I am divorced for 1 year now. I am in a relationship with an amazing woman. However I feel like my knew relationship is a lie because I know that I will always love my ex-wife unconditionally. I never wanted the divorce she did. She initiated sex with someone she didn't know and I didn't handle it very well. I never got angry. I wanted us to work it out. But I was so hurt that I said some horrible things to her. A month later she filed for Divorce. I am trying to get on with my life but it is a hard thing to do when I said I would love her until I die. How can I be in a relationship and love another and be okay with it?????
2006-06-14 04:39:12 · 13 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
God said divorce was ok with adultery had taken place. So since she cheated and initiated the divorce, its not on your head. Make peace with your failed relationship. Then have a serious talk with this new girl to make sure she wants forever too. Don't marry anyone again if they cannot commit forever to you, its just not your style. And work hella hard to make it work this time.
2006-06-14 04:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really believe in god than you should know that nothing happens unless he wants it to happen!! There is always a reason for what happens in life good or bad!! The reason being is that there is something in the future for you to benefit from it, you may not think like that in the beginning but when you reach the end than you realize that!!
What i meant is that things are over between you and your ex, seems like she never loved you the way you did to her otherwise she would have not cheated on you!! As for your new relationship look at it as a gift from god since you, yourself said that she is amazing that means something!! Life doesn't end just because you got a divorce! As for you loving your ex wife well that can never change love doesn't change that fast! But you do have to put her in a corner of your heart now and this new amazing woman show you what love is!! You can not make yourself love! Love just happens!
Face the facts of your life, your divorce and you don't have any chance with your ex she is not worth it!! And now your with a wonderful woman what do you want to do for the rest of your life? Moan for the one you don't have or be happy for what god has given you!! Another chance in life!!
2006-06-14 11:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife promised that she would only love you and stay true to you too when you got married. Like everything else in this world, marriage has rules too. Even if you convince your wife to come back to you now , she is going to leave sooner or later. If she really loved and cared for you , she never would've slept with another man in the first place. Well but , all of us make mistakes... She would've atleast tried to apologise or make up... But from what you say , she hasnt done that either. Talk to her one more time and try to work it out. . . But if that doesnt work out , forget about her. Promises are promises only when both people abide by it. Its not your fault afterall. And finally, as Shakespeare said , There is no such thing as good or bad , but thinking makes it so...
Go ahead and love your new woman. Its all in the head... If you think you still love your ex wife... the thought will linger. But if you change your mindset , then all will go well :) good luck :)
2006-06-14 11:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by PavithraIndran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be ok! I am going through this right now but my choice. God will understand. And loving someone forever but not being in love with someone is totally different. I love my husband but I am not in love anymore and I can't stick around to try to fall back in. It's hurting me pretty bad to do this divorce thing. I always thought I would be married forever, NOPE! It comes with life sometimes. If your in a relationship now work with that or she is going to get hurt to. It isn't a lie though. I am scared myself to start dating again because it's been so long since and times surely have changed maybe you could help me with that. You will be fine and it sounds like you have an amazing girl to help you through. Maybe even talk to her a little about it. If you need a friend to talk to anytime I will be here. I know exactly how you feel to a point! jonesi0@yahoo.com
2006-06-14 11:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by jonesi0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray about this and seek God's help and guideance for the answer to this. If you truley love your ex wife then dont even begin seeing anyone else and be honest with this woman and tell her how you feel. Talk to your pastor too and i also recommend you go to a divorce recovery class somewhere in your area at a church. This will be very helpful to you. I also feel you may need counseling. If you want to wait for your ex wife and you still love her then by all means stay single.
2006-06-14 13:32:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your ex if you did not mean what you told her. We sometimes lose our patience and say things we regret. It is human unfortunately. People make mistakes but learn through them. Do not let the ruins of a day run the future of your lives. Correct them if you can and stop repeating them. Both of you if you want to work things out. Marriage is a difficult think. It requires a lot of negotiation to really last. Mutual open communication is essential .Don 't sleep over it. We live now and we do not want to wander what it would have been like had we acted differently. Sometimes time heals, wounds, sentiments and words. Use it to see how things have turned out. For both of you. If you do not clear your feelings you will not advance happily in the future. We live stressed lives as it is, let's not keep torturing us.(..from personal mistakes too).Good luck!
2006-06-14 11:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...you have to look beyond everything here...it doesnt matter how amazing this new woman is, it is obvious you are still in love full force with your ex wife, and you wont have a relationship worth a flip as long as you are. You need to run to her now, and talk- sounds like you didnt talk...or maybe YOU talked but didnt do much listening. You need to know that you cant fix it for sure, and u need to find closure before you can move on.
2006-06-14 12:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by Elly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same Exact situation,and I still and will always love her,and I want you to do the same ,but continue to pray for her as well as the other party,and believe (Me) I know it's gonna be a hard thing to do.But trust in the Lord.I'm not pointing fingers ,but you said she filed for the divorce.Then that settles it(God does not like divorce at all)so you can look it as this (the scripture is Malachi 2;16).When you've done all you can do stand on his (God) word.And I promise you that everything will work itself out.And if you did'nt already ,turn your life and this situation over to him (God) right know.Be blessed
2006-06-14 12:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by Rexx F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are going the divorce process as well. I didn't ask for it, infact I thought everything was going great, apparently he wasn't happy. I still love him to death, and wish things were different, but he made the choice. I am now looking into dating again and sometimes I do feel guilt because I still feel married but you have to take life as it is, and accept changes. I'm not going to waste time thinking about someone who doesn't think about me. Over time your feelings will change.
2006-06-14 13:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by honeybaby729 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the one that made the choice of not loving you. She is the one that broke that same promise you made to God on your wedding day. Plus, no one is asking you to stop loving her, but no one is saying you can't love more then one person in your life. If you are true to yourself and your new partner you deserve all the happiness you can get.
2006-06-14 11:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by fasb123r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋