Living in a breakdown, I'm going to die?

Question

I feel I'm living in a breakdown. I'm numb,edgy, and if anything goes wrong anymore than it is- I get close to hurting myself or someone.
Evereyone knows I need a break but it doesn't come.
I spoke with my fiance who is at Disneyworld right now with his kids for his visit and when I heard the backgorund music/fun/ I felt like a thousand pound man with equal strength who wanted to kill God.
I'm pissed, I'm in agony, and I'm depressed. And I can do absolutely nothign about it, b/c I can't afford it.
My glasses are broken and the lens are so sctrached I can't see well.
My kids won't eat and fight everything to the point of exhaustion. My oldest is Autistic and I cannot help her b/c I'm poor.
I have 4 shirts and three pairs of pants. That's it.
I work full-time and am scraping to get by. I feel like dying without killing myself. I'm about to go insane and I'm losing myself more and more everyday.
Don't tell me to get help when I can't afford it or have time.
Where is the joy??????

Answer 1

I'm so sorry. There aren't going to be easy answers to these tough problems, but please feel free to e-mail me if you want to discuss it more. Most churches are very willing to help, with both financial needs and counseling, and even though it might be embarrassing, you could ask. Also, there's no shame in asking for public assistance, especially since you're already working full-time. If you qualify for food stamps, take advantage of it. The minimum wage these days isn't close to enough to support a family. Do you have any friends or family who could babysit for an evening? You need some time to yourself every once in awhile. Hang in there.

Answer 2

Try escaping when you can. You can try to take an extra five minute bath, deep breathes throughout the day. Maybe some Yoga when you go to bed and the house is somewhat quite. Anything just to take you away from the situation for a few minutes. TRY to think positive, and smile. All of this isn't going to be a quick fix or make your problems go away, but it can't hurt either. Just talk yourself through each minute of each day. Example: "I'm going to get through this minute with a smile" and when that minute passes go for the next. If you don't make it through a minute start over. Also, I don't know where you stand with God, but I would suggest you pray pray pray and don't excpect a miracle overnight, good things come with time. Good Luck to you and may God be with you. Now that I've said all that I have a question: Why is your fiance' at Disney while your at home struggling? That isn't where he belongs right now with you on the verge of a complete breakdown. I understand he needs to spend time with his children, but that is a little much being at Disney while you're scraping to get by.

Answer 3

i think very sorry on your loss... you're for sure going trough very confusing cases... you may be at liberty to inform your mom the way you sense. No figure needs to ascertain their little ones die, that's between the hardest issues to stay... So that's everyday that she cries for all time... in case you're demanding that this project brings her in a melancholy, you ought to request assembly a psychologist with your relations... that's a psychologist's interest to training guide human beings into the complications of their lives... it really is the most appropriate funding that you'll make in a project like that i think... Be there on your mom and save on telling her you want her and how significant she is to you. no matter if she keeps crying once you tell her, it would not recommend it really is not helping her heal...

Answer 4

I have recently been there. I can tell you this, but it likely will not aleviate the pain you are feeling. I suggest you find a way to work with the ache. Do you write? Have you joined autistic parents support groups? Is there a government health program in your state that will help you? In Indiana, healthcare for children is guaranteed if families can not afford the insurance of their jobs, and in addition families can get low-cost insurance. Most states have similar programs. But money is not totally your issue, I think. There are many support groups online that could help you out. If you can write, there are many jobs you can do at home, but you must write well. If not, there are other working at home jobs that might help out. I suggest you make a plan. How are you going to help yourself recover? **hug** Hug your little ones. Join freecycle and get more clothes. Share love.

Answer 5

First off it is vital that you speak to someone who is supportive of your needs. ( a family member perhaps?) Ask that person to sit with your children for just a little while while you sit and do something for yourself. If you relegate duties to people who love you and are willing to help you, you will be less stressed.

Maybe you should check into a church group for your children. They are often inexpensive or even free, and will give you more time and less stress.

Try checking into an online support group for parents of autistic children. They may have tips to make your life a little easier.

As for your glasses, where did you purchase them? Often, stores will clean and do small repairs on glasses they sell without charge.

I honestly hope you find some support.

Best of Luck

Answer 6

Your child qualifies for disability payments, and as a single mother you DO qualify for medicare (mediCAL in California). Go to the department of social services and tell them that you are severely depressed and need to get immediate psychological help, and help with your autistic child. I have worked with dd's and autistic children in a group home environment, it may be an option you should look into if you are not able to give your child the help he/she needs. The help IS out there, go get it.

Answer 7

Go to your local library and read the book "A Purpose Driven Life"
and "Your Erronous Zones" by Dc. Wyne Dyer. It will save you life. What you need to do is to refocus, and look at the glass half fool. I you force your self to believe, you'll be enlightened. Have faith in your believes and they'll get you through the day. Take it one day at a time. I'm telling you this because I am currently fighting alcoholism. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Fiestygirl:
I hope that you feel a little better after u wrote this question, it help you vent all or some anger you might have. Everyone at a moment feel like run away because it happen to me. Pray to God to give you the strenght you need. You got other good advice from other people there.
God Bless you.

Answer 9

Sweetness, please don't hurt yourself. I know you don't want to hear it but you do need help. You can go to your county or city's Department of Human Services. They will help you with your autistic child, they can help get you on food stamps and you can get help for your own depression. You're overwhelmed, my dear. I understand. I've been there myself. right now you see no joy because there doesn't appear to be any nor reason for any. Please call your Human Services. It might be a hassle to start oiut but it will be better in the long run. Please.

Answer 10

You need to contact county or state services. They can get you the help you need. They can get you therapy at what you can afford to pay, even nothing if that's the case. They can get you respite services, so you can go take a break while somebody's watching your kids.