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Even the movie stars he prefers are tall blondes with blue eyes. He puts great emphasis on women's looks, is critical. How to raise my self-esteem?

2006-06-14 04:23:46 · 25 answers · asked by froggie45 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

He favors blonde actresses and his best friend is a female blonde, 10 yrs. younger than me. What is he doing with me? (He places lots of emphasis on appearance and is critical of women's appearances.)

2006-06-14 08:23:58 · update #1

He is 50 yrs. old and i am 45.

2006-06-14 08:45:14 · update #2

He has never married or been engaged.

2006-06-14 08:56:15 · update #3

25 answers

By dumping him. If you see that you run the risk of losing him to a tall blonde then raise your self esteem by s**t-canning him.

Puts great emphasis on woman's looks? So...you're average yet are loving, intelligent, can cook beautifully and are the definition of passion in bed...yet looks dominate his ideals?

Call me....let him have the blondes. he doesn't sound worthy of you anyway and if you stay with him you're a chump and deserve the heartbreak that is almost sure to come.

2006-06-14 04:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2 0

You should be worried about your relationship, not raising your self-esteem. You could have the best self-esteem, but gain 20 pounds and him want a divorce. You need to think hard about if you want a man that is more interested in the wrapping than the inside. Sounds messed up to me. Would he also dislike you if you got big during pregnancy, or got stretch marks from pregnancy? Be very careful. If you haven't seen anything that tells you he's growing up and becomming less shallow, I'd suggest not going forward with the marriage. Dating and the engagement are designed to see if you two can merge together into a happy married unit. If you've been with him 4 years and he still stares at the leggy blondes as they pass, I'd be wondering if he really wants marriage. Its a forever kinda thing, better or worse, blonde or brunette. If you are unsure now, don't marry the guy. He'll just tear your self-esteem to shreds and divorce you later.

2006-06-14 11:33:26 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 0 0

Okay, first off, all PEOPLE, not just guys, look at other people. The important question is; are they just looking, or are they staring? From your question it sounds like the latter.

The second thing you need to know is; If your fianceé is staring, why? You sound pretty hot; so why is he looking elshewhere? Boredom? A 'curvier' figure? Or maybe he's thinking about what it would be like (snicker) if you weren't smart! A lot of guys joke about wishing their fianceé/girlfriend/wife wasn't as intelligent as she is. Some of them wish it was true.

The third thing to know is; Which is more important to him? That's the toughie. If he knows that it hurts you to do that (and he should) and he still continues, then it's really apparent that he doesn't value your feelings.

As for your self-esteem; I have a fantastic, happy marriage to a short brunette. I know, and earlier, dated, a lot of women who were more attractive. But looks are only great from the age of sixteen to the age of thirty, if you take care of yourself. Personality, intelligence, wit, character, etc; those stand the test of time. If you have a great personality, You're awesome! My wife is so cool, she hangs out when I go play pool; She smokes a cigar with me every now and then; She likes to ride my motorcycle; She plays bass when I jam with my buddies. I wouldn't trade her for the hottest woman in the world, because she has a kick-@$$ personality.

If it turns out that he isn't good enough for you, remember the words of my drunk friend kelly; "Men are like trolley cars. There's plenty of them in the sea."

2006-06-14 11:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by crazylikemrrogers 1 · 0 0

Remember that he is with you! Not some tall blonde. I am a short dude, many self-esteem problems over the years, but I am also married to a beautiful woman who for whatever reason loves me and is... with... me! He loves you, and he is there with you. You obviously bring something to him that fullfills his heart. Don'y worry about fantasy. Besides, is he Brad Pitt?

2006-06-14 11:28:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dayve R 1 · 0 0

He may be like my husband. Likes to look at women like that, but would never take them home to mom. Hurt my feelings too. It's not you. I asked him & although he doesn't like blondes he likes the more sexy types. But he told me that he LOVES my more wholesome appeal. Does this mean I'm ugly to him? No, he's says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. I guess some guys just like to look at certain women as a pure sex thing.

2006-06-14 11:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra 5 · 1 0

First of all talk to your fiance and explain to him how his actions make you feel. If he really loves you he will see the error in his ways and stop these actions. Ultimately though if he continues with actions that tear down your self esteem rather than build it up he isn't the right guy for you. You really don't want to be married to a man who isn't there for you to build you up and make you feel good about yourself.

2006-06-14 11:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0 0

similarly, there are many tall blondes with blue eyes who have boyfriends who stares at petite, slender, brunettes - youthful or otherwise.

if you are with a guy with the wrong taste, then he's a guy with the wrong taste. not to be mixed up with your feeling of self-worth.

2006-06-14 11:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by Son of Gap 5 · 0 0

I would let him know how you feel, its very disrespectful, my husband never does that because he knows its rude, i mean how can you live your life with a guy who cares so much about looks when you know your going to get old one day, i mean we are old most of our life, you don't want to be thinking when your 35 "Is he cheating on me with a younger woman" just think about it before you take the next step

2006-06-14 11:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by AFwife 4 · 1 0

Try not to take it personally. As the saying goes "just cause I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu"! If you want to make a point try to stare more at men you find attractive and see if it bothers him. Childish, but fun. ;)

2006-06-14 11:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

All guys look whether they make it obvious or not. Dont compare yourself EVER! He's with you. Get a blond wig and spice it up in the bedroom every once in a while!

2006-06-14 11:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by ♥monamarie♥ 5 · 0 0

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