I love him, but at the same time I'm not in love with him. He's angry all the time and it's driving me away. I shouldn't have to live my life miserable right?!
2006-06-14 03:52:52 · 23 answers · asked by chilipepper77 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This happened in my marriage.
I realized that I had a choice to live each day according to my descisions, and was not a victim of my husband's whims and anger. So, I was just totally honest with him. I told him that HE was not to blame for our strained relationship, but that I had made the choice daily, whether to accept his behavior or not...and thus far I had just accepted it.
However, I was making the choice THAT day, that I would not spend the rest of my life dodging his temper. So, as I was in control of my own life, I WOULD make the change. Either he behaved as if he loved me, or I would live happily without him.
Guess what! It worked. My marriage is better than ever. That is all it took to wake him up...and he loved me enough to change, nearly overnight.
If he hadn't, I would have left....
We have been married for 38 years, and this happened in 2002.
Caution...Don't get into a yelling or accusing mode. If you can't discuss this calmly, then write it out, and hand it to him.
2006-06-14 04:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Chetco 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
No, God does not want you to live in misery!!
Have you asked him why he is angry all of the time? As far as not being "in love," are you talking about that initial butterflies in the stomach feeling in the beginning of a new relationship? That fades and turns into a deeper and more stable love in most good and loving relationships. HOWEVER, people can drive spouses (partners, lovers, girlfriends, boyfriends) away through bad behavior. Bad behavior will take away loving feelings as quickly as a hot poker to the eye! Is it that you have reached a point where you CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS to him, but just don't love him?
Tell him how you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. It may be he does not know what his anger is doing to your feelings for him. If he cares about the relationship and you, he will work on making the necessary changes.
If that doesn't work, tell him you want a divorce. Or you could move out one day when he is at work, don't tell him where you are, and file for divorce. (ahhh... the coward's way!)
Good Luck!
2006-06-14 05:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I was like you before and the best thing for you to do is go some where a lot of people are and tell him and if trys something I'm sure there will be someone to help you if there isn't mase him. and no you shouldn't have to live a miserable life because life is to short trust me.
2006-06-14 03:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize that you are in the position that you want out, but I think you should at least give him the opportunity to "fix" the problem. You didn't say if you and he have tried counseling, but it might be worth a shot. You shouldn't have to be miserable, but there is always the chance that he can make it better. Good Luck!
2006-06-14 04:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try an seek counselling together if you still love him. If trust isnt broken there is still hope. He must have been a great guy at some point in the past for you to have married him. Try talking to him to find out where it has gone wrong. If all else fails, try to make it a clean break.
2006-06-14 03:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by Spaceboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and say something along the lines of, "I'm not happy in this marriage, and I don't see it lasting. I'd like a divorce." Don't mince words or try to be nice about it if you're not willing to try to fix the marriage, as it may just give him false hope.
2006-06-14 03:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get the divorce papers, stick them in the morning newspaper. he'll figure it out. if hes angry all the time and driving you away, he probably wants a divorce too.
2006-06-14 03:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by AreYouForReal? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an opportunity to help you. #1 how long have you been married? #2 do you have children? I would like to share my experience's with you, Email me Christsluv4u@yahoo.com. Don't let the name fool ya. I'm not religous but I am spirtual. I think I can help you do the right thing for yourself.
2006-06-14 04:00:47 · answer #8 · answered by bigblock_475_hp d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you just told this room full of strangers. That you love him but you are not in love with him, and that his anger has driven you away and you can't live your life this way.
2006-06-14 03:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by zartsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best thing to do is sit down and explain how you feel. let him know that you would like to separate, if nothing else, ask for counseling to try and resove issues if it is possible. if you do love him, it might be worth trying to work out the differences first or see the light that it is not going to change. good luck
2006-06-14 04:06:24 · answer #10 · answered by smiths j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋