When I was dating my boyfriend....he cheated on me after six months...I forgave him, and he promised he would never do it again..so a year later I married him...but now I find that I am insecure about where he is and what he is doing (even though most of the time I know where he is)..he always calls me to put my mind at ease...but I have this picture in my mind that since we are married now..he is doing it again...especially since his ex lives right next door.....am I being too paranoid or should I just trust him and not let this ruin our marriage??
2006-06-14 03:48:02 · 10 answers · asked by caring_jules 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me start by saying that in a marriage you have to have communication and trust. If you feel that he is doing the cheating again, you need to ask him. If he is calling you then he trying to show you that he cares and that he is committed to you and only you. If you have forgiven him for the past then let the past stay in the past and get over the fact that his ex lives next door. I say that you should trust him and make sure that you talk to him about how you are feeling about things and don't keep them inside for them to build up. If you let it build up you are going to explode and when that happens you may have ruined the best thing that you have had.
2006-06-14 03:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by sljpng 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not silly at all! If the two of you were supposedly in an exclusive relationship while you were dating, the fact that he cheated on you is an indicator of his character. People can change, but it takes a lot of time and insight to reverse a major character flaw. Also, having the ex next door is a little too close for comfort. The real question here is whether you can let yourself trust him. Living your life constantly wondering whether your spouse is cheating on you is no way to live. Since you're already married, you should try your best to let it go. Don't burden yourself with those thoughts unless something really concrete makes you have your doubts again.
2006-06-14 04:01:23 · answer #2 · answered by spencer2710 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being silly you are just still hurt and not past the pain of what he has done to you in the past. You really need to find a way to somehow forgive him and try to get past this and seek counseling and help if need be. I feel that you both should move and not live next door to his ex. This is not good . You do need to learn to try and trust him again over time if he has changed and is not longer doing this to you.
2006-06-14 05:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be easy to say "trust him" but actually doing that could be difficult for you. I would talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. See if there is a solution that the two of you could come up with regarding this issue. If not, I would recommend talking with a marriage counselor/pastor. Your feelings could cause problems or perceived problems to crop up in other areas of your marriage, which could eventually cause major damage to your marriage.
2006-06-14 04:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by kim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky one to reply gracefully. By featuring your query, you open a huge door. I, alternatively, don't the least bit desire to re-open any of your undoubtedly (and admirably) healed or resolved emotions in any respect. Or even reply thoughtlessly. But your reference approximately throwing stones is a well one. Stoning might be a flawlessly-applicable punishment that are supposed to be allowed to be carried-out through folks that have to convey it out probably the most. Large adequate ones thrown till you get a well hit wherein you wish them to hit probably the most. But you could no longer be the form of character to carry forth one of these punishment, and that's wherein the clash among human nature at it is worst is faced through human nature at it is such a lot forgiving. I will say to you, as a person, that is anything I can not appreciate nor rationalise. Anyone could scouse borrow a loaf of bread due to the fact they're hungry and determined. We can forgive them for one of these solitary act. I as many can, would forgive many, many matters. But additionally, as a person, seeking to assume being a girl who has been forcefully violated on this approach, I don't have any mercy inside me whatever. The lady will have to on this case accept the correct to be sole pass judgement on, jury and executioner. In my opinion. Only after liberating that interior rage would I even ponder being my typical foolish self as soon as once more. edit: have you ever ever listened to song through Tori Amos
2016-09-09 01:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him the benefit of the doubt. dont go to extremes with your mind. sometimes our imagination can get carried away. its totally normal you are feeling this way though. just dont start throwing accusations until you know for sure whether he has given you a reason since you've been married. be careful because if you get to pushy and paranoid it will push him away and maybe into someone elses arms!!!
2006-06-14 03:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your concerns, talk about it, then put the past where it belongs, in the past. Unless he gives you a reason to be suspicious, I wouldn't worry about it. He's married now, and that's different than just dating. Good luck!
2006-06-14 04:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust isn't about him it's about YOU. You can easily trust him, and coincidentally catch him, if you know in your heart that no matter what he does YOU will be okay.
2006-06-14 04:14:09 · answer #8 · answered by dream girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you chose to forgive him that means you have to put this behind you or it will ruin your marriage
2006-06-14 03:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust him and move her to another street.
2006-06-14 03:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋