How far can someone go before it is considered cheating?

Question

Talking is one thing, but what about talking about sex? Is that too far? What would you do if you knew your spouse was talking to other people about sex online? I know lots of people do it. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm not angry. Should I just ignore it?

Answer 1

Emotional Affairs
Emotional Infidelity
Emotional Affairs and Emotional Infidelity have
just as many negative effects on marriages as
physical affairs.  Coping with emotional affairs is
often difficult.  This article explains just exactly
"What is an Emotional Affair?"
Sadly, emotional affairs and emotional infidelity are becoming prevelant in the workplace and
across the internet.  The negative effects of having affairs on marriages is just the same for an
emotional affair as any affair.  Emotional infidelity is still infidelity, but just what is an emotional
affair?

An emotional affair is an emotional bond with someone other than your spouse.  It does not have to
be sexual, though usually there is a sexual attraction.  Emotional affairs have the following
characteristics:

Secrecy

Secrecy in an emotional affair takes various forms.

The relationship itself is usually kept secret from the spouse or significant other.  If the relationship
is not completely secret, the extent of the relationship is most often minimized and the details are
kept secret.  This can be just as damaging and having the same negative effects on a marriage.

An emotional affair often involves, doing things and saying things they would not do with the
spouse.  Conversations, intimacy are on a level that they would never want their spouse to know
about.  Conversation they would never want their spouse to overhear.

An emotional affair often involves the sharing of emotions, thoughts, fantasies, desires, and goals
that are not shared with the spouse.

Often it is thought that because the relationship is not sexual that it is not an affair.  This is not
true.  You take away from your spouse intimacy and the amount of energy you would put into your
relationship when you have such an attachment to someone else.  It is a very slippery slope,
one that often leads to a sexual affair as well.

Ultimately, if you are sharing details of your life with another person that you would not want your
spouse or significant other to know about, chances are you are involved in an emotional affair.  If
you would feel shame to know that your spouse overheard or knew the true nature of the
relationship it is an emotional affair.  

Emotional affairs still contain the elements of secrecy and deception and are as damaging and
devastating (if not more) than a sexual affair.  It's important to note too that some affairs are both -
emotional and sexual.  Emotional affairs are often more difficult to end, and for the betrayed, more
difficult to recover from.  As with affairs in general, the sooner the relationship is stopped, the
greater likelihood for saving the marriage or significant relationship.
take note of the last two lines!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I would talk to your partner about it. It is obviously troubling you to some degree to have asked the question. The fact that you are not angry will make the discussion go a little easier; however, don't be surprised if your spouse denies it at first out of embarrassment for getting caught or reacts angrily (a defense mechanism).

Personally, I believe couples need to be open with one another. Anything done in secrecy in a couple relationship (unless it's planning some form of surprise for the other partner) makes me question the true intimacy, commitment, and honesty of that relationship.

Ask yourself, what are you prepared to accept? What is it that you need from this relationship? If you deny yourself these answers, there is risk of resentment and a whole set of other unpleasantries coming into play further on down the road.

Answer 3

Yes talking about sex can be too far if you are having cyber or phone sex with each other and lusting after each other in your hearts. That is considered cheating and is very hurtful and can lead to the actual act someday. I would not totally ignore this if i were you. I would ask him how much of it he is doing and if it is cyber or cam or even phone sex this is just wrong and adulterous and he is being unfaithful to you in his heart and mind. This will ultimatley ruin your marriage and relationship if this conitnues to happen.

Answer 4

Being emotionally involved is cheating,, people can say what they want, but taking your emotions from your spouse is the beginning of the end if not corrected early on.

Answer 5

Definately not ignoring. Once people stray in the head...there is already a problem and if ignored, it will escalate to the next.

You guy need to have a heart to heart talk and the chat program must go

Answer 6

If you're married your spouse should be talking to YOU about sex. No, don't ignore it. Once you act on something you're thinking about doing, that's the limit.

Answer 7

The problem here is that just cos lots of folks do it doesn't mean that it is right or should be acceptable by you. That's probably why folks complain about the immorality of today's world - how marriages become meaningless & ethics and vows mean nothing. T'is sad really come to think of it. It wasn't meant to be this way in my parents' time. And I wouldn't want my nephew thinking it's right too or that he can do that. Just my view.

Answer 8

Cheating can be defined as sharing intimate time with someone outside of your spouse.
That includes but is not limited to chat rooms or telephone calls.

Answer 9

to my eyes that is consider 100% cheating, it always starts with a thought.

hold on to what belongs to you and don't ignore it, if you do you might regret it.

Answer 10

It might not be cheating per se. It is definitely a betrayal. I'm not sure which is worse.