i am 17 years old i have a problem in my family and im confussed what to do?

Question

my mom and dad are not in a good touch they are seperate.many a time i have tried to convice them but all in vain both say that he/she is avoiding me .i dont no what to do.because of this i have a problem in thie society i am in hostel when my dad comes to see me he comes with another lady he as married one lad and she as got a son who is also studying in the same school.the problem is i couldnt say this is my mom.even till now my mom is suffering for us in saudi.i want both dad and mom.my mom said leave your dad and but i close todad i want both my parents to be united so please give me some sugesstion

Answer 1

Refuse to get caught up in a drama that is not yours. Your responsibility in the situation is to remain in the relationship with both that you can manage. You do not have to tell each of them where you stand...and you don't have to share when one is with you or not. Do not expect that you can change their status...that, too, is not your responsibility. You can neither separate them, nor bring them together, they have to accomplish this for themselves.

Answer 2

This is really common here in the US, but maybe not so much in Saudi Arabia. Teenagers like yourself suffer a lot and worry about this a lot.
The problem is not their behavior, but how you can deal with it. Either they will reconcile or they won't, and it will have nothing to do with you.
You are not responsible for their behavior and you cannot change them. All you can do is make the best mental adjustment for yourself. Since you are almost an adult, I suggest you live with the parent you feel the most comfortable with, understanding that you will not change the situation. If you can't do this, then move in with another relative temporarily to get some distance from the situation. By all means keep in touch with both of your parents. Pray sincerely if it helps you, to have patience with them and for everyone's life to improve.

Answer 3

I'm really sorry about your situation, bud.
Sometimes, people grow apart and usually, it's the innocent ones, like yourself, that have to suffer.
I wish I could tell you everything will be ok, but life does not always work out like that, I'm afraid.
Think of it this way, if there was a boy at school you really didn't like at all, would you be his best buddy, just because another friend wanted you to? It's a bit like that with your mum and dad. If they don't love each other anymore, there is nothing you can do about that, sorry. It's a horrible situation to be in and it sounds like your parents have become too wound up by their problems to see how it affects you.
You have to do what you feel is best for yourself. Tell each parent to stop talking badly in any way about the other, to you. They will have to learn you love them both.
You WILL find it gets easier as time goes on and you grow up, but other than that, I'm afraid I can tell you nothing better.
I come from a broken home too, so I know a little of what you are going through. Just keep strong and you will become a better person for it, believe me.

Answer 4

Sometimes relationships don't last and when they daon't it is hardest on the children. You shouldn't choose between your parents. You love them both and they both love you. Yeah it hurts to see your father with another woman but he does have the right to be happy. You can't make your parents stay together and be unhappy. Time heals all wounds and when you get older you will understand. I know this doesn't help but if your parents relationship together was working they never would have split up in the first place. All you can do is sit back and let them live happy lives apart from each other. You mother is really better off without your father.

Answer 5

Well, life is interesting. Your parents are adults. At seventeen, you are not an adult. At least your problems seem to be only social and someone else's -- not your own. Establishing distance at seventeen is usual. It is a natural 'weaning' process that signals that you are becoming a man and making decision for your future. Try to focus on your grades in school; speak with the guidance counselor about choices available after high school. You may also speak with him or her about the awkwardness of your social predicament; however, unless there has been an abuse, the only thing to do is to learn to be tolerant of your father. Your mother is obviously hurt from the separation; however, telling her about your father's activities may only add to her worries and concerns about you. If your immediate needs are in jeopardy or you feel that your physical safety is uncertain, then speak with your state's department of Child Services. They may be able to intervene to make sure that your home environment is safe. This will undoubtedly irritate your father; however, his behavior has not been to your satisfaction either.

Remember that you are responsible for your words and actions -- not those of your parents.

Try to avoid hostility with your father; he may prefer privacy with his new 'love interest'. If possible, find someone else to visit while they are together. Just say that you feel uncomfortable about their relationship. If any act of violence is spurred, telephone the police or other law enforcement agent.

Answer 6

What you are feeling is Natural Babe! It doesn't matter if your 7 or 17.... Stay neutral as possible... Boys are for the most part are closer to the mothers.... Take this situation as a life lesson! Make sure you don't let it become a cycle. Learn from their hard heads. Make sure you make a effort not to inflict this on your children. Only THEY have the power to put it back together.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but sometimes when parents are not getting along well, it is better for them to separate than to stay together and not speak, or worse, argue and fight all the time. If your parents are not in love anymore, it is probably better for them to just end it. Believe me, I know it's hard, but in time, you will see that it was the right choice. They will get along better with each other and be better and more loving parents for you and any siblings you may have. Best of luck and hang in there, it will get better.

Answer 8

Stop trying to get your parents back togather. They have seperated for a reason. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TOGATHER. They both love you and care about you but if you're constantly nagging them to get togather, the only person you'll hurt is yourself. You can't pick sides, you can't use one against the other, just love them both. That's all you can do.

Answer 9

You have a choice to make. It sounds like your mom and dad are finished with each other. You must choose one and let the other one go. You did not give much information, but it sounds like your dad is wrong to me.

Answer 10

If your father and mother wish you to go away, are you able to transfer in with a household member? We have no idea your trouble, however, there's not anything I might feel of as a mother or father that my little one might do this I could ask them to go away... Maybe you must speak on your father and mother and check out to paintings by way of your trouble in combination.