I'm engaged to this guy. Last night I asked him, "do he love me" his comment was ask me that in 3 months, (I have no idea, why 3 months) We've been seeing eachother for a year in a half now. I then said, ok, we're about to get married, and you're saying ask you in 3 months if you love me? Then I said, do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? He said he really don't know. What is going on in his head, I really really love him, and I know he cares for me. How should I interpret his answer?
2006-06-14 02:32:59 · 13 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either he is trying to "manly" and funny..and it came across as being rude and distanced...or he is getting cold feet.
I would just sit him down and ask him really. That is the only way you are going to really figure this thing out.
2006-06-14 02:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bevin M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very same thing happened to me just before I got married to my first husband.
After seven years and two babies later, he left me for another woman who was 18 years old. To tell you he was a heartless scumbag is an understatement.
Honey, I know that you don't want to hear this, but you already know in your heart. The red flags have been raised, it is your choice to be blind or open your eyes.
He is not truly commited to you or his answer would have been different.
Just remember, there is someone out there that is perfect for you and will really love you for who you are. Don't settle for less than what you want or you will regret it.
It takes two committed people to make a marriage work. You can't do it by yourself no matter how much you love him.
I pray he doesn't break your heart.
2006-06-14 10:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by KTR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might be getting cold feet. When is the wedding date? I'd be inclined to cancel the wedding, or at least put it on hold, until he's decided whether or not he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. This is a really important question, and he needs to be honest with you, for both of you! Better to know now than after the fact.
Good for you for asking these tough questions, and for wondering about his answers. Although the answers might be hard now, better than finding out later.
Good luck!
2006-06-14 09:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by dukefan86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is getting cold feet, but you all need to sit down and have a serious talk about your future together and your feelings for each other. You definitely don't want to go into a marriage not knowing the truth about how he really feels and then end up divorcing 3 months later.
2006-06-14 09:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by BLESSED ONE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~shakes head at Mr. No Straight Answer, sighs~ Give him his three months, but do yourself a favor: put off the wedding until he can be straight with you. While you're at it, contemplate how you feel about the situation, too. Take it from a girl who got married once with all sorts of unresolved worries on that score: it's a pretty party, but it wasn't worth two years of hell.
Here's hoping he can come back with bright eyes and the answer you hope for; best of luck to you.
2006-06-14 09:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand the first remark, its kinda a silly remark to what may seem silly of you to ask of him because of course he does, but when you specifically as about spending the rest of his life with you...that response would make me stop and think how close to the truth is that...I'd pay more attention to the signs now then find out later his intentions are not lasting ones...good luck.
2006-06-14 09:46:12 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way that it sounds... I don't think that he is ready for marriage. I'm sure that he loves you dearly and cares for you... but committment might not be what he is in search for. You both might want to rethink this whole marriage thing... because marriage is a big step... and if he's not ready... you two shouldn't go through with it. You deserve someone better... someone who will love you and not have doubts.
2006-06-14 10:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by UnKnOwN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if hes not sure if he really does love you. Sometimes the connection just isnt their. I would tell him your taking a break for 3 months. Let him find out how he feels.
2006-06-14 09:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by schzaree 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what hes trying to tell you is, that he wants to be with you but its not committed.Someone who's not committed in a relationship and someone who is, will not ever work out.So i would just tell him you need to know now.That you don't want to be waiting much longer for a real answer.Give him a ultimatum, i know its hard to do that, but why should you suffer with someone who does not give it 100% good luck.
2006-06-14 09:40:02 · answer #9 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think u should get married right now then because it sounds like u might be moving too fast
2006-06-14 10:00:10 · answer #10 · answered by glamorous 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋