Mature thoughtful responses only PLEASE.?

Question

I need some advice on what I should do next. See when I was twelve, fourteen and fifteen, I was raped by my biological father. I did not tell my mother or anybody this till I was nineteen years old. I had turned to drugs and was very sexually active. My mom made me make a police report but the case was dropped because of insufficient evidence. My whole life has been screwed up because of this. I have tried a bit of counseling but I just can't stop repalying that first time at the age of 12. I am going to be 29 this year and have four small children that I am very overprotective of I just can not move past it or put it in my past what should I do? Is there like an online couseling group or online chatroom where I could air out all my frustration? Please help!

Answer 1

I think that experiences like that never go away easily. I have been fortunate to not have had that one in my childhood, but my mother has, and even 35+ years ago (she's 40 now), she was still extremely afraid of her father. Her father eventually apologized to her years after the incident, and it took her even a couple years after that to forgive him. There's not a whole lot you can do about the past, but there is something you can do about the future. If I was you, I definiately would keep my children from ever meeting or spending time with your biological father. And if they ever ask about him, and they will, just tell them you're not sure where he's living, or just tell them that you and him had a really serious disagreement in the past and you don't think it would be a good idea to see eachother. The last thing to think about, or look into, would be if your own partner would do such a thing. Don't be afraid to ask. If they truely know you and truely love you, then they wont have a problem answering, even tho it is a difficult question. Just be strong and think towards a possitive future for your kids and yourself, and keep faith that you're doing all you can to keep your family safe.

Answer 2

I'm sorry I don't know of any websites that handle your kind of situation. But I can offer you my help. I'm a very good listener and problem solver. I help alot of my friends [male or female] with thier problems. For instance I just helped a girlfriend progress through her break-up of a long time boyfriend and a court case she had just lost and is going to cost her $6,000. She is doing a whole lot better. If you would like my help just contact me. If I don't hear from you I hope you do find what you are looking for and you enjoy the life of yourself and kids. Have a great day and a wonderful tomorrow.

Answer 3

unfortuately i do not know any online counseling groups for this type of thing. and chat rooms arnt much help either because you always have the assholes that think this is all funny, which it isnt. a good friend of mine went through a similar situation as you for years with her biological father and what helped her get through it was the support of her mother and she decided to start going to church...im not really a church person but it helped her emensley. i dont think that anyone REALLY "gets over" something like that completely but i hope you can find some peace. i wish you all the best...stay strong.

Answer 4

If counseling didn't help I doubt a group/chat would work. What kind of counseling was it though? It needs to be someone w/an education that can pinpoint problems and possibly prescribe you a medication until therapy is over. Sometimes the medication will be needed for life for you to feel normal.

Answer 5

There are chat rooms out there, but your best bet would be to find a psychiatrist who specializes in your type of situation. Talking one-on-one to someone trained in dealing with this will help. You can also have your counselor suggest a support group for other adults living with the same situation. You are not alone, this is far too common a problem. Good luck!

Answer 6

Hi...

I am really sorry to hear what happened to you. I would suggest maybe not using the Internet for your counseling needs. I would think maybe you would need something more face to face with a subject as serious as this. I think there is a website for RAINN, which I think is called the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network. Their website is at www.rainn.org. Try there for resources, but in my own opinion don't use the Internet to help you out for this because who really knows who is at the other end of the modem?
All the best to you!

Answer 7

First all let me say how very sorry I am that this happened to you. Try therapy sweetie, confront it head on and deal with it the best that you can. As far as you being overprotective, that's completely understandable, no one can blame you for that. As far as on-line chat rooms, I'm sure there's something available, maybe you can find on on-line group that will help you deal with that. Unfortunately, you'll have to watch out for the perverted sickos that go along with it, some people actually get off on that kind of thing.

My heart goes out to you. I admire you for wanting to confront your demons - God Bless You honey....

Hugs, Marilyn

Answer 8

I'd be mature and thoughtful about this if I hadn't read your other question. You do need counseling, honey. A LOT of it. Now don't take that as me just being mean, I'm pretty blunt.Type in survivors of incest, rape hot lines or some such into your search window. Something is bound to turn up.

Answer 9

Wow...this is really some thing. And many people knowing about your case would understand why you would be so protective of your own kids. Pretty much the only thing I have heard of has been counseling keep looking and maybe something will pop out. Sorry.

Answer 10

First of all I'm truly sympathetic to your serious situation...next let me tell you to continue to seek counseling from a professional not some on-line forum where none of these people are really interested in what's going on in your life...you may have to seek several options before you find someone that you yourself are really comfortable with...most insurance company's do offer second opinions in their plans...and as for being over protective of your children you're going to make them grow up sheltered and needing to want to get away from your tight grip and in the long run it'll mess them up too....do you want to have something linger over their heads as they get older too you are still young enough yourself to let things go and just move on for your kids sake and yours just love your kids and live your life....hope all the best for you sweetie take care.