My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. When I met him he was going through a divorce. He did not tell his now ex-wife about me until the divorce was 100% final which was recently. I just met his children for the first time last month. I still have not met his ex wife. Am I crazy for thinking she should have known about me a long time ago? We practically live together and are very serious. I do not think she knows the seriousness of our relationship. They get along well and speak everyday. Was it wrong for him to wait so long to tell her? He says he wanted to wait until the divorce was final because he did not want to hurt her and there was a chance she could still take his retirement money (once he retires) if she was angry with him.
2006-06-14 01:22:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he was thinking of you, not wanting to get you implicated in anything. But, keep your eyes open.
2006-06-14 01:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel bad I went through the same thing and it was my lawyer who advised that i not tell the ex about my girlfriend until divorce was final. Even though i had met her after separating from my wife there was a chance the ex could twist things around in court to make it look like i was the adulterer not her.
2006-06-14 10:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by messedupsingledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he was going through a divorce when you were dating, he was doing the right thing as far as the law is concerned. It was a very smart move. He knows her and knows what her reaction might have been had she found out about you. Your relationship could have been brought up in the divorce hearing and used against him. Even the truth about your relationship could have been twisted and caused major complications. This is one of those things you have to deal with choosing to become involved with someone who was still married. My advice, go slow and let him decide when the time is right for her to meet you. Good luck to ya!!
2006-06-14 08:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember that he has kids with this woman, and in order to keep the peace he kept you hidden for a while. Look at it this way the cat is out of the bag now so just let things be. He was just trying to protect you from any drama that could have occured. Look at it this way, now you get to help spend his retirement money and not her.
2006-06-14 08:34:55 · answer #4 · answered by lmrm08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My view is that you're a bit hurt since he didn't mention you to his ex as early as you would have liked. I doubt that there was any intention to hurt you by not telling his ex about you.
He was probably treading very lightly during his divorce in order to get it over with and protect his assets.
Should she have known about you earlier? Does it matter? Your relationsihp is between you and your boyfriend, not you, your boyfriend and his ex wife.
Done let your pride get in the way of your relationship.
2006-06-14 08:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with this. Actually i think it was a good decision that he didn't tell his ex about you while they were divorcing because his ex may all of sudden get jealous/angry and turn the divorce to a nightmare for your guy.
2006-06-14 08:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was still married and things could have turned nasty easily. Have you ever been through a divorce? Give him some slack. I would say it made things easier for everyone.
2006-06-14 08:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.King 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We know thar he CAN be dishonest. Maybe he did it to spare her feelings and keep you out of the conflict. Maybe not. I would watch him closely and be aware of all situations between them. Keep your eyes open.
2006-06-14 08:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay attention to me please;
if he didnt love you and hes not serious then why did he divored his wife da mother of his kids
i guess that hes right about tellin' his wife about you...you should be perseverant with him
DONT PUSH HIM TO HARD,hes tryin' and thank him for da things that hes doin' for you ........LOL
2006-06-14 08:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by lillyshamshom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋