How do you find out what it is you really want?

Question

I notice I base a lot of my decisions on external things. I realized recently how I always do this and it's a circular trap. To find what it is that will calm me I need to know who I am. When writing a list of morals, wants, needs, dreams I find everything on the list can be easily altered and flexible. How do you go about finding your center? Your focus? Tapping into the thing that you know is what you only want-without outside influence? Is it possible? Please give some solid tactics-not just the 'bible' or something like that. Actual things you do to maintain everyday. thanks

Answer 1

There's only one thing you can do: Live. You don't really know who you are or what you want until you're about 30. use the time to get to know yourself, learn through relationships, learn through mistakes. Often we learn what we want when it's denied us. Try to write a diary, both about what has happened and how you felt about it. Looking back it should show a pattern and that will teach you someting about your wants, need and who you really are. Good luck!

Answer 2

Finding your center is easy...making the time is not so easy. Life often times gets in the way. Making time to meditate on a daily basis is a crucial element in grounding yourself. Some people use Thai Chi, chanting, etc...in order to rid the mind of all the "business" that clog our ability to become centered within. Take a few minutes everyday to meditate in a form of whatever will make you comfortable. Once you have mastered "quieting your mind" then much awareness about yourself AND the world around you will become very clear. You'll then be able to identify your "true" wants and needs without the negative influences of the outside world. This can be very rewarding and will take you very far and allow your center to be strong. I wish you well.

Answer 3

You plod, when you find something you enjoy, you go with it.
heres an example, when i go shopping for a specific dress i can shop for hours and nothing lives up to the image in my head, i end up having a really frustrated day with a pure focus on that dress and come home dissappointed. whereas when i go shopping with an open mind, i look at all of the clothes and eventually stumble accross something i love, if i cant find something i still enjoy the day looking and go out again another day.

to focus so intently on who you are and what makes you happy closes off so many opportunites. life is about the experience, the journey and it is these experinces that make you who you are. we are constantly changing and evolving because of our experiences change our perceptions and beliefs.

look at flexibility and alterability as a positive and not a negative. have mini goals, and those mini goals will develope and grow as you achieve them, move a mountain one step at a time.

if you enjoy something, no matter how small it seems, research it, find how you can make that into a goal. the key to happiness is to have goals, to have something to work toward to motivate you.

Answer 4

For me, I find it's not easy too to find my "center". But if I think again carefully, I often based my thinking way with the environment that are closest with me. Say, if you are reading many books about "How to be a good bussinessman?" you will ended up with bussiness thinking way. Thus your everyday decision calculation will be based on profit-or-loss thing. But if you loved to read many romance novels, you'll become at least a romantic person and maybe has a little sensitive heart. Thus if you're making decision, you'll based on what your heart feel. If your heart right now is in bad mood, most likely you will make a "no" decision (you know what I mean). That's what I thought.

Don't worry, many people are still searching for center and focus of their lives. For me, it's not easy though, but reading bible everyday does give help for keeping my center to God, even though it also based on our commitment.

Oh yes, making commitment is also a way to keep ourselves devoted to a "center" that we already believed is true. For example, we believe that have a generous heart is a focus of life that we must have because it's a good focus. Then to make ourselves devoted to that focus, we can make commitment from little to big, such as "I commit myself to make donate to at least one people that needed in a day." That commitment will always make us remember what is our center, and thus keep us focus. Well, in practical, we need a much more greater and powerful center point than just good attitude. And from my experience, God is the most powerful center point a mankind can have to keep his/her path straight. Not only does God actively keeps His sheep in the right path, but with only the "God" term, people can gain faith, and can make commitment (and can fulfill the commitment more easier too, because they realized that they don't only make commitment to themselves, but also to God, an "entity" that can dissapointed and can sad when we breaking our commitment to God). That's what I meant. =)

Finding the center is not a short process. It's an everyday life effort. That's why we bothering to train ourselves by making commitments to the value that we accept that it's right. But the reward is great too.

Good luck in finding your center and focus of life! God bless you. =)

Answer 5

Try putting your life in perspective. I know from personal experience when something tragic happens as in a death of someone close to you you discover automatically what you don't want. I 've found that's the obstacles that you worry the most over actually aren't what's in your way. It's the worry.

Answer 6

well this is how i found out what i really wanted, by not looking for it...it happens to you...what you are is based on the life you hav made for yourself..if you hav a lot of frnds, you are a friendly person. if people come to you in times of trouble, you are a trust worthy person, if you often find yourself alone, that is what you have made for yourself. and if what you are doesnt satisfy you, then all you have to do is find out what does and stick to it...its actually as simple s that u knw:) all the best!!

Answer 7

things that make me happy and make time fly by is what makes a person happy hence the phrase funny how time flys when your having fun so ask yourself what is it you enjoy and the time just seems to fly when you do it

Answer 8

When you choose, ask yourself will you be happy with the choice. Happiness is the guide.

Answer 9

u know what u better keep urself busy one day and try to think anything by imagining what will happen!!
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Answer 10

take the time and think carefully and u can make decissions..