All we can do is fight, day and night. We have a 14 month old son and i want him to have a loving family. I love my hubby and don't want a divorce but i am out of ideas..doing the couseling thing already but it's not really helping. I am tired of feeling sad.
2006-06-13 22:02:14 · 49 answers · asked by Seeking advice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried going to a good church? I just don't think marriage these days can work without God. That's my opinion. Best of luck to you. God bless.
2006-06-26 16:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sugar Dumplin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should find another marriage counselor or sit down with hubby and lay everything on the table and communicate without yelling and screaming in a calm way. That is the mature way of bringing out the problems in your marriage. You two need to get to the root of the problem, be it whatever issue it is.
I will say one thing: If you are being physically abused you should get out of that situation immediately. If you are not and it is verbal, well, that's not really good either.
You two grown adults should realize what this fighting is doing to your precious child. Your baby feels what you feel and is reacting with fear and sadness when you so called adults squabble. Have you ever thought about that before? Do you want your baby to grow up with emotional scars because you two are fighting all the time?
Ask yourselves these questions. Just think about the effects that are happening to your baby now. You and your husband are doing permanent damage to your sweet little one. You both should grow up and be resposible to each other and the little one. Please excuse me for being so forward but you asked and I am just giving you my input as much as you probably hate hearing it, this is all true what I am telling you.
Good Luck with your relationship
2006-06-25 07:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the problem is communications on both sides. It is never one sided. You say he works nights---you have a baby and work 24/7. You need to skillfully explain that a baby has total reliance on the parents. That means him too. He needs to start doing things with his child and sharing the work of fatherhood.Did his early life mold his present situation? He probably had a rotten role model and has no idea that family is all important for the next 18 years. If he doesn't grasp this then maybe you should move on. Not the first time that a couple had this problem. You need clergy or some other advisor to point out what marriage entails. Have some respect for yourself and learn to talk to a man---not a boy.Get involved with other people who exhibit positive family values. Surely he has got some free time to devote to help you with chores.If not, move on.
2006-06-27 18:07:54 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer this question or give any kind of advise or relate their own experiences.
Why is it an unhappy marriage?
What is the fight about?
So you have a 14 year old son, okay
You don't want a divorce
you are out of ideas on what?
counseling did not uncover what the problem is?
You are tired of feeling sad because you do not know why?
Sorry, I don't know WHY either (?)
Talk with him why you are sad, ask him why he is sad. Lets start all over.
2006-06-27 15:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by timer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting away. Is there a family member you can have babysit for a weekend so you and you hubby can get away alone together? Try to rekindle the romance that maybe got left behind when the parenting thing came into play. Maybe the bond over how much your going to miss that child will help the 2 of you see how much you love your family. The wanting to make it work will help the getting it to work.
2006-06-26 06:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by belli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u are stressed out, and got bored of ur routine.for a change do something which u enjoy.u feel like ur hubby is not helping u share the responsibility of the child?this is quite a common problem.u can hire a helper to take care of the baby and spend some time for urself.do some thing u love and always wanted to do-like joining a dance class,learn music,go window shopping,daily go for nature walks,learn to cook something new,best thing-go to a beauty parlour have good massage and change ur looks,something which u always wanted to tryout(that would surprise ur hubby too).taking care of baby is not an easy thing dear.don't be sad and try som innovative way to brighten up things.good luck.
2006-06-27 20:44:07 · answer #6 · answered by ask 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Its really sad to see your condition when you are unhappy with someone whom you love and want to be with. I guess no councelling really works unless two people involve in it realize the problem and how to reach towards the solution. i can give you a suggetion see if it works for you. Stay separate along with your kid from your hubby for sometimes and then you both may realize where you are exactly falling short and top of it are you guys missing each other in your lives. Its actually worked out with a couple I know. best of lucks.
2006-06-13 22:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by tuktuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one and I feel for you. My opinion is that if you are unhappy and counseling isn't working to help you get along, then you should get out of it. Your son will still have 2 loving parents and you won't be miserable. Do you want your son to see you fighting all the time? Do you want to be unhappy until he turns 18 and moves out? I know you love your husband, but if you and he can't make it work, then maybe it's not meant to be.
2006-06-13 22:07:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you are going to a marriage counselor but have you talked to a psychiatrist to make sure you don't have post-partum depression, or any kind of depression? Also, are you at home all day with the baby? Do you want to know everything he did all day because you don't have adult interaction. He may feel you don't trust him. You need adult conversation and a day to yourself now and then, and yes, someone to vent to besides your husband. And don't feel guilty about seeing friends or leaving the baby with your husband all day if you are happy and stress free your baby will be also. If this is contributing to the situation, you need tell him this is the way you feel. Even if he doesn't feel you don't trust him; he may feel you are asking for him to solve everything for you; even though that isn't what you mean, men want to "do" something, and he may be feeling frustrated because he doesn't know how he can "fix it".
2006-06-13 22:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by cyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. It's hard when everybody is unhappy, and there is a baby involved. But..there is hope. I have a great book you could read together..and you can even bring it into your therapy sessions. Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609601040/103-3328001-2481424?v=glance&n=283155
This book is written by John Gottman, Ph.D., one of the premier marriage therapists and relationship researchers in the U.S.
I know it's hard..I have been there too. But ask yourself if you have tried everything you possibly can..before you get divorced. Good luck, and take care of yourself.
2006-06-13 22:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do things in your life that bring YOU happinesss.
I gave up me and became who I thought my husband needed becasue that was love (or so I thought) I was wrong., I gave up who I was. I am single now and know who I am and what I need.
Find a hobby or a job or do things that will cheer you up. Also you might be suffering from depression and seeing the world in a sad way. Or maybe your husband isnt being what you need.
Take care of you. If you don't take care of you then you can't take care of the people that you love.
2006-06-25 19:51:42 · answer #11 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋