he split from his boyfriend last september. he do not pay his way he has 5 cats that mess in the house and he will leav it so when i come home from work i have to clean it up. he do not do house work.he has a new boyfriend and he is round all the time. me and my son feel like he has taken over are home and we are the gests. i do not wont to fall out with him dut i just would like my home back. please help.
2006-06-13 21:52:39 · 20 answers · asked by kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell him he has to go, plain and simple.
He's already violating your friendship by taking over the house...it's time for him to move on.
2006-06-13 21:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound like he will understand how you feel about the cat mess ,or his friend & such.If he cared he would not be so rude already.He seems to be taking advantage.So you know ;legally you have to give someone an actual 30 day notice if they have any belonging's in your home and/or receive mail at your address.I would start "helping" him pack.If he knows this he will string it along as far as he can if he really is as borish as he seems.Any case I would do it quickly as in bring boxes home ,or just start packing, while explaining that you want to be friends still but it would be better for your son and everyone if he found a place where he could be comfortable in his own surroundings.Make some suggestion's on house hunting like Craig's List, Yahoo apartment's and such.Or tell him something like the above and if he doesn't make any attempt to move forward in 3 days start the packing (do a good job don't trash stuff)while he is out and send it to storage or his family.Pick up address change cards beforehand and send his mail to his parent's or pay for a couple month's P.O . box.If he catches you in the middle of it just say you know he is working hard to find a good place and you didn't want him to be stressed out w/out any help.Be fair and give him EVERYTHING back don't cause unneeded drama.Getting your life back will be worth it.Good luck this can be a sticky situation.
2006-06-14 00:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by deny777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definite, in the quick run you're dong actually the right area of help your pal - yet let's also seem on the bigger image. not straight forward success about the marriage bust-up. And now - that's time to seem at sensible information. that's a foul flow to go away merely because she says so. If he's off after yet another woman, that's a diverse tale - yet leaving the domicile merely because his spouse needs him to makes it just about certain that she would have the domicile at the same time as the divorce comes alongside. Hasn't he seen that? I wager his spouse has, or why isn't she transferring out to a persons' spare room? in the intervening time, she has using a house (is he nevertheless paying the inner most loan?) and he has to locate, at his personal fee, someplace to stay. He can not stay on your spare room until eventually he retires! In his personal interest, he could get again in there rapidly. If the marriage is mendable, it really is merely about continuously better appropriate than the alternative. If it really isn't any longer, he could sit down tight and watch for her to flow. Are there little ones? If there are, it really is yet another (the most appropriate) reason behind staying positioned. little ones desire 2 mothers and fathers. as well as that, it really is quite undesirable from each perspective, for them to augment up with the theory that adult men will be merely shunted round because a lady says so. adult men delay 0.5 of heaven.
2016-10-14 03:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by dmitriev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit him down and explain that you opened your home to him and love him being there. BUT you and your son need some alone time. You feel as though you and your son are missing out on so much with him being there. You tell him that it would be lovely if he could stay with his new partner. That it would give them more freedom and your family time to get back to basics.
Just stress that you are glad that he is part of your life. That you don't in anyway want to hurt him. But him over staying his welcome has begun to make you unhappy. If he is a true friend he will understand and leave. GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-13 22:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by vonixx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been there ,done that! I know how you feel. Just clearly tell him that there are some things you guys need to clear up if he is going to live there. Tell him he needs to clean up after his self and his messy cats. You are not his maid. You are not his mother. Tell him to start paying or his cats are gone and so is he. I know you dont want to ruin your friendship and explain that but also explain that you were kind enough to help him out when he needed it so he should be helping out.If he isnt your friend after that then he wasnt your friend to begin with, your son is more important then any friend.....take care of his needs first.
2006-06-13 22:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just have a talk with him tell him that if he is going to stay there with u he is going to have to start to pull his own weight clean up after his self and that he can't always have his friend over u need ur space too best of luck with this
2006-06-13 21:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by white_wizard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your son complained to you about privacy, and you are very concerned about your sons feelings and it is breaking your heart to ask him to leave. But a person has to do what he has to do. Tell him if it is not for your son, things would remain as they are.
Misba
2006-06-13 21:57:31 · answer #7 · answered by Syed M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him just to leave. Simple and straight forward manner. And anyways why will you bother about someone who has no discipline and sensibility and just taking advantage of you being nice and friendly.
2006-06-13 22:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by tuktuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nerve of him! You should tell him straight and simple!
LEAVE NOW YOU BUM!
YOU ARE A BURDEN IN MY HOUSE!
Then, I am sure he'll get the point.
2006-06-13 21:57:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this person is a genuin friend then he will understand if you ask him to leave! He should not be imposing on you! Just be honest!
2006-06-13 21:55:39 · answer #10 · answered by kimmycool2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋