My husband & i were high-school sweethearts, we went out for 4 years & then i found out he was also seeing someone else so i asked him to choose and he went with her. 4 months later i found out i was pregnant with his child, told him and at first he was happy to marry me and do the right ting, a month later he calls me to say that he loves her & not me and disappeared from home. his parents brought him back and we got married. After 12 years i had this argument with his sister & she told me that when he ran away before we got married he was living at this girls house and he was in love with her.We had a very rocky marriage for the first 9 years but everythings perfect now. Everytime i try asking him he gets very upset and says to let sleeping dogs lie & that when we broke up he learnt that i saw someone for a month so he didnt trust me. But he was the one who left me for her initially...can you believe this and only now i find out all this. What do i do ...?
2006-06-13 21:12:36 · 15 answers · asked by lonelyheart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I do not think you love each other. You just need each other for the baby. A rocky marriage is probably worse for the kid than separated parents.
Make life simpler for yourselves and the kid. Life is too short to be worried about who did something wrong. The aim to to raise the kid in a loving environment; which only exists when you have a harmonious home.
Find someone to love, not to get even.
See a psychiatric to mend your current marriage. If this does not work, find a lawyer and then find a better life.
Good luck and god bless you.
2006-06-13 21:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by OnTheTreadmill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very unstable. & if he never wanted to truely be with you in the first place, then he never truely will. He doesn't want you to find out anything else, obviously. You could choose to live with what he's done in the past, or consider a seperation. since there is a child in the matter, it makes it even harder. NEVER, stay together for the childs sake. A child would rather live in a happy single parent home, than a broken one.
you could go to a marriage counsler & ask their opinion, that would probably be best in this situation.
2006-06-14 04:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to get a little extra endearments from out of you, this is the way of MALES , I know I am one, he is OK, just want you to tell him you care for him and things like that, he is just bargaining, he told you right, let the sleeping dogs lie, it was nothing, he will not live you for 9 years, if there was something in his affairs, NOBODY can make a man do things against his will.
So you are safe there, he is with you and for you. He will come back again to you. He has security with you. He will not get that from the other girl.
2006-06-14 04:22:27 · answer #3 · answered by Syed M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am slightly confused about what your story really is about here. Was it that after 9 years you saw someone for a month and you believe it was ok because he left you once before? Or you found out everything after 9 years of marriage and then you saw this other guy for a month. Click my name and send me an e-mail please, I will try to help you out.
2006-06-14 04:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was 13 years ago??? Are you happy now??? Except for what you just found out, (which is very unsettling of coarse) weigh the pros and cons, and decide for yourself. Do you feel you would be happier with or without him??? Be careful. All the best.
2006-06-14 04:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let sleeping dogs lie. If I were him, I'd also suspect that it may have been the other guy's kid.... but at this point it's just water under the bridge.
You can't do anything about your past, just make the best of your future.
2006-06-14 04:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by smokingun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very tough one, actually it's not that hard to understand your situation but the question is what do you want to your life now? are you still happy with him? do you still love him? try to analyze your situation, feelings and your will in life.
2006-06-14 04:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by wisdomseeker247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u re a very very bad woman. u broke someone's heart and life. how does it feel to make someone unhappy for life? U should be ashamed of yourself. poor your hubby
2006-06-14 04:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not that i could but i would say let it go its been that many years and seems like the sister was just trying to hurt you!
2006-06-14 04:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by lalisalaloca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His sister is just plain mean. Why would she say that to you. Anyway, he decided to be with you leave it alone.
2006-06-14 06:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋