Should I let it go on??

Question

I was seperated from my husband for about 4 months this year. I made the decision to leave him because of past issues that just never seemed to get resolved. We got back together about a month ago, but now he says that he's not sure he wants to be with me. He said he doesn't need the "drama". We have 3 children together. Do I stay and wait and see if things will get better, or should I just take it for what it is... and just say enough is enough??

We went to counseling prior to the first seperation, and he said he is not willing to go again.

He also seems very angry, if I ask him questions about anything.. he asks me why am I down his neck.

I know I'm answering my own question by saying this, but I actually feel worse this time around then when I left the first time. I know I don't deserve to be treated this way, and then sometimes I'm like.. well I did it to him the first time around... so maybe he's just having the same kind of issues. I dont know.....

Answer 1

It is hard to think about this I know. Here is a man that you spent your life with, gave three children to, and now he is ready to throw in the towel. I think both of you know it is time to end this dead-end relationship. Be strong, and realize that you will be experiencing some strong emotions over the next few months from sadness, loneliness, anger, bitterness, and eventually acceptance. Regardless of your decision, please discuss the future of your parenting with your husband. Outline a preliminary plan together before discussing the separation with your children. Let your children know that Mommy and Daddy love them very much and the divorce in no way will affect the love you have for them. Please do your best to maintain consistency in your parenting during the divorce. On the flip side, if your husband decides that he may want to stick around, you two will undoubtedly need counseling to resolve these "past issues" you mentioned. But before making that decision, you must ask yourself, is it worth it? Best wishes to you.

Answer 2

You should just say "Enough is Enough"!!! You were the better one and gave him a 2nd chance, and if he can't appreciate it then he can't appreciate you or the well being of his family. I am real sorry to hear that he would just leave so easy, especially with the 3 children. But do you honestly want to be with someone who isn't sure about his feelings for you???? You deserve a true love, so if he isn't it, then maybe it is time to say goodbye. Best of Luck in whatever you decide!!

Answer 3

You can't be with someone who's not sure he wants to be with you. I would take the time to think about it;

>Do you want to be with him why, under what conditions?

>Will he whole heartedly commit to you, under what conditions?

>What do you want of the relationship, what does he want, do you comply?

>What don't you want, can this be avioded?

> What's REALLY in the childrens best interest, a unified unfullfilling loveless relationship or a seperate, cival relationship.

> Visually even a pros and cons list may help you organise these thoughts

It is always good to get peoples opinion, a professional opinion is usaully considered and reality based, i personally would seek one in some form even if the relationship isn't in terrible trouble.

Good Luck and consider the emotional health of everyone invloved, i.e. you, kids and husband.

Answer 4

It's gonna be hard but I think you need to move on without him. Why prolong the hurt? You can hurt now or later. Sooner you move on the happier you will be. I can't express how sorry I am to hear about your situation. I just got out of a relationship where no kids were involved and i CAN'T Imagine what you will be going through. But I can say after every storm is a rainbow!!!! Good-Luck.
One last thing have you tried marriage counsling? It worked wonders for my cousins. The counsler really helped them see their defects and strong points!!

Answer 5

I think marriage is a gift. No matter what life throws at you, you will always have each other. Good or bad...you have that one person to depend on. Hopefully, you two can depend on one another. If you believe in God-pray about what to do. Divorces are messy and can leave children astray. I should know..I'm a product of one myself. My parents divorced when I was 9. So, my advice is try to stick it out. Love is always the answer. Good luck hun.

Answer 6

to me it sounds like he is just wasting your time and if this has been going on for awhile and you have children that keep getting emotionally crushed because of it, I would say enough and cut your losses and move on. For example, when you hit a rough road, do you like to keep on backing up and hitting it again?? No probably not because it will wreck something forever right, just hit it one and never go back. you and your children deserve better than this guy can give you obviously. Hope this helps. and good luck.

Answer 7

He definately isn't committing to the relationship. It is unhealthy and you will not be happy. The longer you prolong it the worse it will be. You already know this though. It's just hard to leave when you were sure it was going to work this time. Leave. You will feel better if you do it be your choice instead of having him leave you.

Answer 8

Try to resolve the issues. My mom and dad broke up and they had me and my 2 sisters..and everything was so hard for us with the separation..i took it really hard anyways and I was only 10. I mean, you guys did afterall get married cause you love each other. Try to work it. My prayers are with you..best of luck!

Answer 9

Enough IS enough! The stress in the house and the disrespect he must show you is not good for you or your kids. The longer you wait is time you could be spending being happy.

Answer 10

Say 'enough is enough' and move on. You don't need the drama either. Find someone else.