i've been married to the same man for seven yrs and am considering a divorce..He yells drinks constantly (both beer and acholhol)) and smokes other than cigs..im miserable and have tried to talk to him; but he wont listen..there is a child involved though not his, im wondering how this will affect her if i do divorce is it the right thing or not?
i've done all i can to make things work, but their not...And he says if i leave i cant take any of my things with me other than clothes..i have alot here i bought that means alot to me, do i leave it or fight for what is truly mine?
about two weeks ago he said he was pms'ing, and started yelling at me and accusing me of taking money from his money jar..He packed up and left, saying he wouldnt be back....does this often...what do i do?
2006-06-13 16:56:29 · 9 answers · asked by mkg101carp 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
From personal experience... I would say... for not only your sake, but most importantly for the sake of your child.. leave.
If he has not changed in 7 years.. he is not going to change. I recently just got back together with my husband after being seperated for about 4 months, and things are still as tense as they ever were, and I have 3 kids involved.
Your child needs to be in a safe environment, and you don't need to be dealing with his problems. I know he is your husband, but if he truly loved you.. he would do something to deal with his issues. Hope my feedback helped.
2006-06-13 17:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by emeraldeyesmiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was in the same situation with her ex, so I kinda understand what you are talking about. I am going to give you the hard stuff first. Then I'll give you the help you desire.
If you decide to stay in the marriage then you could have your daughter taken away from you by your state's child welfare system. If someone reports that your daughter is being abused and you have done nothing to stop it, then they could intervene. How important is your daughter to you? Do you consider her welfare as more important than yours? I consider my daughters' welfare as more important than mine. Next, staying and helping him is enabling him which teaches your daughter that she doesn't deserve respect. She does deserve respect, and so does her mama. Third, enabling him makes you one of the abusers. You aren't ever gonna change him by helping him to remain abusive, controlling, and a rageaholic. And again, neither you nor your daughter deserves this stigma.
So, you need to kick the SOB to the curb. I'm here to tell you that there are plenty of us guys that aren't like that. You can get all your stuff and probably keep the house too. Did you stay home with your daughter? If so, you'll keep the domicile and probably get alimony too. Does he ever hit you or threaten you? If so, call the police and press charges. In most states he'll be removed from the home for 72 hours, and in that time you could get a restraining order and begin divorce proceedings. (You could also tell the cops about his weed and get him thrown in jail for longer.) For me, I'd take a bunch of money from his coin jar. You're not stealing because in a marriage the money belongs to both of you. A person can't steal from themself. I'd do that just to get him upset, though I'm the kind of guy that just doesn't cotton to wife abusers. Also, you need to get some folks around you to give you emotional support. The court system is so cold. A friend is a necessity. Go to a local pastor if your friends won't or can't help you. Remember that you are not alone. Many other women have been through this and it will get better. Get some counseling and then find a real man, if you desire one. I hope that helps.
2006-06-14 00:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Polycarp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun If you Fell That The Realtionship Isnt Working Out Get A Divorce And If It Fells Right Do It I Have Never Been Married But Iam Only 13 And I Give Good Advice Good Luck Girl!!!!!!!!
2006-06-14 00:03:32 · answer #3 · answered by kristyisaacs2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to lawyer. Change the locks. Fight for what is yours. Coming from a family with a drunk for a Father and parents fighting all the time . Your daughter deserves better. Let her have a home with out the fighting. Its better to not have a Father than live in fear. Some one who as been there.
2006-06-14 00:08:59 · answer #4 · answered by usserydog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!! RUN!!!! ok, you already know the answer or you wouldn't be writing to complete strangers. scenario 1: child grows up with an abusive man, that's not the father and a loving mother. scenario 2: child grows up with a loving mother in a calm stable environment. you pick. say your child was in danger, would you do anything humanly possible to save your child?? HELLO!!!! YOUR CHILD IS IN DANGER!!!!! GET OUT!!!!
I'm a mother too, and I've been divorced!! RUN!!!
2006-06-14 00:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by funfroggy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce now!
Get on with your life, you and your child will be happier.
2006-06-14 00:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny while he is gone you and that baby get the hell out of there and if you ever need to talk im me
2006-06-14 00:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now is a good time to get yer stuff an go. don't look back!
2006-06-14 00:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by fooz1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change the locks
2006-06-13 23:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by meatwadswims 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋