There is this friend of mine who I really like a lot more than a friend. She is with someone who is a man and she does not know I am bisexual either. I dont know what to do because everyday I like her more than the day before. But she does not know I like women and I dont know if she likes women, or if she did would she like me?
Someone help!!!
2006-06-13 16:39:17 · 9 answers · asked by LaToyia & Sean 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
for women, bisexuality is a lot easier to swallow for society so it's a bit looked over. even i love to see two chicks get down. but when it comes to friends and whatnot you gotta tread carefully. you don't wanna scare her or nuttin.
1. don't admit your interest in her at all
2. do come out of the closet to her in casual conversation
3. allow her to express interest first
4. always make her feel comfortable around you
the whole point here is to make her feel comfortable and in control enough around you to open up to you. if she is interested in you, she will express it soon enough. at this point, i advise you to let her take the lead as far as kissing and so on. if it comes to sex, you pull away and this is when you express your feelings to her. don't do anything sexual unless she can accept having a relationship with you.
once again, the issue here is to always make her feel comfy and always let her feel in control and that it's always her choice to make. you are to never make decisions for her or get too carried away. if she says no, you simply agree and back off. don't even mention she'll be missing something. that's tacky.
don't worry about boyfriends and such. remember, it's all her own choice. (in my opinion, it's all her own problem as well)
the good thing about this process is that it will preserve the friendship in the event that she has absolutely no interest in coming to you in that way. that's always what's most important. at the same time, you never know what tomorrow will bring... heh heh heh lol.
lastly, there are some exceptions to the rule. sometimes you will be in a situation where things seem awkward. she may want to make a move but seem scared. as long as you make sure you're not being carried away, it's ok to take control. be extra careful in these situations because remember she is a friend and you don't wanna kill the friendship.
2006-06-13 17:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony Taurus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may be best to just chill with her as a friend... why chance blowing a perfectly good relationship. You could tell her kind of matter of factly by just talking about sexual preferences in general. If you become close enough, it won't matter... if she's interested after she gets to know you... then all the better. Either way, you say she's with someone else so you don't want to be a "homewrecker" at this point.
2006-06-13 23:45:14 · answer #2 · answered by 1Jazzy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm thats a tough one. Before you reveal your feelings, i think you should find out where she stands on the issue. Have a couple drinks...go to an area or a place where you're likely to see two women holding hands or something. See how she reacts...Talk to her about it.
BUT, I wouldnt interefere in her relationship... I don;t think you;d feel good about it even IF she was interested and something happened. And if you tried to interfere and she wasn't interested, she'd resent you, and you can kiss your friendship (and any future hopes) goodbye. Course, I just realized I'm basing this advice from a relationship point of view. But, unless your interested in a 3way relationship or encounter....prolly gonna have a hard time, cuz you still have to consider the man and his feelings.
2006-06-13 23:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by scorp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should mention it, like matter of factual, and see how she responds. Like, say you saw a movie with a bunch of homosexuals in it, and some of the women were bi. Then, ask her, what she thinks of bi women? If she starts freaking out, then you better keep your secret to yourself, but if she seems open to it,then maybe you'll have the opportunity to tell her your bi. Be careful though, because you may be putting your friendship with her in jeopardy here. Good luck to you.
2006-06-13 23:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jeanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe kinda put it out there non-shalantly. Like maybe say oh wow she is sexy or something of this nature. Or maybe be straight up with them. If they are truly your friends they wont care about your sexual preference.
As far as the girl that you are liking, this is tricky... it all depends on if you value your friendship more than you want to be with her. Also she has a boyfriend already. It would probably not be right to step on his toes.
2006-06-13 23:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by spitly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the same way you tell a guy you like him. You could start with while you are at the mall, look at other women and comment on how they look. Then say "I wonder if she is gay?" watch your friend to see her reaction. This will let you know if she is turned off or interested.
By the way i'm not gay, just know how to deal with people.
2006-06-13 23:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by ddrose734 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know if you do not want be in a relationship with her and you two are really close you should tell her and she should be understanding.
Now since you like her and you don't know if she is Bi, you should remain friends unless you really want to chance your heart for love.
2006-06-13 23:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by joquetta16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would get her really drunk (if you guys drink) and then ease into a relaxed conversation about girl-on-girl. Make it seem more normal and relaxed than if you werent having fun drinking.
Either that or you could bring her to strip club and give her dollars to tuck into the strippers.. see how she acts there, you know?
2006-06-13 23:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask her if she would ever do a chick. depending on what she says go from there. this way you won't lose her as a friend....
2006-06-13 23:45:16 · answer #9 · answered by T. Emopire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋