What would you do if lots of people somehow thought you were gay, when you weren't?

Question

For somereason lots of people think I am gay. They just get that impression when they meet me, or even if they work with me and stuff. Or even here. Maybe it's the colorfull hair or something. But I'm not. I don't have, and never have had a boyfriend, I don't go around kissing guys, or even hugging guys. I don't really like people in my space at all. But so many people think I'm gay.
.....I also have a problem with people thinking I'm scary, or a psycho or serial killer or something like that. But I don't go around being violent, or even mean in the least bit. I don't bother people. But almost anytime I'm out somewhere in a group of people, someone, usually a female says " You are scary. " Or that guy is creep" or something to that effect. any suggestions on how to avoid this? ( I know it shouldn't matter what other people think, but it sux not having many friends, and sux not having a job. )

Even when I dress preppylike, people still say stuff like that guy is scary. I'm not goth. sometimes I wear that kind of clothing, but not all the time, sometimes I look like a skater, the last time I got called scary, I was actually dressed in preppy sort of clothes. a button up shirt with a collar, and I think dress pants. they were black. I think I looked ok, I wouldn't think the clothes would scare people, but I wouldn't think most clothes would.

Answer 1

Take it as a complement -- they probably think that you have too much style to be straight!

Answer 2

Don't I know you? I know I don't but I know someone like you. The scary face - you can't help it sometimes. It's what would be called your "mordah" in the Russian language. Your face takes on a serious and perhaps even threatening configuration sometimes. Probably they think you might be gay if you have a gorgeous well-proportioned body. I know it's not fair, but you might try the following. First, go rent a whole lot of comedy DVDs and watch them. Loosen up a little and get yourself smiling. Ask here for recommendations if you like. (Personally I would start with "Rat Race" and "There's Something about Mary."
Next, try to wear your clothing a little loose, so you can hide your physique a little. Try not to be "fussy" about your dressing and grooming habits.
Finally, and this is the hardest part - try to cultivate a really penetrating sense of humor. It might seem like you are telling a bunch of lame jokes at first. Maybe sarcasm doesn't work for you or interest you. But eventually, you Will find your own style. People will relax around you more.

Answer 3

Don't change your clothes unless you want to. That is just silly. Instead get the hell out of the south. or where ever you are living. You can always move some place more "liberal" like New York, or California, where people judge but, for completely different reasons. Also if people think you are "creepy" perhaps you need to improve on some social skills. Stop standing in the corner staring and sharping that knife while drooling. A joke. most of the time, if someone is confident, there clothes/hair/gender preference doesn't matter, they will put others at ease. A counselor can help you to get more socialized. Self improvement is always a good thing.

Answer 4

I have a couple friends with the same problem. You need to go to a stylist and change you hair style and dress. I dont know what you where now, but without a doubt, the impression people are getting is from your outward looks. Change that, but do not do what you think it should be, ask a person in the business. Do not speak to them in detail - Only state you want a more normal masculine look; if you start explaining things to them they are less likely to suggest radical changes and will not want to hurt your feelings. Another suggestion may be work on your dictaion and tone when speaking.

Answer 5

I have never been mistaken as gay, However, I get the scary thing all the time. And I know why. It's due to the nose piercing, the tragus piercings, And the tattoo on my bald head and neck. Do I give as stinking shite what other people think? Guess!! I wear this shite for me, no one else.
If your tired of the comments, do something about it. Change yourself back to what our majority considers normal, and see if that suits you. Or you can just say ******, and live life the way you want to. I think you know where I stand...Hang in there...

Answer 6

First of all, I think people might take you more seriously if you had a normal hair color, wore normal cloths. I learned that people judge a book by its cover. Sound cliche'. Look at you as like a punk. I think that you might scare people if you lived in a small hick town. Get out of the small town, and go see the world. Become a tattoo guy, or an artist. You can be yourself and be an adult. I really think you'd be surprised if you colored your hair a normal color. That is highschool. Gosh that takes me back to koolaid days. :)

Answer 7

i just hate the way people are sometimes- it may be why i live in the middle of nowhere now. i went thru stuff like that and i have now watched my kids go thru it. all i can tell ya is- don't worry about the people on the fringes of your life. other than having to make a living- get along with them but save your real self for the people who know you. the kind of people you really want around you will see who you are and accept you for you. and also- making lifelong friends happens slow- at least it did for me- but the ones you make- will be loyal no matter what.

Answer 8

Most guys think any attractive guy is gay, they wont say; oh that guy is attractive, they say oh that guy is gay. I have that problem. cos I'm attractive. But I hang around loser's, well used to. How's your state of mind? If it's a bit wierd of off centre, people can sence that. I used to be a wierdo for a while and people would steer clear from me, But thats cos' my thought were evil, for a while. Like I said people sence that unconciously though. And they can see it in your eyes. So be a more peacefull person and try to be more happy and stop watching horror movies. And then people will not be affraid to be near you. They will sence peace and love.

Answer 9

Yeah I had that problem too...a lot of people in school thought I was a satanic lesbian. I was very quiet and kept to myself so I guess they had to make something up. I usually get a "that person is creepy" feeling when I meet a person that is expressionless, quiet, and nervous looking. Pretty much someone like me. The way I changed that was smiling more, and just relaxing.

Answer 10

An interesting dilemma. I think you need to consult with someone who can sit with you and get an idea of who you are and where you want to be in life and offer feedback. The picture of you with the blue hair is kind of a babyface pic so that doesn't help. The blue hair - yes that's a bit odd. Keep in mind blue haired men get blue haired men jobs...and they ain't doctors or lawyers, know what I'm sayin?

Answer 11

People may be tense around you because you are nervous and unsettled around them, and behave unexpectedly. This is usually a self confidence issue, and the best way to feel better about yourself is to achieve, be it new skills, friends, job, whatever is important to you, simply walk out the door tomorrow, and make it happen. Once you gain a forward momentum, and start feeling better about who you are, people will pick up on that, and their opinion of you will improve.