I've been with my boyfriend three years and we have 2 kids he hasn't asked for marriage and he isn't at all romantic I feel ashamed asking him why? But I'm frustrated about the situation what do I do?
2006-06-13 16:07:49 · 16 answers · asked by adbug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Try planning an evening with him and when things are relaxed talk to him in a non-confrontational way (ie. don't give him an ultimatum) just try to find out what kind of relationship he is looking for, if it's important to you to be married he should respect that, but you also need to be respectful of why he doesn't want to be married (if that's the case). Or he may just be happy with the way things are and assume you are too because you haven't said anything.
The bottom line is that he probably isn't going to bring it up so you should otherwise you may never get what you want. You may not even know what you want but you won't figure out if he's the person to build a life with unless you try to talk to him.
2006-06-13 16:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Beccawho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never b ashamed to ask him anything. ur n it 4 the long haul. aks! if u want romance don't wait 4 him. u know best what u want. show him how 2 b romantic and he will take ur lead. he is not a mind reader. he thinks u r fine with things the way they r. u already have a marriage, just no paper. marriage will b more of what u already have. it won't change ur frustration. only u can changer ur frustration. focus on alining ur self with what God wants, urself and ur children and EVERYTHING will fall n 2 place 4 u. now go make it happen!!!
2006-06-13 16:34:44 · answer #2 · answered by S2C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's worried about committing, but I would think if you have been together this long and have been committed enough to have children, he shouldn't have a problem with that. Just keep your kids in mind..it would probably be best for them to be raised in a family with both a mother and a father, especially if the parents are their natural ones. Maybe you could try bringing up the subject of marriage and give him reasons why you think it would be best for you and your family.
(Depending on your state, if you have been living together more than 6 months, you can be married through common law.)
2006-06-13 16:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Cavalia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be glad that this man hasn't asked for your hand in marriage. If he had, you probably would've already made a commitment you'd have been sorry for later on. Just the fact that he isn't at all romantic and that you complain about it tells me that you aren't happy with him. My advice would be to get out and find somebody else, somebody who might appreciate and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Take my word for it. You and your current b/f are not long term relationship material. Thanks.
2006-06-13 16:18:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest starting a conversation with him to see where his head is at. The last thing you want to do is pressure him or give him the slightest bit of pressure. Think about how much being married means to you and your reasons for wanting to get married, then compare it with how much being with him means to you. That should at least give you an honest approach to the situation. If you handle the conversation the right way, you might learn something about him and possibly the two of you can make movements from that point.
2006-06-13 16:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by bashyt1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't made an honest woman out of you and you feel ashamed? Talk to him about couples counseling and if he disagrees you may want to think about a seperation for not only your sake but for your children's, as well.
2006-06-13 16:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by alone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??? I don't mean to be mean, but why should he marry you?? Doesn't he get everything he wants from you now??
Males don't crave the security and warm feeling that having that ring on your left hand
gives to females. We need that 'symbol' to feel "He's mine,...and I'm his!!!"
Try to think of something he would want, but can ONLY have if you & he are legally bound!!!
Good Luck!!!!
2006-06-13 16:18:53 · answer #7 · answered by jcprn1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should confront him first. Tell him how you feel. Do you want to be with him? That is the question you need to ask yourself. Do you think you should be with him and how do you see yourself in the future. THen again, if you leave him, will you regret it? Will you be upset when he moves on? You have to ask yourself all these questions and ponder these ideas. Good luck to you!
2006-06-13 16:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men just dont get it but you should know each other enough to not me ashamed of anything the wose he could do was give you a bad answer talk to him about it
2006-06-13 16:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by lady_to_know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if love is true, does it matter if your married, if you dont really love him then i guess leave him but dont **** up the kids in the process
2006-06-13 16:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Ethernaut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋