What do you think some steps are to help restore and help the marriage and the person who is hurt and the one who has done the hurting? Do you recommend forgiveness and marriage counseling first? If not why?
2006-06-13 15:54:12 · 8 answers · asked by Lady Hewitt 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you must not hide it and be honest about it.... Be truley remoreseful and sorry for it. Resolve in your heart to never do it again... I got weak when we were first married and i went online and she found out... It almost destroyed my marriage to my wonderful wife. She gave me back the rings cried and cried and cried. She made me buy a new bed because she felt it had been defiled. I did not even imagine it would hurt her this bad but it did!!! I will never forget the pain and look on her pretty face. She laid around for weeks and did not eat or talk much. Difference was though that she did learn to forgive and love me and to work on the marriage and it made a difference. YEs i do recommend forgiveness and asking forgiveness and seeking help! This is the only way to try to work past it and to try to restore and save the marriage or it will fall apart! I really hurt her bad and trust me i never want to again so i do all i can to not even get on the pc much unless she is with me. She also bought the book the Power of a Praying wife and read it and oh boy what a powerful book. When she started praying God really convicted my heart and gripped my sould and he showed me how wrong it really was. No matter who does the cheating God still knows all and it is not hidden from Him and he will check your mind and conscience on it. God actually numbed my arm that i had used to masturbate over another person online with and it really really scared me and trust me it helped changed my way of thinking! I am not proud of what i have done but God helped save my marriage and it is better then ever today because of it! I honestly have to thank God and my loving and forgiving wife for what they have done and if it had not been For God and for a loving wife with a forgiving heart who knows where our marriage would be. We now have a wonderful and happy and Blessed marriage and i would not trade it or my wife for anything or anyone!
2006-06-14 03:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
i have already been through this ,so iam talking from experience.If you still love each other you can get through this but it will not be easy.first off you will have to tell it all.every little detail,that way nothing is left to imagine or think about later .you already know.second you must tell who it is .why ........Ill tell you why it is not fair for the other person to be standing beside the other and posibly strike up a conversation on tools for sale at the local walmart.this you cannot fix if found out later.third and last you have to realize that there are men with bigger [[[[[[[ and woman with tighter]]]]]]]] and this is usually what this starts over.stupid huh all of which you can pick up at the local adult bookstore cheaper than the divorce will cost.you can fix this .but only with open mind and trust
2006-06-13 16:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
given my own complicated situation i am probably the last to say anything here...however, my sister and her husband were having this problem, and they went through counseling which really did help they rebuild their relationship and now they have two kids and are very happy. the one thing that truly needs to be had on both parts is a desire to repair this relationship and whoever was the "victim"' here, needs to be willing to accept what has happened before there can be a chance to move forward with healing
2006-06-13 16:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by livingandloving 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I think if someone can cheat on you once, they can and probably will do it again. I know that when I cheat, its because the love is gone, so i leave, because i know i'd do it again. If i didn't love the person enough to stay faithful in the first place, then whats gonna make me stay faithful the second time around.
2006-06-13 17:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once this is done there isnt no trust by the one who had to belive that his wife or husband was dicent. there wont be trust in this no matter what is done how i know been there and divorced her over the same think this is fact. you cant never get this out of your mind in my opion this will happen again once a cheater always a cheater in my opion?
2006-06-13 19:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think I personally could trust someone who has cheated on me once before. I already have trust issues as it is so that would be really hard.
2006-06-13 15:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes u have to learn to forgive and forget so what i would say is try that and see if that works.Also you two should try to communicate more and tell one another no more lies.
2006-06-13 16:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by glamorous 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way,you should move on.My ex cheated on me and i took him back and he did it again,i say once a cheater always a cheater
2006-06-13 16:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by carol s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋