Why are doctor's so skeptical?!?

Question

I just had my second doctor's visit which consisted of a PAP Smear and Breast exam! (This is my first pregnancy)
I was seeing my regular doctor who is a man and I know him from church and I hang out with his wife and kids, and he is a great guy and i trust him, BUT... i wasn't completely comfortable with him poking and proding *down there* so i asked if I could see a female doctor instead!
I went today and I thought she was very rude to me! My husband and I were both virgins before we got married and never slept around! She was surprised that I wasn't tested for HIV and seemed skeptical that i was a virgin before getting married! She also went on about how i had lost 4 pounds and how she wanted to put me on something for nausea (Altho I have yet to throw up! I'm 8 weeks!) to help me have an appetite! And what really topped it off was she was surprised at how at my age (21) I have yet to have a PAP. I have only been married for a year and was planning on one before i got prego!

But becauase this baby was a *surprise* I hadn't had time to schedule an appointment for a PAP!
I walked out of that appointment completely upset and ready to cry!
I just want to know if I have been careless with my sexual health even tho i wasnt sexually before I was married?
Is this wierd?

P.S. - I have decided to go back to my other doctor because of personal comfort reasons!

Answer 1

You need to get a better doctor. Don't stick with this one for a second. You can even tell her what you think of her and why you are switching. She was judgmental and you don't need that right now.

Answer 2

You should have left when she was rude to you. It really is none of her business whether you have slept around. She is there to only give you a PAP smear. A lot of women lose weight during the first trimester. It's not uncommon. I understand what you are saying about the pregnancy being a surprise, mine was too. I'm 8 weeks as well. I agree with you that you should go back to your other doctor. If he was nice, then stick with him. Good Luck and Congratulations!!

Answer 3

First off, kudos on being a virgin until you got married! Well, even if you aren't sexually active you should get papsmears every year starting at sixteen. It's not just for STDs but also to see if you cyst on your ovaries or anything that affect that area. It's not such a big that you waited though and don't let that awful woman make you feel bad! I do understand why she was skeptikal. Not many people wait until marriage. She should have taken your word though. When I was pregnant with my son I knew the date of conception (my husband and I were in different towns and I only saw him for two days that month, I knew it had to be one of those days). The doctor said I was probably trying to cover up an affair! They let me go two weeks overdue (really four) and when my son was born, they finnally admitted I was right about the date of conception being off! You should also still get tested for HIV. My husband and I don't have but I always get tested. There are other ways to contract it than just sex. If it would make you more comfortable, ask for a female stand-by while having exams. Good luck and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

Answer 4

Well most girls get pap smears before that, usually every year. As for her being rude, some doctors are all professional, no bedside manors. But consider the fact that they work 16 hour shifts, and are probably sleep deprived. If you aren't comfortable with her, change doctors, it's that easy. But it's just rare that you meet someone that waited till marriage and has never been tested for HIV and all that, so i can understand why she was skeptical.

Answer 5

I dont know why doctors are so skeptical. but i wanted to let u know u are not alone i was a virgin when i got married and never tested for HIV and never had a pap but my doctor didnt care. I am 21 I had my baby at 20. I would recommend finding a doctor that u find comfortable that is very important for ur babies sake. As for putting u on medicine for nausea i wouldnt agree to that. Good luck

Answer 6

I would "shop around", so to speak, with your caregivers. I don't blame you for wanting a woman, it can be very uncomfortable having a male doing your prenatal work, and gets even more uncomfortable when you are in labor and giving birth.

This is a very vulnerable time in your life, and you must remember that YOU choose your caregiver! I would look into a midwife. For some strange reason they are not legal in all states, but they are in others and covered by many insurance companies, and they are legal in Ontario AND covered by provincial insurance plans. They are much more gentle, and will be more gentle with you throughout your pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. They will inform you a lot more about medical procedures than a doctor will. And they will refer you to a doctor if your pregnancy becomes high risk and goes out of their scope of practice.

I strongly, strongly recommend reading the book The Natural Pregnancy Book, by Aviva Jill Romm. This changed the way I thought and felt about being pregnant and preparing for birth.

You don't need hassles from your caregiver. You need support. If you don't feel comfortable with a midwife, or don't have one in your area - you always have the right to interview other doctors. It is essential that you feel comfortable being with and talking to your caregiver, and that they are patient and kind enough to give you the information and attention that you and your husband deserve.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Answer 7

poor girl! find a new ob! the only thing that woman was right about is you should have been having regular paps since you turned 13 (or when you first started your period)
and BTW its normal to lose weight your first trimester there is no reason to medicate you for morning sickness if you don't have any get a second opinion

Answer 8

Go to another doctor. I had a uncertainly about my daughters first pregancy doctor. And boy was I right It was too late in her pregnancy for her to change doctors. Now, after the birth she wishes she had listened to me I don't want to say the **** that went wrong and is still happening to my daughter even though the baby is 2 months now. CHANGE NOW. If you have a feeling somethings wrong your probably right. Change now cause no doctor will treat you later on when things are wrong.

Answer 9

Some doctors just have a stick shoved up there butts for no reason. Don't take it personally. Maybe she's not married and has no kids and was jealous that u being so young have both

Answer 10

I don't think this doctor is typical of all doctors. You may want to continue looking for a doctor with whom you are more comfortable.