I am dating a fantastic guy. I also happen to have a 14 month old daughter (not his) that he treats like his own. Problem being, he and I do not live together (he wants us to move in), we are not engaged yet (I don't have a ring, anyways), but he calls himself "daddy" to her. He does not change diapers when we are together or anything, he just does all the fun stuff. I am the one up all night with colds and teething and ferberizing and he still gets the title.
I am getting resentful and pissed with him when he tries to tell me what to do. I know he loves her, and I know he loves me, but right now he is in Iowa (for his job), and I am in Maryland, and he is telling me how to get "our" daughter to sleep through the night.
Am I over-reacting by wanting to tell him to screw off at times? Or is it wrong to be a upset that he does not have to deal with any of the messy stuff (lack of sleep, projectile vomit, early mornings), but still uses the title?
2006-06-13 15:10:28 · 6 answers · asked by Tyrtyl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My fiance and I went through the same thing... although he wasn't called "daddy"... He moved in in the last three months and since he's moved in he has been more comfortable doing the hard work... it took a while... and patience that I didn't know I had... but one night I came home and he declared, "I taught him Daddy." (as in the name)... I started crying... I didn't think my son would ever use those words... But the truth is it took me letting him do these things without questioning his methods or wether or not he was going to calm him down in the exact same way that I do... But the truth is I was hindering him from doing it because I was scared... not because he didn't want to...
and you know what the amazing thing is... he got "our" son to sleep by himself and at night Jaxson doesn't even want me... he needs Daddy to come in so that he can go back to sleep... (P.S. Daddy wants to adopt Jaxson after we're married)
So... just relax... and be patient... you may find that things will go smoother when you give him a REAL chance... I only hope you are as happy as I am... cause our children deserve this kind of happiness...
2006-06-13 15:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
most men are like this anyway. when hes back say in a fun way your show him how to change a nappy.once you move him he wouldnt have any choice to take turns in the night...unless hes working and your not then thats reasonalbe. dont forget the babys quite young some women still suffer from that post something stress. so speak to your doctor if you feel you need to. having a baby is hard at times but you found a good man thats rare to take you both on. so take it easy and when your baby has naps you take one too your feel better.
goodluck anyway. and if you do end up shouting at him and feel bad later explain why and just say you felt stressed out and need more help
2006-06-13 22:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by frostyg02uk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most biological father don't deal with the" messy stuff". Besides until you really know this guy well do you really want him to be spending so much time with your daughter? slow down and quit getting in a hurry to move in and wanting a ring. Things will happen in do time, you need to think of whats best for your daughter, right now she needs you. and besides if your already sick of his behavior how do you think its going to be when you move in together.WORSE!
2006-06-13 22:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by angelw/brkwingcrookedhalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING ALL OF THE HARD STUFF AND YOU ARE GETTING FRUSTRATED BECAUSE HE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO DO IT LIKE HE COULD DO IT BETTER. THAT IS A TOTAL NORMAL REACTION FOR YOU TO HAVE TOWARD HIM. MEN JUST DO NT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO RAISE KIDS AND THEY THINK BECAUSE YOU ARE AT HOME WITH YOUR CHILD YOU ARE RELAXING WATCHING SOAPS AND EATING BON BONS ALL DAY.
2006-06-13 22:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK YOU ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION.
THESE ARE YOUR OWN FEELINGS.
WHO GAVE HIM THE TITLE OF DADDY?
THE TITLE SHOULD BE YOUR DECISION--DO NOT CONFUSE YOUR DAUGHTER.
DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER-UNTIL YOU HAVE RESOLVED THESE ISSUES FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR DAUGHTER.
EVERYTHING YOU DO AFFECTS HER--FOREVER.
2006-06-13 22:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by linda2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be mad too. Its not your responsibility to raise someone elses child.
2006-06-13 22:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by churppy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋