I am passed the reason we got together and think we don't have anything in common anymore. She smokes and NOW she says she won't quit. I have breathing problems (fire related). There are others involved, her son and other family members. My 10 yr old son wants me to break it off.
2006-06-13 13:11:30 · 13 answers · asked by techlloyds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just have to be honest with her about how you are feeling. Let her know that you don't think you are right for eachother and you don't want to get married and make a mistake. Being honest is the best way to go.
2006-06-13 13:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you break it off? As gently as possible. It would be easiest if you just saw her less and less, and wait for her to say something. Frankly, smoking is a deal breaker for many. And you can tell her so. You could also indicate that you doubt that she will quit, and frankly that is just more than you wish to have to deal with in the future. No need to be heartless, but you can explain what YOU need and what YOU want, without accusing her of anything. She cannot argue with what your needs are. And your conclusion that you see in the long run, you relationship will disintegrate. It's always tuff to break up, but it is easier than staying is a relationship that no longer meets your needs -- and you may find that you no longer meet hers. Good luck....
2006-06-13 20:46:41 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want to break it off it is better to do that than wait till you are married to decide that it is not working. Smoking is not healthy for your financee and not healthy for your son and you. I have to think, though, that if she can't take care of herself, and doesn't want to be the best for herself, what makes you think she will change after you are married? The answer is she won't. This is a hard choice, I wish you and your son luck.
2006-06-13 20:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by sasha25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't have asked her to marry you in the first place...but, since you did, smoking is not a good reason to solely base this decision...if you feel that the two of you have absolutely nothing in common, then sit her down and tell her you made a mistake...tell her that no one is happy with this relationship and you feel like you two should separate...
2006-06-13 20:18:03 · answer #4 · answered by nikki_mh02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then break it off. Why do you people on yahoo anwers to tell you to do so. You sound like you want to break it off and your son wants you to break it off. Yet you are still in this relationship? Just do it already.
2006-06-13 20:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is about changing for someone you love and listening. If she is not willing to change for your preference and your health how worthy is she to marry. Beside your son does not like her and that is blood just talk and then decide
2006-06-13 20:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about "I'm leaving you, we're through, I don't want to be with you anymore." Obviously, she doesn't care about you if she refuses to quit smoking even though she knows it adversly affects your health. Geeez, ditch the loser already.
2006-06-13 20:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you son is right especially for your health reasons if not for anything else. if she is not going to be considerate enough to not do this because of your health then i say get out now...
2006-06-13 20:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could be like my ex-fiance and empty out the joint checking account and jump in bed with a fat pycho.
2006-06-13 20:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by mcsteve34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to hurt no matter how you say it. Simply say it as nicely as possible. Tell her your reasons and try to remian friends.
2006-06-13 20:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋