He thinks we have more money and I had a few outstanding bills to pay. I am in charge of paying the bills and that's what I did but all he sees is we are suppose to have this much money in here and where did the rest of it go? I tell him I paid bills with it and he still seems mad. I don't go shopping for extras or anything, I just spend it on bill, food and gasoline for the vehicles. I am so stressed I am sick to my stomach with worry.
2006-06-13 12:49:02 · 11 answers · asked by summertime 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
first off, be honest with him. the more you keep trying to hide this from your husband, the more excuses and trails you'll have to cover. however you paid for the bills they will leave a paper trail somewhere and if this keeps up, eventually your husband will follow that trail and then you'll have to answer for the shady activity. Since you only used it to pay for essentials like food and gas, then it shouldn't be that big a concern. whatever the outstanding bills were then that might produce a problem. Trust me, just suck it up and let him know about the bills and such and just deal with it then. Better now than several months down the road and you slip up on how you spent x amount of dollars on something. Just suck it up and ride it out. the longer the paper trail you leave the hotter the flame will be when it catches up to you.
2006-06-13 12:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him sit down with you and go over each bill. He may not realize the exact amount of the cable bill, or that you're trying to pay a bit extra to that credit card.
Most importantly, DON'T HIDE IT. Getting hit for $30 fees when you overdraw your checking account is far worse than being honest with him. If he trusts you enough to let you handle the bills then he should understand exactly what that entails. If he wants no part of managing your joint money, then he needs to trust you more. Food and gas are very expensive. Electricity is going through the roof, and it costs a lot to live anywhere. Show him the checking register if you must. Show him the statements.
Once he realizes where the money went, you'll be a lot better off.
2006-06-13 20:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Labwench 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just show him where the money went...the bills, the food, and gas...
and if he continues to become upset about it, let him start paying the bills for awhile and he will begin to realize how much things like food,gas and bills actually cost. Often times, when only one spouse
handles the financial aspect of the marriage, the other spouse doesn't have a realistic outlook on how much things are costing. The issue that needs to be addressed here, I think, is not preventing him from knowing about the money spent, but helping him to come to terms realistically with the cost of living.
2006-06-13 20:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to begin, you should know that financial issues are the leading cause of divorce in the US, followed closely by lack of communication.
You and your husband need to sit down and go over the finances together. I cannot stress enough just how important it is to make sure that you are BOTH on the same page here.
First, make a spreadsheet of all your monthly expenses...what they are for, how much they are, when they are do. This will help illustrate to both you and your husband where and when your money is spent and will make sure that you each have a full understanding of what funds are available when.
Second, make sure you keep him informed. Your financials concern BOTH of you, so it's not really fair to keep one party in the dark. Openly communicating your weekly / monthly budget will go a long way to alleviating feelings of anger and hostility about the lack of knowledge and control.
The initial discussion may be heated...but don't get into a screaming match. If it starts to get out of control, take some time out to calm down, then come back to it later. It's not something that will go away, and will only get worse the longer you put it off.
Third, if necessary, there are professionals that can help, so you may consider consulting one.
I know it's stressful, and I wish you the best of luck...but the bottom line is that its something that both of you need to do together. You, your marriage, and your family (if you have children) are worth it.
2006-06-13 20:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by visiworks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this.
Sit down and work out exactly what you have coming in and what you need to spend - rent, food, travelling, entertainment, etc.
Then work out what you can save on. And remember to cut down on consumption of gas and electric too - it might not seem much, but turning things off when you're not using them will add up pretty quickly.
There's loads of things that will eat up your bills: Don't leave the PC running all day; switch the TV off at night, don't leave it in standby; turn the central heating and hot water down a few degrees, and run it for less time. Do you really need two cars? If they're big, get a smaller one. And so on.
Good luck!
2006-06-13 20:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by Loz T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice guy you're married to... :(
Is there some reason he doesn't do the bills since he's so concerned about it? (My guess is that he doesn't pay things on time, right?)
Anyway, there is nothing you can do but be honest then tell him to pi$$ off when he starts in.
I don't understand couples that fight over stupid stuff like that. My parents were, are and always will be that way. My Dad just likes to hear himself complain because gosh forbid he just does things himself that he doesn't like the way my mother does it.
Fortunately I learned from their mistakes and have a good healthy marriage where he has his duties and I have mine and we don't complain about how the other does their stuff unless we plan to start doing it ourselves.
Anyway. Good luck - you're going to need it. And, if you find yourself rid of him and looking for a new one - choose wisely next time. Or (not that I am a proponent of divorce) you can be like my mother is now and be late in life, unable to support yourself and still complaining about how terrible he treats you after 35 years of marriage and no way out.
2006-06-13 20:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes not pissed of at you hes pissed off he has no money left after paying all them i wouldnt take it personaly he probably knows what it takes to his family aflote anyway dont get down that does no good just save were you can and keep on trucking
2006-06-13 20:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him the checkbook, you got nothing to hide anyway, let him take care of paying bills then he'll know the truth
2006-06-13 21:13:15 · answer #8 · answered by jean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
www.daveramsey.com
your marriage will suffer if you cant be honest with each other about the money
sit down and work out a budget
listen to Dave Ramsey
2006-06-13 19:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by equityfirstproperties 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey I believe you spend most of your money on gas....it is crazy has your husband see the prices?
2006-06-13 19:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by USuck79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋