What is a mother of a small infant supposed to do when the baby is sleep or contented?

Question

I see a LOT of holier-than-thou parents in real life, and elsewhere, preach about all this QT one is supposed to have with one whose attention span rivals a forest creature. I'm asking, if the child is in no obvious distress and is happy, or resting, should the parent fix a sandwich for his or herself if they are hungry? Is it cool to do a few loads of laundry, or maybe even take out some garbage or check your e-mail if baby is on her mat playing with blocks? Or, is this child abuse and neglect? Should the parent just fix their presence before the child with insta-bond and leave only to put baby in their crib for bedtime/naps? If so, where do they sell IV's for parents and are there new robots issued out to parents at the hospital that cook, take out trash, do the wash, and etc? Just wondering...I never got my issue or my IV (still looking), and I feel like a bad parent because she gets stuck (gasp) watching TV sometimes while I throw a grilled cheeze together for myself.

Answer 1

Aw hon sounds like you are terrified of being misjudged, which only tells me that you are probably a darn fantastic mom! Look, children will always get into trouble, no matter what you do or how close you are. Those quiet moments are gold, so do what you must. If the child is sleeping, use a room monitor. If they're involved with their favorite toy, keep them in plain sight. No manuals are available, but common sense is a must. Not to worry. God gave you your share when he made you!

Answer 2

LOL, I wish someone would have issued me a robot to help with housework!!!! An iv would be nice too, as the mother of four, five if you include my husband, I am always the last to eat and by that time its time to do the others dishes!!! You go mom, have your sandwich, do some laundry, I would personally grad a power nap when baby is napping, or read a chapter in a book, relax and enjoy, you are not neglecting nor abusing your babe, by doing something for yourself or (gasp) allowing her to watch TV while you grab a bite!! And if you ever get your robot or IV will you let me know, especially the robot, I need help with house work!!!!

Answer 3

You have to do what you feel is right. If your child is resting in a safe place and you have things you need to do - then by all means - do it. I am the mother of a 2 1/2 year old and 14 month old twins - trust me - if I stayed by them every second of the day my - I would never be able to take a shower - make dinner - or the million other things that need to be done in a day. And until they make a robot like you described - then I'm up a creak without a paddle. Parenting is not an easy task - but it's well worth it!

Answer 4

LOL. A little frustrated are you? Relax. It is perfectly fine while baby is content that you do thing necessary to run your home and keep yourself running. The main thing you need to do is make sure that the child is in a safe place - possibly keeping a baby monitor in the room and the receiver with you if you have to be in a different location. If the child is mobile, invest in an indoor play yard or a nice portable playpen. Put on sesame street - it isn't a bad thing!

It is actually better for a child to not be coddled 24/7 - I personally become extremely frustrated with parents who pick up a child every time they fuss.

If your child is happy, then you are doing a great job!!

Answer 5

If the child is asleep or isn't fussing, then by all means do something else! Infants take up so much time, take every little bit of free time you can. It isn't neglict. Eat something, do some laundry, shower. Just make sure she is in a safe place. I'm sure some responses will be negative because she *gasp* sits in front of the TV for a short bit (I would just suggest something wholesome like PBS Sprout, or PBS, or a Little Einestine video). Just don't rely on it as your primary source of entertainment.
Many mothers/parents feel like every moment thier child is awake should be devoted to the child. For sanity's sake, take care of yourself too. I think that allowing your child, even an infant be for a little bit (as long as they are OK) fosters independence in your child. And yes, it is OK to, *gasp* let them cry a little if you are stuck in the middle of something, like cooking - just don't let it get excessive. And it is also OK to hold your baby just because you want to (I used to get told I was "spoiling" my children because of this - a lot of bunk). Use good judgement - bottom line.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with letting your baby alone if she is content. Just make sure you dont ignore her. My baby is very calm and doesnt mind laying on the floor by herself for a while. But babies like this run the risk of being ignored because since they dont cry most parents think they dont need attention. Go ahead and make yourself something to eat or do some housework. But come back every so often and spend a couple minutes with your baby so she knows you are there.

Answer 7

You are not doing anything wrong.Children need to learn to entertain themselves and become independent.You can interact with the child when you change a diaper or bathe the child and here and there whenever you can.It's quality that counts.What about children who are in daycare all day and turn out just fine or even better than others.As long as the child is not ignored or left crying for long periods of time they'll be fine.You sound like you know what you are doing.

Answer 8

Quality time does not mean every minute of the day that would be quantity time .. and well I know I don't have enough of that. I say get the laundry done do what you have to do to take care of yourself. If you spend EVERY minute of EVERY day with your child one on one then you are giving them much "quality" time because you aren't taking care of yourself and or the things that have to get done to help you be a great mom. I really don't know of anyone that would say this isn't okay unless their houses look like the city dump. Now there are people that will say sticking your kid in front of an electronic babysitter so that you can get on yahoo answers or watch TV yourself is bad .. me included but I do let me kids watch 20 minutes in the morning so I can take a shower - because in my house a stinky mom is an unhappy mom.

It's also very good for your child to learn to play on their own, they don't need us on them 24/7 .. I think my son would tell me to get away if I did that..

Enjoy your child and your time.

Answer 9

its not a bad thing at all. when my son is sleeping i use that time to do the house work like clean the kitchen,mop the floors.
my son is 6 months old and sleep all through the night so when he is asleep during the day i dont use that time to rest because i get plenty of it.
i dont thin k it is bad parenting at all because no matter how much work i have to do i still check up on him every 10 min or so.
i would never take him with me to make a sandwhich or something because i find the kitchen to be an unsafe area for babies.sometimes i just put him in the walker and start cleaning, he loves playing with his toys on the walker, he walk anwhere in it yet so i have no worries about him getting lost.

Answer 10

No it's not abuse to do things around the house, or even take a break to breathe if the baby is content. You don't need to be all over the baby 24/7 anyways...that just makes spoiled babies who are harder to deal with later anyways. You still have to eat and things around the house still have to get done. It would be neglect if you never did ANYTHING with the baby and you were putting yourself always!