I got alot of good responses, now I know, he doesn't want to! THat ring was a part of his plan to get me back, I took someone advise on here and asked him calmly about it, and he said it is just a piece of f****** paper and means nothing, why should we go spend 100.00 in a court to get married, and dont I know that it cost thousands to get a divorce. Well, that did in fact turn into a big fight. HE said that marriages should costs thousands, so that people would actually think about it first. I got really angry and said than you should have never asked me. What did I do wrong and is there a chance in H E L L we will ever tie the knot?
2006-06-13 12:11:21 · 11 answers · asked by Wonderinggirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His parent never been through divorce, infact they have been together since the "first time" and got married.
2006-06-13 12:19:00 · update #1
marriage is really a symbolic bond between two people. i dont think the piece of paper is it. it combines two people spiritually together. if he doesnt understand that u love him enough to take a chance of getting married, i dont think u should get married. some relationships just dont progress that far
2006-06-13 12:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I wonder if I was the one who had advised you to talk to him. (?) I cannot say whether or not you two will marry, because I give advice - I am not an 8-ball. BUT, "the outlook is not good." I am sorry for you. It sounds like you both view marriage differently. My advice to you is try to find out WHY he sees it as only a piece of paper. Then if you can, try showing him that it is more than that so he might change his outlook on it. Marriage is not meaningless. There is so much that binds you both once it is legally on paper, including your rights to be at his side in an emergency or in life-threatening situations. And if he's concerned with the cost of divorce before he's said 'I DO' at a wedding, he may NEVER want the same things you want. You may need to look elsewhere for a husband. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
2006-06-13 19:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you even have to ask why he won't marry you, then you should be outta there. Marriage is indeed a union between 2 people, 2 hearts, 2 bodies & 2 souls that become one, together. Marriage is a lot more than a piece of paper but that piece of paper offers protection in the event of illness or death of the other. Let's say, marriage never takes place, a home was purchased in just his name but you helped maintain it financially, he gets deathly sick, so now since no marriage has taken place, his family makes his medical decissions instead of you, then lets say he dies, guess who gets the house you helped pay for?? Not you honey, his family. Then lets say y'all have kid's together, he dies, where does that leave you & the kid's? Sure, the kid's will collect social security but you won't since your not married. There are so many ways that "piece of paper" protects BOTH of you!!
It sounds more like he's not ready for that kind of commitment, which is fine, don't force him. You'd only wanna marry someone that wants to marry you. Maybe he's afraid of being tied down, does he have a lot of single buddies??
If my man did not wanna marry me & that's what I was looking to do at that point in the relationship, I guess I'd give him my reasons why I wanted it and if he did not see things my way within a reasonable amount of time, I'd move on and find someone that wanted what I wanted outta life.
Good luck figuring this one out!! ;-)
2006-06-13 20:57:54 · answer #3 · answered by maryannmccarthy2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men have commitment issues such as this. There are alot of questions that this issue brings up. Is your relationship otherwise strong? Are you happy? How does he treat you? Many times when the man does not want to fully commit himself to a woman it is a symptom of an even bigger problem. If he truly does adore you, than you might want to see a counselor or your pastor. If not, I'd say lose him. The worst you can do is settle for what you don't want. If you want marriage, then you desere it...and you deserve to be with someone who feels you're worthy enough to marry.
2006-06-13 19:22:15 · answer #4 · answered by danielle_la_flor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he does not want to let go of his "single hood" he is still considered single. So as long as he is not married he doesn;t feel commited If you been together for a while then I would reconsider this. I mean if it is just a piece of paper then it doens;t mean anythign to him anyway....go find a winner
2006-06-13 19:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's so anti-marriage, are you sure you'd want to marry him? It sounds like he's already written off your marriage, even before it started. He might try and sabotage the marriage just to prove that he was right (either conciously or unconciously).
You probably need to find out WHY he feels so strongly about it. Did he have to deal with his parent's divorce?
2006-06-13 19:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a hard spot you are in, my heart goes out to you. I would want to be with someone that was sure that he wanted to be with me. I know that you are worth marring and if doesn't want that, then find some who does. The "one" is not reality, we have lots of "ones" and I bet if you get out there you can find one! Good luck and keep that cute chin up!
2006-06-13 20:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by sasha25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmly point out..its NOT just apiece of paper....it's the ultimate commitment to another person (besides parenthood) and if he doesn't think he can commit to you in that way, you're outta there!
2006-06-13 19:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by notjunecleaver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is never gonna ask. Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free. Thats as simple as that is. Why is gonna marry you when he has everything he wants.
2006-06-13 19:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetcheeks1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, hes an assssssssshhhhhhollllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
2006-06-13 19:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by ♫♪♥PUSSaY FART♫♪♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋