My fiancee has an ex-wife that calls yelling and screaming constantly. Everytime we pick up or drop off his two kids there is confrontation. It's embarrassing and frustrating. I just sit there and don't say a word. He usually feeds into her drama and gets upset. Am I wrong to tell him to ignore her and hang up the phone when she is acting like this? I have never been in a situation like this and I know I don't want to live the rest of my life dealing with this DRAMA!!!!
2006-06-13 12:01:06 · 8 answers · asked by wildarts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Drop him and move along, he is still to involved with this one, and you can't take second place here. So just dump him, and do the right thing. You aren't obliged to take on his baggage and you shouldn't. Good luck! :)
2006-06-13 12:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by fromdheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man. Yes definitely tell him to hang up on her, and not get involved with the drama. How awful for you to be in this situation. Is there any possible way the two of you will be able to move away from her and all her drama eventually? Otherwise, she looks to be the type that will always have herself, up in your business. Maybe you should start taking her phone calls instead. That way when she gets out of hand, you know you can hang up the phone, as well as being the one to pick up the kids? She might likely know she can't push your buttons the way she can his, {since they've obviously been into this sort of drama probably their whole married life...also why their not together anymore or partly, I'm guessing?}. That would eliminate her from his life entirely, and maybe he can get some peace of mind eventually without having to deal with her tantrums. Seriously though, I'd be talking to him about moving...far far away from her. Otherwise, I'd re-think the marriage entirely. You are NOT going to want to deal with this woman the rest of your married life.
2006-06-13 12:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, still dealing with it. The only difference is that my BF's ex is in UT and we are in OR. The drama is in e-mails, calls, anything you can imagine. He's a very sensitive guy who usually puts up with her crap. It's hard for me to listen to the conversations they have on the phone. I read the emails because he wants me to understand his situation. The hardest part for me and for him is that he has no contact with his kids because of her.
Anyway, I've learned to just be supportive of him. You have to understand that he may just put of with her so he can see his kids. It's obvious that he wants to be a part of their lives and that's important too. Don't think about how it makes you feel, think about how it makes him feel.
As for hanging up the phone... it also feeds the drama. She can call back and then be even worse. It also makes her feel like she won the battle and can get away with it again.
Guess it's obvious why he divorced her, huh? :)
2006-06-13 12:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by obg73 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok listen the drama she's causing in your life is going to continue if you keep on doing the same thing dont act jelouse infront of her or him just tell him that you dont want to live the rest of your life with a person screaming in the phone. Tell him to get another phone so that everytime you know your old phone rings its her.
love Venus (goodluck)
If you need more help you could e-mail me at venuses_help@yahoo.com
2006-06-13 15:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Venus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Landmark Forum. Big help for me in my life. It will take all drama out.
2006-06-13 14:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by Gonzalo P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he leave her for you? If so, her "drama" is understandable, and you and him deserve it.
If not, try not to get involved and help the fiance develop strategies to deal with it.
2006-06-13 15:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Driver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know others in this situation and there is no answer. but if you show her it bothers you it gets worse. you aer going to have to go to extremes and either move a thousand miles away or make her your friend.
2006-06-13 12:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by get_unlost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go with him, or bust her in the nose
2006-06-13 13:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋