English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

Parents don't live in the same state and visitation might be difficult, but parents are good friends.

2006-06-13 11:42:36 · 12 answers · asked by obg73 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

No one knows about their relationships with their parents better than the kids, so who better to decide? I'd say go with the kids. If the parents are good friends, that's wonderful. They can accommodate extra visits, or even switch for a while, IF THE CHILD ASKS FOR THAT. It should be all about the child,not the parents. They've messed up the kids life enough as it is.

2006-06-13 11:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1 0

The question should never have been presented to a 9 year old. I'd say a teenager is an appropriate age for that decision. If you ARE friends, than surely both parents can decide what is best for the children at this age and how best to share time with them. Children at that age aren't stupid of course.....BUT they will choose the parent they want to live with based on criteria that most adults don't think are important. Base your decision on who can take better care of them, who has more time to spend with them, who is the more patient, well rounded parent, who is more likely to make decisions for the children that BOTH parents would approve of. A 9 year old(or a 13 year old for that matter) is most likely to choose the parent who is more fun, who lets them get their way more often, who can buy them more stuff. They don't' do it maliciously, it's just natural behavior for their age. Do you let your children eat whatever they want all day long or go out when or wherever they want? No.....so why would they be old enough to choose wisely where to live? If the decision you make is truly disruptive to the children after some time, you can change it later on.

2006-06-13 12:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0 0

I don't think a child of 9 is able to make a decision on their own. Usually they are coerced by the other parent to live with them. Both you and your ex should talk about whats fair and go to therapy. There is no such thing a parents being good friends after a divorce!

2006-06-13 11:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Think about whats best for the child, nine is pretty young and seeing a future might be a little sketchy at that age, on the other hand my son decided to live with me when he was seven and never looked back. He could see that his mom was an idiot even at that age. Just try to be fair.

2006-06-13 11:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by aspecialfred 4 · 1 0

Speaking from experience. No I don't think it is good, because at that age, they're going to go with the one who is m ore fun and who spoils them. What kids need more now than ever is a parent who pays attention, sets rules and disciplines and will try to explain consequences.

2006-06-13 11:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Do what you feel in your heart... Talk to a lawyer and see what they say too. I really do not know ... What about joint custody or half and half.... Like school time with one and summer and major holidays like Christmas and Easter with the other. Just a suggestion but might be a good idea.

2006-06-13 11:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

trust me your 9yr old knows a lot more than you think so yes they should decide on who they want to live with. and if the two of you are such great friends is it possible maybe for one of you to move to the other state until they child leaves to go to school?

2006-06-13 11:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by dari98dae99 3 · 1 0

No I think that they should live with the more stable parent and the one that will have time to help them with their homework,put them to bed,and cook them a meal.

2006-06-13 11:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by lilyellowpimp 2 · 0 0

I think it should be there child choice not the parents choice. It's not right not to give a child the choice.

2006-06-13 11:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by ncbadazz5704 1 · 0 0

YES
because there is some reason why they want to live with the other parent.
are you scared your going to loss you child support check ?

2006-06-13 13:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by glennmettlen 2 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers