how I keep the relationship alive? Miss that new relationship feeling,butterfly feeling and the sex.?

Answer 1

My husband and I have established a "date night" (every other Saturday). We take turns planning the night, but we keep it a secret. We've also just started "bowling night" and "movie night" (we alternate these on Wednesdays). It definitely gives us something to look forward to.

There's a book called "101 Nights of Great Sex" written by Laura Corn. Once a month we each pick a sealed page, tear it out of the book, and keep it a secret. We try to follow the scenario throughout the week and we surprise each other. Some of them are kind of raunchy, but you don't have to follow them exactly (we don't). Either way, we always fun!!!

Give it a try!!!

Answer 2

You keep it alive by realizing that those feelings are not the most important part of a relationship. Those feelings are based upon a chemical reaction that occurs in your body and that chemical reaction always fades over time and there is nothing you can do to stop it. A real lasting relationship though is about so much more. It doesn't mean you can't have love, passion, and great sex but you can't keep comparing those feelings to what you have when you are first with someone because they will never be the same. You keep the relationship alive by understanding these facts and then remembering to continue not to take the simple things for granted about each other and also doing all the small things such as hugging, kissing, and teasing that you did when you first met each other. As for the sex its self, it is sounds like it is important for you to be with someone who is willing to explore all the possibilities with you over the long run. There are so many things to try and do and experience that if you are open to them it will never get old.

Answer 3

That "new" feeling isn't a relationship. If it was a relationship, then it wouldn't be new anymore; relationships take time and require personal change. The only to get the thrill of having a new lover is to have a new lover. That's why adultery is and always will be so much more exciting than marital sex.

In time, intimacy and trust replace excitement. It becomes a relationship because both people put effort into building it into a relationship, the kind of effort it takes to negotiate and compromise, to make changes in yourself.

Some people prefer the thrill and excitement of new love to the effort of trust and intimacy. They say that all that effort isn't worth it, that they like stuff to "just happen all by itself" and if they have to "work at it" then it isn't meant to be. I guess they know what is right for them, just like I know what is right for me.

But they don't really have a relationship, they're just spending a lot of time with someone.

Answer 4

I hate to disappoint you, but the intense butterfly feeling you're referring to is typically only part of the "getting to know you" phase of a new relationship. The exhilaration that comes from experiencing something new for the first time is impossible to capture in a bottle & retain for a lifetime.

Does that mean you're doomed in relationships? Of course not, but as you grow into the relationship (assuming it's a healthy one) that need for fleeting butterflies will be replace with a contentment that only a stable & balanced relationship can provide. The need for instant gratification will be lost in favor of the enduring comfort of knowing that your mate is truly in love with you.

Sex will also transform into something that goes beyond the physical into something almost metaphysical. The coupling of all these intense & deep emotions with your love & caring for your mate will take sex to a level you never knew existed. TRUST ME...

It's sort of the same theory that a beautiful soul makes a person more beautiful on the outside. Most enduring loving relationships are about emotion/thought as much as they are about the tangible. Seriously...if you haven't experienced that yet, then you just haven't met THE ONE yet :)

Answer 5

you've gotta work at it. What did u do when you first met? you couldn't keep your hands off each other right? you kept thinking about what surprises, gifts, places to go, and if you couldn't think of any new and exciting places or things to do, you'd ask your friends. So to get the spark back into your relationship, just remember one thing - the relationship is not about you, its about what you do for your significant other. Experiment, be spontaneous.

Answer 6

Talk to your partner. Set up romantic getaways then suprise one another. Be adventureous, try new sex positions, role playing, just sit together and kiss, do not engage in sex, yet wait for the night or the next morning. You are only limited by your shyness or inability to be creative. Open your mind to new ways to love and be loved. Be sure to let him in on it too

Answer 7

That true feeling usually comes with a new experience. Like when I make-out with a woman for the first time. Make out with someone new if that is your thing. Otherwise try new things with your partner.

Answer 8

What has changed? Take your special someone out on an old fashioned date, or create a romantic atmosphere at home.

Answer 9

me too
after 10 years the honeymoon went down hill
but still trying at 18 years

Answer 10

Put the other person first, think what makes them happy. This is what people do in the newness of it, then stop when things progress, thats what makes it die.