How do you find your way back when a child dies?

Answer 1

Unfortunately this is one of life's cruelest tricks. For me, I lost a child before it was born and that was hard enough. In the end I believe you find your way back the same way that you would from any other death of someone you love. It is the belief that you owe it to them to carry on the living life to the fullest because they can't. They would want you to be happy and not destroy your life just because theirs is over. To do so is to dishonor their memory and their love for you.

Answer 2

I lost my daughter 1 month before she was 3 in a house fire.

Took me about 3 years to bounce back from it. Also lost my marriage due to some emotinal sepreration between both of us.

You never get over it and it's been 7 years for me.

I got so tired of people sorry about your lose etc. Or my favorite I have no idea what you must be going through, I couldn't imagine. I realize people try to help, but For me just sitting there in silence was best.

Do I blame God for it? NO I do not. What got me through was knowing she is in a better place, and she will never suffer the things this cruel world has to put one through.

To be honest I never knew what love was until her. I miss the days I come home and her tripping over herself with arms raised yelling Daddy Daddy Daddy. I have never felt that experience and Don't think I ever will. I am currently with a woman who can not concived a child, and 2 years ago I thought I was a father again to only be shocked as the baby that came out was black, and I am white.

You will never get over it, but I promise you , you will laugh and smile again, it's all how you look at it. you can either dwell on it, or simply say she/he is in a better place , and God has his reasons and never ask why, just accept it.

May you find peace it will come, but you will always feel like a part of you is missing.

Answer 3

I have a five month old son...the single most beloved of my life. I would do absolutly anything for him in his best interest. I find myself in tears over the thought of loosing him to death, abuse, or kidnapping. Prayer, a lot of time spent with a memory box or photo album, and support from anyone is the only way I believe to get through the rough times. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be angry, and it is okay to laugh out loud at some of your most fondest memories. We don't understand it and we don't like it, but everything, as you have probably been told before...happens for a reason. Just hang in there because it will become peaceful again.

To diva_style reply: I have never read such a disgusting, selfish idiotic comment in my life. Your reply lacks intelligence, empathy, and heart. You are a lost person and your evil mindset does not belong here. I truly feel you owe the person an apology.

Answer 4

The only way I know is to "get out of yourself". While my child did not die he was taken out of our home for 3 years due to circumstances I won't go into. He might as well have died. We cried, we asked ourselves what could we have done differently and went over events over and over again. We had no answers. It is likely that you have no answers although you may have the reason for the death. That doesn't help. My wife and I found that the only way we could get over this was to force ourselves to invest in other people's lives. In our case we did this through church in helping in childrens' church and Sunday school and babysitting for others when they needed time or a night out and other things like that. Did it remove the hurt? No. Did it help to refocus our lives? Yes. Gradually, the hurt and pain diminished. We still hurt after 10 years but we are living a happy fulfilled life again. We know the pain of the loss cannot be filled but we have chosen to live in the present not in the past. We wish you the best in overcoming such a tragic loss.

Answer 5

I am so sorry about your lost and I seriously can not help you because I have never been in this type of situation and all I can say is I'm very sorry for your lost but me have losing other people how where close to me it just took time cause nothing else can help when you lose a loved one nothing but time.

Answer 6

Speaking from experience, with the love and support of your family and friends, and a good long time. Involve yourself with things that take your mind off of this and put it on other things....work is very helpful....you will learn to never forget it, but to push it to the back of your mind for that period of time, and in due time, it will get easier. You have to work at it though.

Answer 7

It is very difficult.
Try going to counseling classes with other parents who has lost a child.
If you are a church goer, your pastor can help you and direct you to where classes are being held.
It is ok to hold on to your memories, but you must move on.
There is a grieving process that we need . Grieving is normal.
I will hold you in my prayers.

Answer 8

I wish I knew how. It happens though, even when it seems like you're not moving forward, you are, in very tiny steps. It's been four years for me. It seems like yesterday. We never ever get past it. We hold the memories in our broken hearts forever.

Answer 9

YOU PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD,AND KNOW THAT ITS ALL IN HIS CONTROL,AND KNOW THAT THE CHILD IS IN THE HAND OF THE ALMIGHTY,SAFE WITH NO PAIN OR SORROW,AND REMEMBER THAT HE KNOWS WHATS BEST....

Answer 10

God help me, I don't know. I can't imagine doing it. It's every parents nightmare.