What's the best way about giving advice to a friend that's a parent when you have no children?

Question

I have a friend who has two children, ages 2 and 3. I love these kids like family, they are adorable, but I hate the way they act 90% of the time. My friend basically raises them on her own, and I feel is doing a poor job.

Both children whine, hit, talk back, have no discipline, and destroy and disrespect my apartment and things whenever they're around. If you tell them no, they say "shutup" or hit me or they're mom. When they're whining for something they aren't going to get, the mom always says "just a minute" instead of "no" because she doesn't want to deal with the crying.

She constantly has them in their car seats, feeds them McDonald's every day, and doesn't put them to bed until 11 or later. And when she finally does, she turns on Adult Swim on cartoon network. I love that program, but I'm not 3 years old. The content and language are far more adult oriented.

I've made suggestions nicely, but it doesn't work. What can I do without losing my sanity and a friend?

Answer 1

set ground rules for YOUR home. if she can't deal with it, they don't need to come over.

my own step daughter isn't allowed at my home because she doesn't follow my house rules. she's 22 years old. her 2 and 4 year old can come over whenever they want.

Answer 2

I do not get 'indignant' in keeping with se, nevertheless it does get on my nerves if the recommendation is ridiculous or harmful or the individual quite has no clue what they are speakme approximately... I will say that I have recieved a few best parenting recommendation from pepole who are not mothers and fathers... You do not ought to BE a mum or dad to have a few normal experience on designated matters or to have your possess opinion on what you WOULD do for those who ahd a little one. But mostly, if I wish parenting recommendation I'll ask for it. Anyone who presents recommendation to any individual who did not ask for it's RUDE whether or not they are a mum or dad or no longer.

Answer 3

Be brutally honest. Tell her that even though you don't have children of your own, you don't approve of the way she is raising hers. Tell her that maybe she should look into some parenting classes or something, but what ever she does she can't bring her children to your house any more until something changes. I know that sounds harsh and you don't want to loose your friend,but it sounds to me like she is ruining these children and doesn't seem to care. Maybe somebody needs to shake her up a little. Have CPS pay her a visit. These children are the ones that are going to be in charge when we are older, I personally don't want kids like that taking over my future! Sometimes I feel like people like that are the reason I think we should have to take a test before we are allowed to have kids. If you truly are her friend and you care for those kids, something has to be done and soon.

Answer 4

Just to answer the tag line, you might want to remind her that you do not have to have experience in something to comment intelligently on the subject. People have opinions on the war all the time but have not been in battle. People with common sense and good ideas still can comment on things they have no first had experience in. If this was not true than not many people would be writing in this Yahoo room at all because you have to have had experience in everything you comment on.