I got this so-called friend...?

Question

I got this friend named Tony, I met him a while ago, we use to work together. Tony and I are soulmates but not in this lifetime, he's hit a rough spot and drinks an aweful lot(like a whale)he never calls on my birthday or remembers anything important about me. The other night he called me three times before I got home, I called him back, he was at a bar, he did talk a couple of minutes and then handed the phone to some girl and she started asking questions(I mistakenly hung up on her) He was not this way when I met him, good people, always helpful, he's hit some hard times (ie losing his job, but he got a new one) I think the G/F drinks right along with him. I miss the friendship, I've moved on and found somebody else but I'm worried about him, but he just acts like he dosen't care.

I guess I still care and love him to much or I'm I being nosey? His mom drank herself to death, I just don't want to see the same happen to him.

Answer 1

You have made the right decision by moving on with your life. Letting go isn't easy. Learning how to trust yourself again takes time. Alcholic parents usually have alcholic children and they all end up on the same path over time - dead.

The key here is to forgive. Forgiveness means you have let go of all committments to that person and connections. You must also begin to trust yourself again. This takes time, and it isn't easy, but it can be done with time.

While your moving ahead, your wondering how the heck you ever ended up with this person in the first place? How did that person come across onto your path in life? Can i avoid this in the future? How do I move on?

It begins with friendships.There are different kinds of friendships in this lifetime.

Remember, when 99% of all people out there are just out for themselves and/or for money, we only want to be with the 1% who are not.

Some who claim they are your friend usually know how to fake sincereity. They agree with everything you say and they are very careful with their own words when they respond, observing your every word and finding a way to use it for their own. They are lazy and never amount to anything but themselves.

Some friendships don't value your sense of Trust and your sense of Person and don't respect that at all. They too are selfish.

Some will say things behind your back and do the two face potty dance when your not around, to get attention to themselves from yet another willing person. Sad.

The 1% that isn't like that are what we call genuine friendships. Here you can have open communication and really get to know them as well as them getting to know you. They never hold back on conversation and this builds a wonderful trust. They also never ask for anything in return because any material wants and needs they have for themselves, they get for themselves with their own abilities. They also want the very best for you no matter what and only want you to be happy as well.

Genuine friendships can usually be found when we develop self interests in our life. Interest groups usually form together and when two people meet up and share something in common first, that will go a long way than meeting them at a bar.

Bars are fun places to go to when your with a group of people, when you just want to unwind a bit and have some fun and maybe even a nice dinner and some dancing., It can be a good source of an evening out, with friends!

Remember: When you are ready to meet new people again, give the next new person that enters into your life a fair and equal chance at getting to know you and your heart first. Alcholics only want the next drink first.

Answer 2

um Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Answer 3

Sometimes, you just have to let God step in. Pray on it and leave it in God's hands. YOU are not responsible for his actions. Don't confuse concern with love. Tell him how you feel and leave it alone, he will either pull it together or not. It is his life to enjoy or destroy. Set boundaries - don't call me when you are drunk. I hate seeing and hearing you like this. It's pretty clear-you don't hold a top ranking spot in his life. So walk away- and be happy with your life and man.

Answer 4

it seems like you do still care for him but don't make the mistake of confusing caring for someone and still being in love with with them. all you have to do i listen to your gut and follow through with it. just remember that you can't help anyone if they don't want to be helped. it's OK to still care, but the question is what will you get out of it beside a ulcer form worring?

Answer 5

you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. be very careful. you might get so caught up in his life and his problems you forget about you. it's fine to still have feelings for him and want to take care of him but like i said watch yourself. don't lose you in the process.

Answer 6

If he doesnt want help, dont force it on him. Congratulations to you for noticeing it though and steering clear.

Answer 7

man girl if hes your friend talk to him if he doesnt accept the help then maybe he doesnt want to change sorry to hear that though