Mother in law from Hell!!!?

Question

I just found out i am two months preg. yesturday. Now my boyfriends mom wants me to have an abortion. I am totally against abortions. But she is like that it is not his problem, it is mine for opening my legs. She is saying that i just did it on purpose to make him marry me. I was on birth control! I hate her.... Her thing is that guys are not responsible, that it is the girls fault. Cuz guys can just go hoe around and girls are the ones that have to pay for it. She says that she forbids him to marry me. Don't know what to do? I am afraid she is going to put things in his head. He says we are going to get married in a month, but i am afraid she is going to change his mind.

Answer 1

you two should get married and tell her to stay out of your business if she isn't going to be supportive. once you are a legal couple she will have no way to control her son's actions. you two should move away as soon as you can or simply avoid her. You need positive people around you now and take care of that sweet little baby that is growing inside. make sure you are taking the prenatal vitamins and get with your doctor immediately so you do it right. she will eventually fall in love with the baby and will regret being such a ****. she's probably only trying to protect her son. you'll find out when you are a mom:))) you can get very protective and defensive. if you two are really young and not married then it's understandable that she is upset, but she shouldn't be insisting on abortion in my opinion. does your boyfriend even want to get married? have you two been together long? it's a huge deal being parents as i'm sure you know. get serious and sign up for the child birth classes. if she see's you two doing responsible things she may actually start to believe in you.......it will take some time but you may eventually win her over. if not, move on and she will be the one who loses. my bet is that she won't want to lose her son and her grandchild....she feels threatend and that her son may have been misled. time will show that your love for each other has made a beautiful baby, she should be proud of that and will be sorry for things she's said.....I'll bet you on that;)
Best Wishes!!!

Answer 2

Wow. You don't say how old you are, but it really doesn't matter. Equally as unimportant is what this woman thinks of you, or the pregnancy. The only people who get to vote here are you, and the father - you two made the baby, and you two have to decide what is best for this new life you are creating.

At this point, the most important person is the baby, and the most important decision is what is best for the baby. You have to ask yourself if you are ready to marry and be a mother, and if your boyfriend is really ready to marry and be a father.

If you decide to marry - and you both want to - then you need to get some premarital counseling and figure out the plan for how you both want to provide for and raise this baby.

Another question - do you both want to be married, to each other? If you aren't sure, or one of you isn't, time to get to the health clinic, talk about paternity testing, and set up a plan for how both of you will support this baby. There is a lot to figure out, from where you will live to how you will support yourselves. None of it can be decided while everyone's hysterical, so you, he, (and his parents, and yours, if you're underage) need to sit down with a neutral third party, like a social worker, to look at your options.

If you don't believe you are ready to be a mother, or a wife and a mother, you might consider allowing a couple to adopt your baby. Many states allow for "open adoption," so that you wouldn't lose all contact. This is also an honorable choice, and if it's what you feel is best for the baby, your local social services office can point you towards how you go about it.

His mother may be panicking. People who are scared/upset often say whatever idiot thing comes to mind. She may also truly be a witch (what, BTW do your parents think?). Either way, she's clearly not a good source of advice. It would be best if both of you saw a neutral third party (like a social worker), and discussed what you both think is best, for you, and for the baby.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If you feel its in your best interest to have the baby go for it but dont let anyone force you into having an abortion. You will regret it for the rest of your life. It has to be your decision whether you want to have the baby or not. If the guy really loves you he'll be there for you no matter what, but if not its ok too. There are many kids that grow up without a father and turn up to be sometimes better people that some who do have a father in they're lifes. His mother should stay out of it hes a big boy to take care of this issue and she should repect you no matter what. And hey if your worried financially there's always child support

Answer 4

It's extremely wrong of her to ask you to get an abortion. It would be one thing if it was the father of the baby but the grandmother has no say in it. But I agree with you that abortion is wrong. It is also just as much the guy's responsibility as it is the girl's if she gets pregnant---that is just the risk you take when you sleep with someone. My advice is this: Don't get an abortion. If your mother in law doesn't like that then she'll just have to deal with it. If she resents your child for the rest of its life then who cares? All that matters is that YOU love your child, if she doesn't then that's her problem. Make sure the baby's father knows how you feel about abortion as well.

Answer 5

Well I understand what you are saying and my best suggestion is to listen to your head. If you know for a fact that he is going to marry you, regardless of what his mother says, then you need to set some limits beforehand. He needs to be prepared to the fact that he might be alienating his mother ,and his family, and that he will be put into the middle alot on choosing to do: what you want or what his mother wants. You need to make him aware of this and have him make that choice soon, before you get married. Then sit back and observe what he does. If he continues doing what his mother tells him instead of what you tell him then this is usually a sign that he doesn't really want to get married, or at least not completely dedicated to you, and will likely continue to put his mother's wills ahead of yours. What I'm trying to tell you in this particular scenario is to RUN!!!

Now if he is willing to alienate his mother and even go as far as move across the country from her then he might be a keeper.

I know how you must feel. My mother is very much like your potential mother in law and I had to all but cut contact with her to prevent any friction between her and my wife. Also I no longer keep in touch with one of my brothers because he defended my mother's actions instead of waiting to find out the entire story first. It is a sad reality but unfortunately the only way that I could be completely dedicated to my wife without outside influences. Do I regret what I had to do? Yes and no, yes I didn't want to alienate my family but I knew that it had to be done. No I don't regret marrying my wife.

Good luck to you and remember use your eyes and see what is really there instead of what your heart wants to see.

Answer 6

Tell her that you aren't going to have an abortion and that it's up to her son if he wants to marry you. If he ends up not marrying you, there's always child support.

Tell her that it takes two to tango, and you wouldn't be pregnant if it wasn't for her son. If he would have worn a condom, there wouldn't have been any problems. It's her fault for not teaching him about safe sex. She should know where babies come from.

Don't let her get to you too much. Some woman are just nasty no matter who you are. Just let her know what you think, you're pregnant, you're prone to mood swings. ;) If she says stuff about you and changes your boyfriends mind, then you don't need to be with him anyway, it would be like that your whole marriage if he did. If he loves you, he will see that she is just trying to stop it and he will be mad at her for trying to break you up.

Sit down with him- alone- and have a talk with him. Let him know your frustrations at things she says and tell him to step in for you and tell her to butt out. She may not take it from you, but she should take it from her own child.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear about your story. You really don't need to marry him to bring up this child, you both can live together and make this relationship work.

I think you need to sit down and talk with this woman; she after all will be the grandmother of your child. Once the baby is born, I'm sure she'll warm up to the baby and things will change

Good luck, girl!

Answer 8

Your boyfriend's mother is obviously against pregnancy before marriage, and I don't think there is much you can do to change her mind. She doesn't have any control over your body either, and you should make your own decisions concerning your child. As long as you and your boyfriend are in a secure relationship and your boyfriend is not just marrying you because you are pregnant, I don't think there is anything that his mother can do to change his mind. Congradulations btw. :)

Answer 9

i don't think you should have an abortion. i think that is wrong also.don't let her get in the way of you two. it takes two people to make a baby not just one. tell him that it is his choice not his mothers. you guys should sit down and have a talk about if you guys are going to get married and have the baby. keep the baby and try to get married. if he is your true love then marry him that is what i think. GOOD LUCK WITH THIS PROBLEM!!!!!

Answer 10

she has no say so of what U should do. then sooner U make her realize this fact the better off she will be. and as for you man tell him to grow some balls and tell his mommy to back off. And if he dont marry u on account of her then u better consider that a blessing because its only gonna get worst. Sorry to be so blunt but im telling u the truth.