Why do men always insist on having 3somes?

Question

Ok, Does it make it different if your married?

Answer 1

There is value in monogamy, when BOTH people want it. If either party in the relationship wants 'more', then that is NOT by definition wrong, just not what BOTH people want.

I'd recommend you keep an open mind. Men tend to be 'funny' about being denied something, and tend to go for it anyway. Not saying yours WILL, but I have some (personal) experience with exactly what I'm talking about.

There is value in a marriage that is WIDE open, where both people make a point of GIVING the freedom, love, support and encouragement to their partner to actively engage in 'relationship things' with someone else while still valueing and nurturing the relationship you already have. This works when BOTH want it and are already VERY VERY VERY (and I mean "VERY") secure with the relationship already. An open marriage does NOT (EVER!!!) fix a broken one.

So those two positions are the extreme ends of relationships. There might be room for some leeway/middleground between the two of them, and it really depends on how flexible you BOTH wish to be, how patient and understanding you BOTH are with each other's position, how well BOTH of you communicate everything. If there are ANY twinges/feelings that one is holding back, not saying everything, too selfish, etc.... then this ain't gonna work and you need to regroup, reevaluate what you are doing and how you'll successfully accomplish it.

Now, what's true for EACH of those things I mentioned, is that regardless of the 'place' you see yourself at, certain relationship 'things' are vital---communications (open, blunt and complete), genuine care/affection for each other, desire to see your partner pleased/satisfied in the relationship the two of you already have, LACK of jealousy (or at least deliberately work to mute it to a dull roar), mutual respect regardless of level of agreement on any topic, etc... Now, go back and review who and what 'you' are looking for, see how well you've invested yourself in these qualities and how much you ensure your spouse knows you care and wish to always communicate---even when you don't agree.

I 'suspect' you are seeking strictly monogamous, and have personal lack of self-conscious issues, lack of self-esteem issues. Those may be the VERY qualities your spouse has an issue with, and thus the VERY best thing I could recommend you do is FACE them, DIRECTLY with Him, and positively ASK for his love, help and support in dealing with them. It would be the very hardest thing you've ever done in your life, yet also the absolutely MOST beneficial, too.

Good luck, I wish you all the best, and hope you are successful in what you are desireing!

P.S. I respect everyone and their opinion, and especially their right to it. What "mychromechevy" said, has some validity.... Men ARE sexually driven, yet that isn't the ONLY dimension. Further, opening your marriage to a 3some does NOT cause new insecurites --- it can certainly amplify ones that were already there (thus go back and re-read my comment on that point above). Another option to consider.... how 'good' are you sexually at this point in your life....... if you are like me (a guy's perspective though).... we ALL can learn something more sexually, to become a better lover. HINT!.

If you wish to discuss privately, my name is the same for my email here on yahell. :) Again, best to you!

Answer 2

We want more sex with more people. Get over it. You cannot change the history of all men. Do it or don't do it, but don't complain.
Maybe suggest a 3some with another guy.

Answer 3

Adding something to Bommerrang3's respoce.
If we have a fantasy, and we tell you about it, and you get mad, why in the world would we ever want to tell you anything again.
Think about it people. If your partner opens up to you about something they desire and you shoot them down. Why would they want to talk to you about anything else that you might gripe about.

Try including your partner in your fantasy, see where you can each meet, and let it build and not tear down your relationship.

As for me, I love women, I love the look of your body, that there are 2 of you makes it that more beautiful.
Sorry if you find that ugly to you.

Answer 4

Women are always complaining about porn and this is one of the reasons that we love porn so much. We like thinking about doing this. When we want to include you all in our fantasies, you complain?

Answer 5

i know some women who insist also its just not us men

Answer 6

They don't insist, but they do fantasize about it. Nothing wrong with that!

Answer 7

Because it is really hard to find three women to have a four-some

Answer 8

double the pleasure, double the fun

Answer 9

its like a fantasy for them... like guys liking 2 chicks making out.

:)

Answer 10

Double your pleasure , double your fun !