All I can remember are the good times. I've forgotten any bad times. Everything was perfect until infidelity entered. There was a work related absense in the marriage and both of us became weak. How can I tell him how sorry I am that we got divorced? How can I tell him how I fantasize about being together again? Or, should I let it go...stay in the past?
2006-06-13 10:24:52 · 33 answers · asked by spain_105 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, I respect your courage for writing here, but I would take the most serious advice from those who know you best... those closest to you. There aren't enough details in your story for anyone but those who know you to give you good advice, but a lot of people have similar feelings. When I was single I always pined for my ex's... the bad times didn't register and all I remembered was the good times. This doesn't mean that they didn't happen and that what drove me from my now ex's wasn't real. We did break up for a reason, and our incompatibility was something to be considered. No matter what you do, even if you did get back together, you can't relive a memory. This isn't to say you shouldn't talk to your ex or figure out what you're feeling, but I'd say take your time with it. If the feeling is really real, if the relationship is meant to be, then it's worth waiting for. A lot of times things seem good at the time, but if we waited, we lose interest or realize what a bad decision it was. Even so, you have a fractured relationship, and it's going to take a lot of care and thought to bring it together... either way, protect your own heart and take your time. Find someone you really trust and talk to them about it and let them speak into you... tell you a no bs assessment of what they can see from the outside. Even if you don't agree with them, it'll get you thinking. I wish you the best with your relationship, whether it's meant to be repaired or not. God bless you,
Brian
2006-06-13 10:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by b_switek 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love covers a multitude of sins, according to the bible. That being said, our brains are naturally inclined to focus on the positive for the majority of us. (There are, of course, exceptions to the rule.)
If you had a great marriage until the infidelity occurred, then perhaps you should just give him a call or write a letter. Be honest, and tell him that you miss him and can't stop thinking about him. (I assume that he hasn't remarried or isn't in a serious relationship.) Once you let him know how you feel, let nature take its course.
If there were other things in the marriage and you fought a lot, I would let it go. Start getting out there and meeting new people; the right person is out there for you.
2006-06-13 10:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Georgia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you got divorced - by mutual consent/agreement - then I am guessing that you both carefully considered how this would affect each of your lives, individually and as a couple, before finalizing your divorce.
The only questions that you have to ask yourself is "why" you are so sure you want to get back together if you've already divorced? If the answer(s) are good enough reason(s) for you, then ask him how he feels about getting back together.
If he is open to reuniting, then discover if the two of you TOGETHER are willing to do what needs to be done to repair the damage that's been done, and then move forward together with that perspective in mind.
Good Luck!
2006-06-13 10:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason for the feeling is because you two have history --- and you are accustomed to his wants and habits(he knows what you look like undressed and you feel comfortable with him knowing you so intimately)..... it's scary getting back into the dating scene again - especially going through all the bad apples to find a good one....
Take things slowly --- let yourself heal from the broken marriage --- once you feel confident that you are ready to move on --- have a close friend help you meet available men that interest you----
2006-06-13 10:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good one. You need to come down from the clouds and really give this one some thought. You need to really analyze what went wrong and the problems you had to resulted in your divorce and determine whether or not they are issues that you can resolve. If so, then go for it. If not, you may just need to move on, as hard as it sounds. In any case, it cannot hurt to talk to him and ask him his opinion. This involves the two of you so you both have to agree.
2006-06-13 10:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by lilange157 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through that too I moved on it was so hard I cried for days but what made me strong was the fact that he cheated , he ruined our whole future together I really loved him now I met someone and he's so much better than the last guy if you take him back it will only make him feel you will put up with anything
2006-06-13 10:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on, and sorry to say it but you need to mature and stop living in a fantasy world, if things were really so great a "work related absense" would not have resulted in him cheating. There had to be other factors that you are choosing to ignore.
Get some self-esteem also, believe in your self and that you "deserve" better then someone who doesn't take their vows seriously and cheats on you.
2006-06-13 10:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you feel lonely and angry about what he did to you. The FACT is that he does NOT love you like YOU love him. If he really loved you he would have NOT cheated on you. Besides if you were to take him back he would do the SAME thing Again and Again. My advise to you, is to meet new people and realize that as a women you deserve something better and you deserve to be happy with someone who values you more than him. Im not gonna tell you to forget him because once your with someone its impossible to just take him out of your life but you will see that slowly you will realize to what extent he has hurt you and you will forget him.
2006-06-13 10:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by Deception 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go after Him if he's a Good man... cuz Good men make mistakes too... don't forfeit your marriage over a mistake... next time set up some boundaries to prevent the infidelity... and then ask him how can you both work it out.... but make haste cuz men tend to move on faster than women...
2006-06-13 10:29:37 · answer #9 · answered by Shorty Roc* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are lonely. If things were so great between you two, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. I wouldn't tell him you fantasize about being with him again, he'll think you're nuts. Go out with your girlfriends, try online dating, or try a new hobby. It's time to move on.
2006-06-13 10:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by akc1106 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋