I have been with my boyfriend for five years and we have two kids together, and since the beginning of our relationship he has accuse me of cheating. I dont never go anywhere, I dont have any friends. He don't allow me to breathe. I am so tired of living a life like this. He always accuse me of cheating, talking to other guys and everything like that. What am I to do?
2006-06-13 10:14:46 · 24 answers · asked by Ms. C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have just ended my relationship of 7 yrs and two beautiful boys later because of his insecurity. Always, always saying or thinking dirty things even with my own family members. Sweetie YOU are the only one that can put an end to this all. No more chances, no more TRYING to put up with it or HOPING he will stop. It won't!!!! Put that foot down and let him know it's stopping TODAY......I had to leave everything I had behind and carry what I oculd so I didn't have to go back...Everything is materialistic, it all can be replaced within time... He's emotionally abusing you..and is destroying your self esteem. Worry about those babies and what's best for them. They don't need to see you or hear you gus arguing or him downgrading you....GET OUT SERIOUSLY. I wish you the best and hopefully you have family or a very close friend you can stay with until you get back on your feet. If worse comes to worse find a women's shelter....I know your like man that's extreme and he's only talking crap, but believe me you will realize how much more better, healthy, stress free you will feel once you are away from this insecure, abusive, careless fool. What he is putting you through NO ONE deserves it. and just remember me for best answer lol j/k but SERIOUSLY I know what you are going through, XACTLY what you are going through. I've only been away for two months but boy are we so much better off.......
2006-06-13 10:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Mary 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all the reason he accuses you is because he is doing it himself and second of all get out of the relationship even though you love him but I will tell 16 years from now you will realize staying with him was a big mistake just like I did ....
I was treated the same way and just a year ago I realized what a mistake I had done and I was just like you did not do anything never went anywhere and no breathing allowed for me ....
I am breathing again !
2006-06-13 10:26:14 · answer #2 · answered by flipper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is very insecure, for one reason or another. He is not able to trust, but that may not have anything to do with you. He may still be scarred from an old relationship where an ex-girlfriend cheated on him and from that one experience, he may be stereotyping all women as cheaters. He is just afraid that you will do the same thing to him. Try to get him to open up to you and talk about it with you. Be understanding and reassure him along the way that you would NEVER EVER do anything like that to hurt him like he was hurt before. If that doesn't work and things don't change, you may want to recommend counseling to him if he cares about you and your two children. I hope that this helps you. Good luck!!!
2006-06-13 10:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by nisey513 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows you are not cheating. He is just being a jerk because he knows it hurts you when he says this to you. Tell him like you said it here. Just tell him that he knows you stay home and don't go anywhere and that he needs to stop this childish behavior. Ask him if he is accusing you to take the focus off of himself and see what his response is then. Not to start an argument but maybe if he sees what it feels like to be wrongly accused he will stop doing it to you. Tell him that you know he doesn't think you are cheating. If you tell him that maybe he will feel silly and not say it anymore. Use reverse psychology on him. Good luck.
2006-06-13 10:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wrote: " . . .boyfriend for five years and we have two kids together, and since the beginning of our relationship he has accuse me of cheating."
I'm sorry, but why would he respect someone who would get pregnant without, first, requiring they be a wife? He got the cow for free. He's probably tired of the whole "relationship," and figures that if he accuses you enough, you will be weak enough to actually cheat on him. I mean, you had sex without being married; you had children without being married; why shouldn't you cheat on your husband? I mean, neither of you seem to respect each other--so........
I am just sorry that you have children who are being taught the wrong messages. I believe I would be more concerned about why you BOTH are cheating your children.
2006-06-13 10:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my guess would be that he is the one cheating and he feels guilty maybe and wants to push it off on you so he doesn't feel so bad. he is convincing himself in his mind that you are the one doing what he is out doing because he doesn't want to look like the bad person in the relationship. this is what i have learned first hand in my relationship with my daughters father! he always wanted to know where i was going, what i was doing, when i would be home and who would be with me but when i ask him the same question it was a whole different story. if you are not happy with the relationship don't stay in it just for the kids! it never works and the kids will me miserable if you do and the kids don't need to be in the middle of a relationship that is in the process of falling apart and the kids taking on the responsibility of trying to keep it together.
2006-06-13 10:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by ~Amanda~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he asks you if your cheating turn it around on him. They say the one who is making accusations has a guilty conscience. Not always true but might make him stop. Then tell him your to busy raising the kids, taking care of the house, working, whatever, to be having an affair. That's how I got my husband to back off about it.
2006-06-13 10:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by passion8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a trust issue and you probably should not have continued this relationship if he was like this to begin with. All guys are not like this and he seems like he has very low self-esteem. I would say you should go to counseling with him and see if that works. It may be only resolved with divorce but for the kids sake, I would say this would be the last resort.
2006-06-13 10:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's insecure. find a way to help him believe that you are a faithful woman. maybe he has been through a situation like that where the woman is acting like you or maybe he's just like that. well if you really want to be with him then try your best to fingure out how to gain his trust, but if not let him know that he wont put up with his insecurity anymore because you are doing nothing wrong and he needs to get over it. then live out your words you tell him. but having kids is a tough situation, but whatever you do, make sure you will be able to withstand the outcomes
2006-06-13 10:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Miss X♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not all your fault. My second ex wife screwed around on me the last year of our marriage and I did not know as I gave her 100% committment and while I was taking care of the kids she said she was working, but she did not say she was working on her boyfriend. I will forever suspect women for cheating whether they do or not. It is women like her that make us think and act like we do. The defense rests.
2006-06-13 10:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋