My thirteen year old daughter has been acting extremely rude to my husband since she was about 12. She keeps saying it's just a phase she's going through, and everyone does, but I think her friends are all bad influences on her because this year, she switched cliques and made totally new friends.
2006-06-13 10:07:51 · 14 answers · asked by ilene_plotkin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yeah! it's just a stage that almost all girld go through. It usually happen from 12 to 17 but it was last forever so be patient.
2006-06-13 10:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by Hot KC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter is aware of her own phase, then it's mostly an excuse to mouth off to you. But part of it is genuine, and that part of it is testing your limits--testing how obnoxious you will let her be and still include her in the family. If she really felt insecure about this, there would be no obnoxiousness, so her rudeness is, in a sense, a compliment that you have been able to make her feel safe.
Nonetheless, part of that limits-testing business is designed to find out where the new limits are now that she is not such a little kid anymore. So you need to set new rules about exactly where the new line is, and exactly where her new independence stops and your rules take over again.
Examples might be, she can do more of the things she wants after school, but there must always be an adult present (in the same house, I mean.) Or she has to tell you where she is all the time, and notify you by cell phone when she is changing location---and she has to text you if for some reason she is in a place where talking on a cellphone would be impractical or impolite.
Apparently "your husband" is not her father. Then you need to explain to her that she doesn't have to like him, but she is still expected to be civil to him. And you need to lay out some pretty clear rules about when she is expected to do what he says and when she can do what she wants.
2006-06-13 11:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by Durian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The teen years can be a challenge — for parents. So instead of having a showdown over every little thing, only go head-to-head on issues that have real moral or social significance. They might include drugs, drinking or sex. Try not to get worked up about typical teenage phases: odd clothes, strange hair styles, or weird expressions. Believe me, adolescence is draining enough as it is, so don’t waste your energy on little skirmishes. . . save it — for the big battles.
Remember, your family first.
Visit the Family First Resource Center at http://www.familyfirst.net/library.asp for more information on strengthening your family and marriage.
Heres A Link To Amazon For Some Helpful Books On Raising Teenagers!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=pd_sl_ov_tops-1_stripbooks_7202359_1/102-2464581-8224916?search-alias=aps&keywords=raising%20teenagers
The Best Thing You Can Do Is, Do Not Be Her Friend, Be Her Mother...
Yes Its Just A Phase! A Long Long Phase. Mine Started At 11 And Didnt End Until I Was 20. Now I Am 21 And A Mother Of An 8 Month Old Daughter Dearest... And I Cant Wait For Her Phase! =]
2006-06-13 10:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by krispy_mnmz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shakespeare, once wrote, that all the world's a stage, and we merely players, acting out our parts.
Teenage rebellion is nothing new, and parents have had to live through it, I would suspect since Adam and Eve.
I'm sure you know how their kids turned out.
It is a phrase, and might be exaggerated by her new peer group. But this too will pass, and by the time she is sixteen of so, will be almost back to being a normal human being again.
Just grin and bear it. You will survive, battered and bruised, you may well be, but also tougher and wiser.
2006-06-13 10:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never went through any stages. My Lord, if we even thought of being rude to our folks we got disciplined. My folks also had the final say on who we could or could not have as friends. If they didn't like their behavior or influence we had to find others to hang out with.
Kids attitudes and behaviours have changed dramatically since they've been enabled by social services to threaten their folks with child abuse and since the parents have stopped disciplining them and expecting proper behavior from the time they were little kids on.
And what have they been seeing on TV and movies - kids being smart alecks and disrespectful to adults. Common courtesy and good behavior have gone out the window.
2006-06-13 10:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, I believe teenage girls are the devil. I'm almost positive that I was possessed at that age. I hated my parents and anything there was to do with them. We get along great now. We started having a good relationship when I was about 17 and for a brief period before 16 when I was trying to get a car out of them. It will get better. For know get a lot of headache medicine!
2006-06-13 10:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by belli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS NOT A PHASE!
If it's a phase, that means that she is unaware of it and is just passing through it. The fact that she's aware of it means that she can control it, and it's not a phase - it's a choice. Don't buy her excuses for poor behavior and disrespect. What she's learning is that she can get away with making these lame excuses with you, and with disrespecting her father. Hold her accountable for her behavior!!!
2006-06-13 10:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should pay more attention to her and start talking to her. Ask her why she switched friends. Just talk to her. She may not like your new husband. 13 year olds need their own space also just give her some time.
2006-06-13 10:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont remember going through a stage, but maybe it is bad influence. But you really need to discipline her while she is still young cause when she gets older, it will be worse.
2006-06-13 10:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a phase, but she's using it as an excuse to be disrespectful, as well as a test of her newfound independence, thanks to her new friends' teachings about "how you can get away with stuff if you butter your parents up the right way".
Personally, I'd smack her if she mouthed off to me, but your results may vary.
M
2006-06-13 10:13:17 · answer #10 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋