How can you help an alcoholic that won't help themselves?

Question

How can you help an alcoholic that won't help themselves? Many will say that you often times have to hit rock-bottom to have the want to work yourself back up. But, what exactly is rock-bottom. To a 45 year old mother of 2, grandmother of 1, you would think that getting arrested 5 times in the past year, having 3 DUI's in the past 3 months, spending a night in jail, going to 45+ AA classes, having your 17 year old daughter move out, and being physically abused by your alcoholic "boyfriend" THAT would be rock bottom. But, apparantly it is not.... or my mother has completely lost her mind.

In any event. How can you even begin to help an alcoholic that won't help themselves? Or, for that matter, doesn't care to?

Answer 1

Wow. For starters, this person has one good thing in his/her corner -- you. And while it's mostly true that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, you can certainly make a difference. For instance, I smoked for ten years and had a pretty serious habit. I didn't really want to quit, but my hubby's constant concern was an instigator for my decision to finally put them down. He stood by and never criticized me, but always let me know that he was concerned for my health and willing to support me through quitting whenever I was ready to do it. When I did get around to quitting, he gave up something with me, kept me busy and distracted, and became my number one cheerleader. People have all kinds of reasons for addictive behavior; the very best help you can be is to discover those needs and help resolve the problem at the root. Be a friend, but not an enabler. Choose to go to alcohol-free places when you go out, provide positive distractions, and encourage/support your friend when he/she finally seeks help.

Hope this helps,
~Tia~

Here's some other resources:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Foote1.html
http://www.prnewsnow.com/PR%20News%20Releases/Industry%20Specific/Healthcare/How%20to%20Help%20an%20Alcoholic
http://www.bucknell.edu/About_Bucknell/Offices_Resources/Health_Services/How_To_Help_A_Friend/How_To_Help_A_Friend_With_a_Drinking_Problem.html

Answer 2

INTERVENTION FIRST. BUT DONT SHOW ANY HOSTILELY THAT WILL ONLY MAKE THEM WANT TO GO AND GET A DRINK. SHOW LOVE, GIVE THEM EXAMPLES ON HOW LIFE WAS ONCE WAS BEFORE DRINKING CAME INTO PLAY. WHY DONT YOU FIND SOME OUTREACH PROGRAMS. WE USED TO TAKE OUR PATIENTS TO THE CORONER OFFICE TO SHOW DEAD ALCOHOLICS AND DISEASED LIVERS FROM DRINKING. I GET THEM WHEN THEY HAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND BEGGING FOR HELP.

Answer 3

WELL IFU REALLY WANT TO HELP[ HER UR 17 RIGHT CALL CPS AND TELL THEM WHATS GOING ON AND MAYBE THEY CAN HELP HER I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THAT HUNNY BUT UR RIGHT YOU CANT HELP ONE IF THEY DONT HELP THEM SELF OK SO GO TO CPS

Answer 4

Firstly ethanol itself (the active drug in alcoholic beverages) is a diuretic by inhibiting the secretion of ADH (Anti-diuretic hormone) the effect of this is to cause more water to be taken out of the blood during each pass though the kidney, combine that with the increased mount of water generally being consumed (most alcoholic beverages are mostly water) and the inability of intoxicated persons to tell when they need to go sometimes and this problem can result.

Answer 5

Yes I agree with what's been said

Answer 6

rock bottom isn't objective, it's a subjective viewpoint, that is to say each person's rock bottom is different from someone else's. Sounds like this person is hitting the description of where this leads...prison, insanity, death. Before he gets to that point, consider an intervention because it doesn't seem like AA helped. I believe that one of the tenets of that program is a desire to stop drinking. If the individual lacks that desire, then it is really sad. Consider Al-Anon for friends and family of alcoholics. You may find some great suggestions and comfort. You aren't alone, there are millions of alcoholics out there. Take a look for your local AA hotline number in your state/town. That's a beginning. ANd probably can provide info on how to organize and effectively utilize an intervention. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Have an intervention and get everyone that knows her to tell her they won't talk to her ever again until she's clean and sober. If that doesn't work, she's lost. There's always hope, but some people just never make it back from addiction. It's really sad. Sorry....

Answer 8

I understand your frustration, but unfortunately everyone's bottom is different. Best thing is to not enable her, the more she is cut off from her friends the sooner it may happen. You probably won't have to worry about her for much longer, with 3 DUI's she will definitely get jail time. Maybe the reality of no freedom will convince her to get help.
It really isn't enough to just attend meetings she needs to get a sponser and work the steps of a 12 step program. Court ordered attendance rarely works.

Answer 9

you can not help anyone that doesn't want to be helped. Rock bottom is different for Every one. Its sounds like she doesn't even want help. But there is a pill out there that a person can take and if they drink while taking this pill it will make you so sick you will never want to drink again. trust me I know. And there is Alcoholics Anonymous and other support groups out there. Good luck

Answer 10

You really can't help them if they don't want help.My ex wife is a severe alcoholic.She has 3 children that have been removed from her custody because of her drinking,still she continues to do it on a daily basis.She chooses to live that way and denies that she has a problem . It,s unfortunate,especially where the children are involved.