How do i stop resenting women who are pregnant?

Question

Everytime i hear that someone is pregnant and they go around beagging about it, it makes me mad but i dont show it until i get home. It just bothers me so bad and I want to just go up to that person who is bragging and be like "shut up i dont want to hear how happy u are" I know alot of us ladies feel like that and i know that i would brag a little bit also knowing that i got BFP (when i do). So, i can't blame them and i dont want to be like that but i can't change it. It's like resentment or something. I don't like being so mean....

i have been TTC for 1 yr now and have been through a LAP and started my 2nd round of clomid. I have PCOS.

Also, please don't leave rude comments i am being serious and it's not easy to know that you can't have children naturally.

Answer 1

Well it is hard when you have been trying for a long time and some women get pregnant pretty easily, it can be really emotional for you and so your feelings are understandable. My sister has PCOS and wants to get pregnant, and my sister-in-law have been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years now, and I am right in the middle because I got pregnant not too long after my hubby and I were married and now our baby is 2 years old. It was hard because my sis-in-law showed a lot of resentment towards me when I was pregnant and right after the baby was born. I never gloated or bragged by the way because we knew that they were trying to conceive, so my husband and I were extra-sensitive with them. But my sis-in-law, she couldn't help feeling bad somehow and for a long time she would just ignore me and my baby. I didn't take a lot of offense because I knew it was hard on her, but at the same time, I could not help feeling bad because it wasn't my fault that she has a hard time getting pregnant. You know what I mean? So for almost 2 years we had that weird relationship, but then, a miracle happened - when my daughter turned 1 and could talk, my sis-in-law started warming up to her (my daughter adores her, so she couldn't help but like her niece), and now they're the best of friends. It's really amazing watching my sis-in-law change. She is still trying to get pregnant and she's been through a lot, but she has been a great and wonderful aunt to my daughter, and our relationship got better as well. So I know it is hard for all the women who are trying to get pregnant, but please don't resent those who were able to conceive right away. Everybody has different challenges in life, and we are all supposed to learn and grow from those challenges we face.

In your case, it's okay that you have resentful feelings every now and then. It is good though that you are able to recognize those feelings and that you're also aware of how you act towards those other women. Maybe those women didn't know your case and situation, so it would seem like they were being insensitive to you. If you let them know, then I'm sure they'll be more sensitive towards you and won't say or ask dumb questions (like, so when are you planning to get pregnant? Somebody asked my sis-in-law that question and she was mad as hell when she went home). It isn't easy, but as long as you always have hope then you won't feel so bad and won't resent others so much. So keep that hope alive inside you.

Goodluck to you!

Answer 2

Heya... I know exactly what it is like... My husband and I have been ttc for the past 2 1/2 years and have been diagnosed with PCOS. So far in the past year I have had three of my closest friends all fall pregnant and one of them miscarried twice and I had to be there for her. I know it is the hardest thing, and believe me when I say there are many people out there all experiencing the same thing.
For me, it even got to the stage that I would not watch TV as there were always updates on celeb pregnancies and I was forever buying tissues.
I feel that the best way to try and feel better about the situation (as you know that it will not go until you see that BFP of your own) is to talk to people. It doesn't have to be someone you know, it could be your diary, a chat room or discussion board. Write down your emotions and feelings rather than bottling them up.....
There is a very helpful board which I sometimes visit, and the people there are very helpful and many have been (or are in) the same situation as yourself.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/community/

If you would like someone to talk to, please feel free to e-mail me. [e-mail]

Answer 3

I don't think it's anger or actual resentment. I use to be the same way because I had miscarried four times. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for the gal who was pregnant, it just made me wonder what the heck was so wrong with me that I could conceive but not carry. Once I realized why I was annoyed by these women, I was able to come to terms with my feelings of jealousy and was actually able to be excited for those expecting.

I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant and every day I feel that little guy moving around I still wonder what went right this time. So be patient! This is definitely one of those things that is not really in your hands. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

It's only natural that since you have had a hard time getting pregnant that you would resent someone who was. Just remember that even though it seems like everyone is getting pregnant but you, there are alot of other people out there who are going through that too and some even have it worse than you.

Answer 5

I do the same thing, My husband and I have been trying for a year and a half, the doctor is going to check to see if my tubes are blocked and then start me on Chlomid. But I see people getting pregnant, and I do get really irritated, especially those that either aren't ready for them or those that shouldn't. I of course do the same and blow up when i get home. Your not alone, I don't like being mean either, I think on my part its jealousy, because I want it so bad it hurts.

Answer 6

I know how you feel... I miscarried twice before I was able to carry my child (18 months now). Now I am preggers again and I have two very close friends who are unable to get pregnant again and I feel terrible talking about my pregnancy. Oddly enough, they were the two I was the most jealous of when I was having my trouble because they were pregnant over that period of time. Know that they may feel terrible talking about it, but it is hard to not be excited. Your day will come!!! Keep your head up.

Answer 7

Honey, I feel ya! I have been trying to concieve for almost two year and I swear everyone around me is getting pregnant! I also keep getting baby samples in the mail. Talk about a stap in the heart! My son keeps asking me when am I going to have another baby. I don't have any advice on stopping your resentment since I have it too! Hang in there, our day will come!

Answer 8

I've been ttc since 2000 and I'm almost 40 so I can totally relate to where you're coming from.

It's hard when you are wanting to have a child and it just doesn't happen. You just gotta let go and let God decide. I don't get upset anymore. I know HE will know when the right time will be for me (and YOU) to have a baby.

Now what gets me mad are women who get preggers and as a fast birth control, abort their babies. Now THAT gets me mad!

Answer 9

my wife and i took 5 years and an unbelievable array of methods to conceive our first child. we have never fully recovered from the mental scars, which include resentment towards couples who conceive with little to no effort. to this day we both still feel the resentment. it is just something we have to live with. the feelings do diminish slightly with time (and esp. success) but, when you finally succeed you will have something they likely never will--a full, deep appreciation for how wonderful it is to be a parent. and, you will likely be a better parent for it.

Answer 10

You can't change how you feel, but some people who have never had any problems getting pregnant are not the most sensitive. I would just try to steer clear of them.