At first I didnt know what to think. Then finally I agreed, in theory, to try it. Finally I met a guy at work that I was into, told him about it, and I ended up hooking up with him. The sex was AMAZING, and I have met this man numerous more times. All my husband wants in return is to hear all of the details when I get home. AM I a bad person for liking this so much? It make my husband happy, and our sex life better as well. I hope I am not crazy, but I want to continue with this. Please dont use this to just rip on me, but any real comments or similar situations would be wonderful to read. I really feel I am "normal" in other respects. Normal job, normal friends, fit, have a good job, etc. Anyway, I am ranting now, thanks for any comments in advance.
2006-06-13 09:42:15 · 11 answers · asked by Christine Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are clearly a wonderful lady, with decency, charm, class and dignity. I commend you for your patience, discretion and respect for your husband in the process of all you've done.
Yes, you are normal!!! You are NOT a bad/crazy person!!!! And don't ever let anyone tell you differently!
Certainly you wish to maintain your privacy in this issue, as far too many people in society are unable to respect you and the choices you make... they feel it is THEIR place to judge you, however wrong that may be. sheesh.
Someone mentioned protection.... a smart thing at first, yet should things continue beyond a time or three, then all three of you getting tested for a complete suite of STD tests, meaning your husband, you and your boyfriend. "PROTECTION" has a valid place, yet in a working/committed relationship will GET in the way. Also, the cost of the full suite is worth it to prevent the plethora of diseases from spreading... believe me you don't want ANY of them. So, be careful, but move things forward at a pace you are comfortable with.
In part, you at least have an open marriage. It seems you also have good communication, honesty and respect for each other, which so many other people/relationships could learn from. What works good for you in your relationship is good in fact. Take your time, communicate openly, bluntly and honestly at all times about all things with your husband. Definately don't keep secrets... as that leads to the dark side---things git ugly. Along with this, be a good listener, too...... your husband is literally the other half of your marriage, and your attentiveness to HIS needs, and HIS feelings throughout all of this is just as important as your own satisfaction and continued success.
Others here suggested you open this up for your husband. It would be worth your while to at least discuss/explore all facets of things with him, to include how you feel about it.
Another idea to contemplate, is how long is this gonna last for? What about another guy, in two years that interests you? Basically, give yourself credit for your intelligence and libido too.... you've got a lot of years (50-70+) in front of you, the external relationship might (will?) change or fade away in time...... then how will you handle things? Now is a good time to discuss such things with your husband before you HAVE to face them. Besides, again, the discussion with your husband should only get things better and clearer with the two of you.
You've got a wonderful marriage and seemingly a solid relationship. Enrich it with the communications and you'll go even farther together. Remain positive with your husband on where things go, have an 'exit' criteria established and agreed to, and always ensure both of you are focused on your safety/security.
I genuinely wish you well... If you wish to discuss other, less public aspects of this privately, my name is the same for my email here on yahell. :) Again, best of luck to you!
2006-06-13 12:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by megettingbetter 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It's human to feel jealous, and yes even cheaters do it. I read about a case in NY recently where a guy killed his gf out of jealousy when she met up with her ex...funny thing was this guy was married. But yeah I wouldn't get in that situation. I don't cheat and I doubt I ever will, I don't have it in me. And if the guy I was cheating with wasn't even all that into me, I'd either accept it considering I had a hubby too, or I'd give it up quickly. It's not "women" who do what you describe, it's unhappy, selfish, stupid people. Harriet
2016-03-27 02:49:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah hes probably saying that because hes been seeing other women along the way, i think the big test would to see if hed include another guy into the bedroom...If not then I dont know, Bringing another woman into the bedroom wouldnt mean as much *my own opinion* Sometimes men will tell their wives to do this because maybe they are having a hard time in the sex department but obviously this isnt the case.... Just ask yourself is it ok that hes/might be sleeping with other women...Im sorry if I seem blunt..
(ps...risky sex between you and/or him could spell big trouble for you and the other partners as far as STDs go..I know you know this)
2006-06-13 09:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Terry J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all parties are involved approve of this, than that's your guys' business. As for me, I want a "one woman man" and I want to be a "one man woman"Some will have a good experience with this and some may not. My experience was to have a 3 some with this guy I was in love with, I was just considering it because I loved him. I went to the extent of finding someone and she turned out to be sleeping with him behind my back, so I will never consider it again for anybody.
I hope things work out between the three of you.
2006-06-13 09:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine it was a great experience for you probably cause it seemed naughty. Makes the sex good when there is that "danger" mode. I'd be interested in hearign more about your experince. I've had a similar fantasy and would liek to knwo your feelings. Email trialtoid@yahoo.com
2006-06-13 10:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's working then keep it up.
I cant believe that any man would want his girl to "do" someone else. I would be careful. He may be trying to sit you up for one nasty divorce. I dont know what the laws are there but here if you're the one cheating you lose everything.
If you can trust both people then as I said.... GO FOR IT!
2006-06-13 09:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by drifet_18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey.. if it works for you, go for it. Have you ever thought of including your husband in the three-some? Would you be ok if he wanted to go out and have sex with another woman? Maybe he already is and this is his way of making himself feel better.
2006-06-13 09:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i tired it and it was awesome to have 2 men take you at the same time. it turns on men its a fantasy my man went crazy for it i had never seen him so turned on. try it u may like it too
2006-06-13 09:48:10 · answer #8 · answered by ford_lovergirl_69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't do this with my husband but i did do it with an boyfriend. and I say as long as everyone is happy and honest and uses protection there is nothing wrong with it.
2006-06-13 09:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by cascade_waterfall04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT'S SO COOL
JUST MAKE SURE YOU WEAR PROTECTION....
KEEP ENJOYING...
AND NO U ARE NOT CRAZY, THERE IS SO MANY WOMAN OUT THERE CHEATING ON THEIR HUBBY'S...EVERY DAY...
FOOLING AROUND BEHIND THEIR BACK....
SO NO,, YOU ARE DOING IT FOR BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUBBY,,,PLEASANT EXPERIENCE...
YOU RE FINE...AS LONG AS YOUR HAPPY F. THE WORLD...
2006-06-13 09:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋