Hey, moms and dads: when is the right time for us?

Question

When my fiance and I talk about having children (in the future) I wonder, "how will we ever know when we are financially in good shape to start havin' some puppies?" He replies, "We won't ever know, we just have to do it." What do you think about that?

Answer 1

He is absolutely right... If you keep thinking that way, you will never feel ready... it is such a responsibility, you will have this baby that will depend on you to be provided with food, clothing, etc., that you start to think that what will happen if you do not have the money to provide such things.. but while you are stressing that, days, months, years, are passing by, and you will be working and never realized that you could have already had your bundle of joy... Me and my husband have two little ones, but they are already pretty old, and we decided that we want to have our last baby., and as long as we are presently employed and have our home, we will manage and figure out the rest... Hey, you sound too much like a good mother, so you will not let anything happen to your baby, you will make sure you provide what he needs and wants... so you will be OK....

Answer 2

Well being financially comfortable is relative. I think what you should do is look at your partner. Do you think that they look like a good parent? And then analyzed you and his relationship. Will you be with this man forever? If not do you think that you communicate well enough to work out you child's future together after separated. There are so many things to look at between you and him first. Then if ever thing checks out ok the hit that sack and have fun. Don't wait to long though my husband have and now I'm have fertility issues. We always wanted to wait until the best time now I realized that we would have been just fine have one a few years ago. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

financial responsibility is huge when having kids. A good formula to consider is if your income is at least 30-40% more than your monthy bills. There are many programs made to assist with expenses, depending on eligibility etc. Provided by private companies and state/federal. Dont forget about the emotional end though. Are you guys completely happy with eachother? How long have you lived together? (i personally vote for a min of 3yrs+ with a huge life altering consideration) But people are doing it without proper funds and ending up on welfare. Weigh out your options and make the decision based on available finances and what you feel the quality of life you can provide. Oh, make sure you got all the fun out too, cuz your stuck in a full-time job for the rest of your life after child birth :)

Answer 4

Well, first you should wait until after the ink is dry on your marriage certificate, and then at minimum have a decent job with regular income (that only comes from one of you), save some money if you can, and get some decent health insurance. There are just minimum things you should have in place, common sense stuff, ya know. Spend some time building & developing your own relationship first.

Answer 5

I have to agree with your fiance. I think that even the best of planning can be thwarted. If you're putting off children for financial reason (bigger house, paying off the bills, etc.) there will always be something that comes up. When the time feels right for the both of you to try to conceive, then that's the time to do it.

Answer 6

You will never be ready financially ready....My fiance and I are talking about having kids too, We are going to wait a year or so after we are married, 1 to enjoy each other, 2 to make a lil more money, and buy a house

Make sure you enjoy each other before you go and have kids!

Answer 7

He is right. You just have to do it. Once they are on their way, there is no stopping. My husband and I never planned it but always said only when we were financially secure...right. Mid college years, she arrived. Small apt in West HOllywood, still going to college, working and it was well worth it. She brought so much joy and love to our lives. I never regret it, not for one minute....then the next ones followed. It is easy once you have the first.

Answer 8

good one, i can agree with him..you'll never truely have enough stability, money, carrer stability. Sometimes are just better than others, so when things feel right and you are able to support what u have going w/ a little extra (BABIES ARE PRICY..MINES 10 MOS...AND HE BREAKS THE BANK FREQUENTLY). i would suggest waiting after your married for a couple years and enjoy your marriage, travel, etc! i got pregnant on the honey moon (ooopppsss) and its fantastic but since we've had him theres no US time! good luck and don't rush!

Answer 9

i agree with him.
my sister and her husband planned when they were going to get pregnant and even, then, my sister said she had those days when she was like "oh, my gosh. what are we getting into?"

i'm pregnant right now and it was a "surprise" and we're fine with it. we'll make it work. it may not have been the most ideal time, but we're still happy about it.

that first time...i don't think you're ever ready...just go with it.
if you both have good steady jobs and you love each other, then i say "go for it!"
just think about your maternity leave. will you qualify for a leave of absence??
if so and your job will still be there when you get back, then i say...go for it!

take care!

Answer 10

I think you will never be ready for it. But it is one of those things that you HAVE to do it. You will appreciate life in a different sense once you have a baby. But be prepared for it, it will change your life forever-both good and bad way but the good definitely outweighs the bad. GOOD LUCK!