boyfriend decided to go back to ex wife.?

Question

My live in bf after 12 months decided to go back to his ex wife they have a 12yr old son. Life was so good and we both loved each other and said we found our soul mates. The ex as always been intouch which i accepted for the childs sake. lately my bf was confused about his feelings with his ex (doesn't know if he still loves her) he thinks he still loves me but because he cant give me 100% he needs to leave and try to work it out with his ex. She has had other sexual partners and he, just me. He is still intouch but only to make sure i'm ok. My bf is a sensitive man and i understand he needs to do this. My problem is i keep wondering if this will work. Does anyone know whether marraiges once all this has happened works.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear that. You were probably a rebound for him: Even if he never intended to do so, he used you to soothe the pain of separation. Move on; even if the marriage has more troubles, the odds of him being a good thing in your life are slim.

That's why counselors recommend that when people separate, they shouldn't get in relationships for a year or 2 afterwards. Better luck next time.

Answer 2

Honey, let me enlighten you on this marry boyfriend situation if he had intentions to not be bother with that woman he was had divorce her from the gate but because they only had a misunderstanding in the relationship and it wasn't that serious enough to divorce and she was not allowing him back into the home just yet he had to find him some where to live until he can go back home and unfortunately honey it was you and your home he use. I not going to say that he didn't care about you but he really didn't love you because if he did he would not have left you and hurt you in that way,he was only telling you things he thought you would like to hear and that would keep you happy until he can get back home. Trust me honey he never stopped talking to his wife and they was always working on their marriage you have a lot of people out there who are father's and Mother's to their kids without being with the other parent. Honey! I am 45 yrs old and I think I have lived longer enough to know when a game is being played on some one and when sincerity is being used, I am not saying I know everything because I am still asking the World for experience. But do not sit around waiting for him to come back move on with your life and ask the Lord to give you the man that has been saving for you.

Answer 3

Sorry but I'm going to throw this into the mix. Everyone has been concerned about the women. That is not the mans current responsibility.
He and his ex created a child.
That child is what counts at this point. No matter what happens with the "feelings" of those two people they need to suck it up, control their emotions around that child. Be responsible adults and be GREAT PARENTS.
You bring a life into this world it is your duty to raise that child in the best manor possible. It was the couples choice to have that child, they now need to put away the personal "feelings" and become parents and teach that child.

Oh, now everyone can go back to worrying about each others feelings, and forget about the child.

Answer 4

Sadly, you are not the first consideration in his life and though he is a respectable man and has not just left you on the wayside he checks to be sure you are okay and he seems to have a good heart in this confusing situation. As he has returned back to his ex-wife it might be best to stop referring him to being your boyfriend but now just a friend, it will help in the healing process. Maybe his ex-wife has talked him around to returning to her or he still had that spark for her after all 12 months is not so long a time. I would suggest you move on with life and not hang around waiting and wondering what he is going to do next for maybe the next few months. Your ex says he can't give you 100% and needs to work it out with his ex-wife - this strongly suggests that he in reality wants his wife back and also be back in his son's life fulltime. He is a good man and cares for your feelings very much and yes he can love you even if not in the same way he feels for his ex-wife. I don't know what the circumstances that caused them to seperate but I know that you should cut off romantic hopes with your now ex-boyfriend and that will give you time to heal and accept your life has moved on with new possiblilties. There are guys out there wanting for someone like you to come along in their lives and are worthy of wanting to give you 100% undivided love and attention you deserve. Accept what has happened and with good judgement you will find your true soul mate who wants you just as much. You seem to be a very good natured women and that is your very best quality.
Best wishes :)

Answer 5

Debbie, as honest as I know how to be, and sincere also, you need to move on with your own life. He has moved out from you, and back in with her. Your heart is not a yo-yo, to be up and down, and up and down! Go out and find a good man that will love you, and care for you, 24/7, 365....not just when he doesn't want his ex! You deserve better than that! Good Luck!!

Answer 6

I know you are in love with him and this is going to be hard for you to read- You need too leave him. He is with his ex tapping that A$$ while you is on yahoo answer and questions. Leave him alone cause if he really love you he would not even be with her. Also he will just take care of his child and that is it. Please take this message to heart.

P.S Marriages can work out if both are still in love.

Answer 7

chances are it may work but rest assured they will be plenty of doubt there on both sides since they both have had other partners i can tell you this from experience the first time they get into a fuss that woman is going to throw you right in his face and the first time he is late she will assume he is with you and when she walks out the door he is going to wonder where she is going and who she is going to be with that trust is gone ,don't get me wrong I'm not saying it wont work but chances are slim ,and if this is what he wonts you need to cut all ties from him dont make life easy for him

Answer 8

yes it can but the odds are definately against them. it is hard to build a marriage from scratch and now to rebuild is harder yet. if you love him then let him go and be happy, so to speak, he will find out again what its like the problems just don't go away. as for him calling you he shouldn't be hurting you like that, tell him that your going to start over and he may call once a week at say eight pm or something don't let him think you believe you life is so empty without him, he'll have his cake and eat it to if you allow him

Answer 9

I don't know the statistics for marriages, but I've heard the statistics for the chance of marriage between a man and the lover they left their wife and family for and it's not good. If they do get married their is a 75% chance of divorce.

Answer 10

Most probably, this relationship is over. Your boyfriend has what is known as "mother complex"---he depends on his wife his emotional needs. Get over it, because he may come back, only to disappoint you again. One clue----did he ever talk about his ex and his son while he was living with you? Next time he comes back, assuming this is what you want, ask him to marry you.