I have been divorced for 7 yrs and remarried now for 2.....?

Question

My x husband girlfriend says to my 12 yr old daughter that I was stupid to divorce her daddy and marry my new husband cause he was so ugly. I never get mad about things, I always bite my tounge and let things go, But this time it made me really upset. How do I go about telling her to keep her mouth shut. This is not the first time they come home telling me things.....Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr =)

this is my X husbands girlfriend...they have been dating 3 yrs and I have been tight lip for this long....

you all are so aweome!!! never meant to get you fired up with me though....lol

Answer 1

You know it would be nice if we weren't adult and we could go around beating the crap out of people's faces..... This would be a perfect time to beat the crap out of someone....lol

What I would do is call her. Tell her it's none of her business who you do or don't marry and you could careless if she thought your new hubby was a hunk or not. Tell her to keep her mouth shut around your daughter. That is very RUDE that she said that too your child no matter her age. I would tell her that. You might need to have a talk with your EX's and find out what the deal is. No step mother or girlfriend has the right to say anything about you. If that don't work beat her tail!
I done got mad and can't type now.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

you know children are always used as pawns in the game of divorce - I think the new girlfriend is just trying to upset you - and apparently it's working and I don't blame you I'd be upset too. I think you and the ex need to sit down and set ground rules. Its not right what she's saying to the children. Parents should keep their feelings about the ex out of a child's ear range. It's hard enough on the kids. Don't put them in the middle of it either. Like I said - you need to talk to the ex and make it known she needs to keep her opinions to herself. Apparently the two of you weren't happy married so you got divorced and didn't stay in an unhappy marriage which also affects the children. You did the smart thing and got out. Now the smart thing to do is talk to the ex and tell him to have his girlfriend keep her mouth shut around the kids.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Really mature! That would enrage me that my child has to hang about such an idiot. Children catch enough crap from their parents divorces, it just adds to the heap when dad or mom start dating another person who will only add stress and strife to their lives. A child shouldn't have to hear any bad stuff about the other parent. It was the parents descision to divorce... and it's abusive to taunt children like that and put thoughts in their heads, they have enough stressors in their lives already trying to balance school (maybe a job) and their lives between mom and dad, and the change from a child to an adult. Seriously, some people need to step outside their selfish little box and take a look at the bigger picture here. I wish that she would just call you and tell you what she thought of you and your new husband to your face, that way it wouldn't include this innocent child. I would call her and tell her, out of earshot of any child, that if she has something to say that she should call you and tell you herself and to quit involving the kids.
I would also tell my daughter that if she feels that this woman has crossed a boundary of hers, to speak up and let her know that she doesn't appreciate her talking bad about her mother and new step dad. They have a right to speak up, especially in this abusive situation. She also has the right to tell her that if she continues this behavior then she will not have any communication withher until she can respect her. I also urge you to think about any comments that you have made about her father, this goes for you too. If you have anything to say to her father, you two talk it out, if not you continue to bite your tongue. Don't EVER EVER EVER put your child(ren) in the middle of your bitter battle, they WILL resent you for it, I promise you that. I'm hoping that better descisions will be made in the future regaurding your daughter. Best wishes!

Answer 4

Ok, the main thing here is your daughter and how she feels, not you and how you feel. You can't go and do anything that would make her stay with her dad worse for her. Just talk to your daughter and explain to her why you and her dad really got divorced and explain to her that love and marriage are about a lot more than looks, and that looks are something everyone judges differently. The best revenge is a smart child who learns how to deal with people like this by knowing the truth.

Answer 5

NEVER use your children to fight. You need to tell your children that they have to understand that mom and dad broke up because they did not get along and that it is not their fault. That you are sorry they are in the middle of this but to keep peace you do not ever ever want to hear about anything dad or his current gf say about you or what they do, and you will never ask them, nor do you want to know it.
Then you go to your lawyer and get a restraining order against the gf from being around your children for trying to incite hatred against you and interfering in joint parenting issues.
The silly cow has no right what so ever in any parenting or other issues regarding your children, lets see how she likes it when she has to leave the house and stay away whenever the kids are around...

Answer 6

Have a talk with her and your ex-husband and tell her if she can't keep her snide comments to herself, the kids cannot go over there when she is in the house. Tell her to grow up, and not to be so stupid as to tell children bad things about their stepfather or any other member of the family. She is a jealous, stupid woman. Good luck.

Answer 7

Oh wow. This sounds so much like my life. Doesn't it suck. It is so hard to do, but ignore her. If she knows she can get under your skin she is gonna love it. That is why she does it. You may want to approach it by having a talk with your ex. Tell him that it is inappropriate for her to be saying such things to your children and that you do not appreciate her pulling your kids into her petty, stupid little world. Tell him to have a talk with her and tell her to stop this. All she is doing is making your kids dislike her anyway. I guess your ex has a good reason for keeping her just his girlfriend, huh? lol That's her whole issue, he married you and hasn't married her. Don't let her know she gets to you. I know it is hard as h*ll, I know!!!!!!!

Answer 8

i believe that you should first ask her what the conversation was to begin with cause sometimes kids get things mixed up and then tell her that it may not be a good idea to tell you daughter things about the divorce and such because you believe in whats in a persons heart than in looks anyway and believe me if you teach your daughter that and you tell her well everybody has their own opinion about whats nice looking and whats not you'll be just fine and so will your daughter. afterall the paper always comes off the package at somepoint and all they have left is their personality is that good or not

Answer 9

You have to talk to your ex-husband about it. Tell him that is in the children;s best interest for his girffrioend not to badmouth you in front of the kids, beacuse is not healthy and is emotionally difficult for them to hear such ill comments. Tell him that you do not talk bad about him at home and that you expect the same from his side.

If this fails, get an appoitment to go to a family theraphy to address the issue. With this he will know that you mean BUSSINESS.

If he is interested in your children well-being he will act on it.

Good luck.

Answer 10

mmmmmmm I'll say just let it go. Just another positive re-enforcement of why you divorce him in the first place. Let your child know that beaurty is skin deep, but true beauty radiates from the inner man and last a life time. Don't try to discredit your ex's girlfriend.