He is 28 years old and after seven years of marriage and two kids, he stil acts like an inmature single bachleor. How can he understand he cant drink and party as he wishes and when he just pleases? I have tried talking to him and asking him to please mature already and he dosent think he is doing anything wrong, what is wrong with him?
2006-06-13 08:41:34 · 21 answers · asked by lightthenight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is he taking care of his responsibilities? If he is, then he at least knows that he does have responsibilities and it seems like the problem is he has no respect for your feelings.
2006-06-13 08:44:36 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 9⤊ 4⤋
The problem is that women expect men to change once the ring is on the finger. If he was a party animal before the marriage he will likely be after. In fact, you probably liked him because he was so much fun, right?
If you did not make toning down the partying after the wedding, a requirement befor the wedding, then I am afraid you made a mistake. Now, you have let this behavior go on for SEVEN years, my gosh. Men are like dogs, you let a behavior persist for this long and it may be too late.
Plain and simple, tell him it is time to grow up or move out. Plain and simple.
2006-06-13 15:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through! My husband and I have been married for 5 years and he still sometimes acts as though he were still single. We have two small children. He doesn't smoke or drink but he does sing in a band! We would fight and argue all the time about everything! Finally we compromised, now when he practices the kids and I go with him and when he starts to play gigs this summer I plan to go to every single one of them! You need to just put your foot down and stop letting him walk all over you. When you let people do whatever they want they take advantage of you and do whatever they want! You have gotten him used to that he can do things and there are no consequences! Give him an ultimatum, either grow up or___(fill in the blank) Hopes this helps...
2006-06-13 15:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Cristy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is "wrong" with him. He's just failing to see the better things in life such as his family. Take yourself and kids on a vacation, and don't include him.....be sure to stay gone for about a week so he starts to miss you guys and hates coming home to an empty house. As far as his drinking is concerned......This could be a legitimate problem within itself. But I can say from my own personal experience that when you "drink" nothing else seems to matter. I'm not saying he's that way, but it's a probability. The site below might help answer that.....I can also say from personal experience .....The consumpiton of alcohol consumes your whole life.
2006-06-13 15:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by ME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for you, the reality of his responsibility of being a husband , and Dad, has never hit him yet. At 28, if he has not before now, it might take you giving him a "wake-up " call to realize it. When you have had ENOUGH of it, and he wakes up one morning alone, with you and the kids gone, it might set in. Some people are hard to convince, and the more you talk to him, the less attention he pays to it.....you have to show that kind! Good Luck!!
2006-06-13 15:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how he'll feel if he comes home all wasted and in his drunked state, hits one of his kids, or gets into a car accident and has to explain of the example dad set by vehicular manslaughter.
If he wanted to be a batchleor he should have stayed a batchleor. Does he realize how many other men would love to be in his place, with a loving concerned wife and loving children?
By his drinking and partying he is just going to hurt you all's relationship and your children. ask him how he feels about that, and if he can't stop drinking then he needs to seek help or seek an attorney depending on if he wants to quit or not.
Divorce judges are not lenient with alcoholic fathers.
2006-06-13 15:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and talk to him about how you are feeling. You need to communicate with each other honestly about whats going on inside of both of you. Tell him how his behavior affects you and your family. Let him know it's ok to party once in a while, but not like he's a college frat boy. He needs to know how you feel and that you need a supportive husband and not an overgrown 18y/o.
If he refuses to change or just keeps going with it - get into counseling with him. Sometimes people need to hear an unbiased 3rd party tell them what you've been telling him all along.
2006-06-13 15:48:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I wish I knew the answer too. I think it has to do with getting married young. My husband said that he didn't "get to experience life". (He's 28 and I'm 26, I was pregnant with our son at 16 and we got married 8 years after.) I missed out on my teen-aged years but I don't feel the need to got out and party, I'm quite happy with a family oriented life. Again I don't know what to tell you, except......PRAY. God Bless.
2006-06-13 15:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by sexykitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this affecting his job, has he been arrested, embarrassed the kids or you? He isn't that young, but he isn't that old, let him have some fun. if it is causing a problem, then get some, i hate to say it or suggest it, counseling. I think that half the fun of being a secure adult is the ability to be immature.
2006-06-13 15:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by thale138 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why you don't get married that young sweetie - now you're screwed. He'll never grow up. He missed out on all the guy partying, and girls, and everything. Not going to change.
2006-06-13 15:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all in the learning curve and so far all u have established is its cool, so if you let it persist then only bad things like ultimatums will come forth i didnt learn until i lost the women i loved for good if that helps you he isnt going to change sorry
2006-06-13 15:46:56 · answer #11 · answered by Jeremy C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋