2006-06-13 08:39:57 · 22 answers · asked by tardis1977 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Spice it up. You two both MUST have a fantasy, try that. I donnt know if it is un-attractiveness, or if it is a case of your bored..you know "same ole' same ole'" type thing. Just put alittle sugar in your sex life, try new things. Good luck, hope things get better for you!!
2006-06-13 08:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by Chasity 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
That's pretty common. As relationships age the sexual component of them almost always declines -- that is equally if not more true for the straight than it is for the gay community. Jonathan and I still regularly have sex after almost 15 years, but it isn't like it was at the beginning.
However, we love each other. The flush of love that we started with has developed into a deeply committed and happy life. We own property, we have a friendship group, we have built a life.
Think about what you want. Do you want a life with someone, or a sex partner more? From the decision that you make on that start working out WITH HIM how to find your way to lasting happiness.
Regards,
Reyn
2006-06-13 09:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you aren't attracted to him any more. Is it that you want new experiences? Are you tired of "vanilla" sex? Is he physically unappealing to you because of changes he has made? Are you not growing as a person in this relationship?
If you really love him, then you should keep asking yourself questions to figure out what the root of the problem is... then you can work on changing it. Spice up the bedroom with a new look. Try some role playing or toys. Do something you never have before.
Is it more about personal growth? Try to talk to him about it. Take a workshop. Read a book. Make a list of goals and aspirations for yourself and figure out the steps to reach your goal.
I've found that when a relationship is getting "stale" but the love is still there, then you need to work hard to respect that love. It is possible that we project our own unhappiness or dissatisfaction onto a partner and then figure we need to switch partners and after that excitement wears off we are switching again.
My best advice is to start with yourself and really examine what is going on. Then you can figure out if you want to put the work in to the relationship to save it and make it even better, or if it is time to move on to a new guy who will be more aligned with your life aspirations or time to be alone for awhile. Best of luck!
2006-06-13 08:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by mktgfmbt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, I have the same problem. Here's what I'm trying: First, you need to be good friends with the person you are with becasue if you all are tired of being around each other or can't wait to get around from each other, then there's no need to try to be more sexually interested in each other. Second, you should try experiencing new things together. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years this October. We just recently moved in together though. I like to try new restaurants, go to the musuem, or just have some straight-up fun by going to a theme/water park and act like two adrenaline-rushed kids. Third, and definitely not least, Patience is KEY. Whatever you dislike or wish you could change about the relationship will not happen overnight. You have to give it some time to get better.
2006-06-13 08:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by allywally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship you go through falling in and out of love , if you have a sound relationship you can weather the low periods . You have to try and remember why you loved him in the first place and then figure out some ways to spice up your sex life , maybe if you do some role play , or go away for a sexy weekend , or make love in different places like the woods or take a drive and have sex in the car . Try to think of and act out some of your sexual fantasies . I hope I have been helpful and something I have suggested may help you to re ignite the passion in your relationship .
2006-06-13 13:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two weeks ago you posted a question, in which you mentioned that you had gone on a blind date.
Now you're speaking of "your man of 3-plus years."
Forgive me for mentioning this, but how do you justify this???
Of course, given the fact that the average gay man has WAY more sexual partners than does the average heterosexual, this doesn't really surprise me.
I'd recommend finding a good woman to be with.
As a group we are better-looking than men (there really aren't that many men who are total head-turners, but there are a lot of women like that), and we're not nearly as likely to give you hepatitis, HPV, or AIDS.
2006-06-13 08:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is sex even an issue...?
Sex is a brief act of love, and life is a continuum of ever changing circumstances.
I've been married 23 years and I don't find my beautiful wife sexually attractive as i once did. But life isn't about sex, unless you have a problem.
Some gay friends have remarked on a number of occasions that the consistency of sex falls to a dead stop with their partners after a couple of years. My question/remark is: Is your relationship really based around the SEX...? Is there more to it...?
2006-06-13 08:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by tincre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happens in relationships sometimes...what appealed to you in the past that is not there now? Can you find a way to re-trigger the "old" feeling of attraction? If not, perhaps counseling...or maybe it's just time to move on...very few things last "forever" and that goes for relationships (and that's okay!). Real life is rarely the happily-ever-after fairy tale...but that doesn't mean there still aren't wonderful times with wonderful people.
2006-06-13 08:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Break up; remain friends.
2) See a good therapist together and see if a sexual reawakening can occur.
3) See a good therapist on your own and try to understand why you no longer want to have sex with someone you once wanted to have sex with.
4) Content yourself with a sexless marriage. Most marriages in fact turn out to be sexless after a certain period. Take comfort in masturbation.
2006-06-13 13:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to analyze what committment and love really means to you in this particular relationship. If you love someone then you will actually want to be with them in that sexual way. Maybe somewhere deep inside you have fallen out of love with him and maybe its time to move on. There is nothing wrong with this. Just be true and honest and don't cheat on him like that one fool said. And if you're gay, sweetheart, then you are gay. Being with a woman is not going to change who you are inside!!! Good luck!!!
2006-06-13 08:52:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
many couples suffer the lost of passion after awhile. it's up to you to rekindle the romance. If he is a good person other than the sex department should not just walk out like that. A hard man is easy to find but not a good man.......
2006-06-13 11:14:17 · answer #11 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋