I think my husband has a real problem. I dont know what to do!! I love him so very much but this is a constent problem. He had hid this from me before but i found out that my husbaand like to get the #'s for call girls. For people in the L.A. area you might be familiar with it, the newspaper is called the L.A. Express. I asked him to please not get those newspapers and he promised me but time and time again i have found him lying. Whats the need to call those #'s??? Now instead of getting the whole newspaper all he does is cut the articles out. I find this to be a very big betrayel, am i wrong??? I dont know what to do anymore. Why all the lying???
2006-06-13 08:29:04 · 6 answers · asked by campos2637 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not sure if he is unhappy in his marriage. The reason I say that is because happiness is very relative to each individual. We all have our needs, desires ... what makes one person happy may not make give another person the same sensations. The key is finding out what is going on with the other person, what makes that person happy or satisfies that person.
In this case, you may have to find out what he does when he calls these numbers ... well, I suppose we can all guess what is going on here. But the approach, to have him stop, does not answer the question. Perhaps it's an obsession, or a very strong desire. Perhaps there are things that he likes that he would not dare ask you to do, out of fear of rejection, or being considered sick or unhealthy, or a freak.
One important step in understanding is acceptance. You would have to be willing to hear something that you don't want to hear, and not react in a way that instills whatever fear or rejection he may anticipate. There is quite a bit of undoing that has to be done ... I'm sure that this issue has come up time and again, and he is trying to find ways to hide it from you, but still fulfill his desire to satisfy you.
What he needs is help. He needs someone who understands him, accepts him, and can help him. I'm not sure if he realizes that or not ... I'm not sure how he views the marriage, or his / your philosophy, how your marriage is viewed by your religion, etc, but I do think that something is wrong. Counseling gets a really bad rap ... there are alot of counselors out there that really shouldn't be counseling people. That may be a course of action for both of you. If you go, my thought is that you should both be willing to explore options and alternatives with an open mind. He may not know why he does what he does ... he may not want to face that what he does is rather despicable in a marriage ... he may be lying to you to keep from hurting you. This may not make much sense, but it may be the only explanation he has. It probably has little or nothing to do with you, or the marriage to you, but it may be something that compells him ... but ... only if he feels that he needs help will he be able to receive it ... whether from you, a counselor (recommended), friends, family, etc.
No, you are not wrong ... the betrayal stems across many areas ... he must be willing to be accountable for his actions, to be corrected. If this is not possible, or he is unwilling to be honest and seek correction, then stronger measures should be taken. Remember, keep the mind open ... stronger measures doesn't mean divorce.
2006-06-13 09:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Earl G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youve simply hit a rut. When matters are the identical for too lengthy, any one might get tired of every different. Try doing some thing to spice matters up. Next time you attempt to have intercourse, provoke a few well foreplay and dont be afraid to inform him what you want. Let him recognise if youre pleasured, you might think extra into it. Try taking a brief holiday or some thing. Whatever you make a decision to take a look at, make certain you converse to him. Make definite that he's conscious of you short of to depart. If he sees that youre critically when you consider that leaving, he would positioned forth extra attempt. If its nonetheless the identical tale, you dont ought to be comfused approximately leaving. If he doesnt do some thing exclusive, then you understand its time to take off
2016-09-09 00:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by vanderbilt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that. its a terrible situation to be in. i have been in a similar relationship and to put it bluntly dont be with this man, if he lies and lies time and again he will continue to do so. it will only hurt you in the end. lying to you is disrespectful and hurtful, him lying all the time means he does not respect you. leave him
2006-06-13 09:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by _juicy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you asked him to stop, he did not stop, he does not respect your feelings and yes, this is a betrayal...do you want to work this out? does he? tell him you cannot continue this way and if he won't respect you, then leave...however, the only reason to have a call girl's number is to use it, and if this is the case, you should ljust leave now
2006-06-13 08:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you start making him account for every penny in your bank account. I suspect he likes paying for sex. He may have a sex addiction. He might like some fetish he thinks you are not cool with. I suspect he is cheating on you.
2006-06-13 08:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am almost 100% sure he's seeking escorts for paid sex.
2006-06-13 08:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋