loved/adored only him & he knows it.I'm 45 yrs young and I know I have been blind to ALOT of things he has done. We had a VERY bad year (2004) and he allowed his family to abuse me the second they saw him do so. He's been in prison for the last 20 mos. and will be out in 2 weeks. He stopped writting to me months ago and when he did, it wasn't the same, come on I know my husband and when he is guilty about something...he puts himself "on blast" and plays me for a fool. Or blames ME. My motto this year has been "ZERO TOLERANCE" and I'd like to keep to it. I love him, Iv'e always LOVED him, always will.BUT I don't want to.I wrote him alot making a fool of myself.
I want to follow my head and not my heart for once in my life It's never gotten me anywhere I don't have anything to show for my life, I still ride a bike for Pete's sake!! I live with relatives and I work full time, I take care of myself and dont show my age, guysYoung esp try their best but I'm not interested what do I do?
2006-06-13 07:46:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
everytime you start missing him, think of all the bad things he's done to you. don't let yourself be in love with him. it's ok to love him because you cant help that but don't ever ever go back. listen to motivational music it's really helps me. my favorite song : "me, myself, and I" by Beyonce. I love listening to that song it helps me a lot and it reminds me of how strong i am without that man. don't show him your emotions and ask God for help and put your faith in him. keep doing what your moto is "ZERO TOLERANCE" committ to it and don't turn back! good luck!
2006-06-13 08:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Miss X♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I know it sounds strange that I am saying this of myself. There is/has been a lot of similer in your husbands life and mine. I have never been to prison and am very much guilty of having given so much trouble to my wife to the extent where any person who did not love another so much, would have just walked out without a second thought. I always imagined myself as the master who expected to be waited on and did everything I bidded to be done. My wife went through hell with my various foolish activities ( she is a "looker"!) with other women and caught me at every stage and yet managed to continue with my temprement. I only realised how beautiful she was, when I came down with cancer in its final stages and she was there like a solid wall between the cancer and I. I really do not imagine anyone else would have even bothered too much if I lived or died. She did everything in her power to ensure I got better and her encouragement and her love brought me back to my feet and gave me a new life. I have now changed and see my wife in a different light - as someone I love more then anything in this world and cannot live without. Any misdeeds always come return in a full circle with added interest and I can vouch for that as I really did suffer for all the abuse and humilation I let my wife go through.
I am sure its a matter of time before your husband too realises your worth and only then will he understand your love for him. I would say stand by him as he needs you now and then let fate take its course. Time is a great teacher and am sure he will learn if not the straight way, in the really rough manner.
I really dont know the full background on your husbands temprement but I do hope this little piece has been of some help to you.
Take care.
2006-06-13 15:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by livingonthinice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart. Concentrate on yourself for a change. I think you have spent enough time on your husband. File for divorce and move on. Sounds easy, but it won't be. Take it slow and learn to love yourself again. Get some counseling to help you. It does work if you get the right therapist. Don't get involved with anyone else right now, just concentrate on YOU and you only. You have to learn to feel good about yourself again. I'm sure there are support groups you could join, this will help you also. Bless you and I wish you all the best in your life. Keep your chin up.
2006-06-13 14:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got the right idea...follow your head and not your heart. Zero Tolerance. Sounds like he has someone else writing to him too...could be the reason he's not writing you back. You seem to have a lot of love to give. Wait and give it to the right person. Keep working, hopefully one day get your own place. Keep your head on straight, get your husband out of your life. Love may surprise you when you least expect it. You deserve better!
2006-06-13 14:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with a guy that went to prision?!?! Maybe you should try getting rid of the zero and getting a guy who treats you good and doesn't let his family treat you incorrectly. There are many guys out there and if you really want to stick with a guy who has been to prision and lets you feel this then you kind of deserve what you get.
2006-06-13 14:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by autumnzank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same type of relationship for 4 years. it took me a year to start dating again and another 6 months after that to pay off all my bills and start to worry about MY life instead of OUR life. now i have a wonderful boyfriend who works and treats me good. it's hard to move on but it's def worth it. you just have to have self control. don't call him. don't write to him. if you see him out don't even look at him. it'll take time but it's worth it. eventually you'll meet someone that interests you.
2006-06-13 16:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life. Let the loser go. You can do much better than that. Get interested in someone or something else. Good luck.
2006-06-13 18:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself! You just stated that your motto for this year is zero tolerance! If that is your motto then you should have it already made up in your mind that you aren't going to put up with any more bull ****!
2006-06-13 14:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by confused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's with people like you. Like the abuse? Like being treated sub-class. Christ sakes, get a life - improve yourself, get yourself away from these situations or shut up. He's a loser - always will be. Think he'll change...Please. Stay with him, and you'll be kissing his fist again.
2006-06-13 14:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is abusive, drop him . You seem to have a good thing going on your own. Keep it up. Make a good life for your self and find some one else who will appreciate you.
2006-06-13 14:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by usserydog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋