I don't know if I should be gay for good or not, should I be?

Question

I am 16 yrs. old and about to enter college. I don't feel that I am gay and I want to have a relationship with girls, but my problem is that I am attracted to guys more than the girls. When I go to the beach I like watching guys' bodies rather than girls. I don't know what the h*ll is going on...

Answer 1

you are probably in denial right now, but in time you would know exactly what you want. go to college with an open mind and see where it takes you...whichever direction you see yourself going in...is probably the orientation you prefer. Good luck

Answer 2

To tell you the truth, there is no real answer... Only you can decide on what your sexuality is. It can be tough making a decision like this, but know that if you decide to make it, you know, suppose you decide to be gay, you don't have to tell the whole world about it... We live in a society where we have gender roles that one is supposed to follow (The men bring home the bacon, and the women cooks the bacon)... But those are all un-realistic acts that no one really follows nowadays... Make a decision, but do it for yourself, and hey, you don't have to announce it like you're some great diva, keep it to yourself for a while, and announce yourself whenever you feel ready... Some people just know when they are or not... You'll get there....

Answer 3

You may be Bisexual and have an attraction to guys , You can't decide to be gay or decide to be straight . Sexual orientation is assigned before birth and will often present its self when a man or a woman are beginning to Bloom sexually . I didn't figure out that I liked guys until I was 19 for sure . I had my first sexual experience with a guy at 12 , but I dated girls through out high school . You may need to explore your feelings to know for sure what you want .

Answer 4

I think you have the ask yourself why you are so intent on going one way or the other. You are only 16 and it seems that you are a little unsure.

REMEMBER, if you are gay, or decide to be gay just remember that is OK and it is your decision when to tell people and when to come out if you are unsure when to.

One of my best friends came out to me at the age of 17, but was unsure for alone time; their answer to their indecisiveness was just to live life and let the answers come as they may. As I said you are young the pieces of the puzzle will come no matter how frustrating it seems right now.

Answer 5

Only you can answer that question for yourself. You cannot look to others to determine your sexuality for you. It sounds like you are a bit too young to be making such a major decision such as this. Perhaps you should wait until you are older to determine this. Right now you may be confused and attracted to both sexes but, one day, you will see it clearly. You may want to be with girls because you think that is what you are supposed to do (according to society and popular belief) but you may acutally be attracted to guys. Perhaps you are attracted to both and you're just not sure. There is no need to make a decision now while you are young. Explore your options, but make sure you are safe. I'm not condoning sexual intamacy as one of these options, but rather suggesting that you search within yourself for these answers before you act on anything. Good luck.

Answer 6

You might be bisexual, but it sounds to me like you are gay and in denial. You WANT to be straight, but your body is reacting as you really are -- a gay man. That is much different from being bi.

You cannot control what you want. You cannot control whether you are gay or straight. If you are gay you can make yourself miserable (and if you are gay, trust me when I say a marriage would make you miserable) or you can be celibate, which will make you miserable in another way, but you cannot change what is; anymore than a guy who can't keep his eyes off women can change to being gay. You CAN choose to be happy and find a lover and enjoy life however. That choice is up to you. The choice of what you are -- well -- it isn't up to you and there really isn't any choice that you can engage in making.

Email me if you need someone to talk to, I listen well.

Reyn
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 7

16 entering college? You must be smart and skipped a grade or 2!?
Take your time and figure it out. Try going on a date with a guy and see how you feel.
You can't control if your gay, you were born that way and your just figuring it out!

Answer 8

I am certainly no expert in determining sexuality, in my experience you just sort of know. Since you are self aware enough to realize you are more attracted to men's bodies, but still want to be with women (which sounds a little like internalized homophobia, to me) then perhaps you should settle on identifying as bi to give yourself some options to figure out what you really want and who you are really attracted to. In the end, you'll know in your heart what feels right.

Answer 9

Every one is confused from time to time, that is just part of discovering yourself and your sexuality. There is nothing wrong with being gay, straight, or even bi! Diversify youself, have boy and girl friends and just relax, let it happen. One day, whether you are ready or not you'll know what feels right, just don't force yourself one way or the other. Relax, and enjoy life!

Answer 10

Sounds like you could bisexual. However, just becuase you find the same sex attractive it doesn't mean you are gay. Now, do you want to act on that attraction? If so you are showing signs of being gay.