How do i get over being cheated on?

Question

A while back my partner cheated on me, and even though i tell him i will try to forget about it, I cant. It like messes with my head and sometimes i start thinking crazy stuff. I always said i will never put up with that, but i did. I dont know if im doing right or wrong, but its very hard to trust him. I sometimes think that he is thinking about her or had something farther with her. I love him alot. But i am very confused. We have had long conversations and always talked that i cannot do nothing no more, its in the past, i just try to look toward the future. But he still doenst know how its feels and all the things you can think about and go crazy about. What should i do, or what advice do you give me. I dont want to ruin my marriage by throwing it in his face everytime we start a fight.

Answer 1

Forgiving is easier than forgetting. Forgive and do not bring it up any more. If you need to takl to him then talk to him, he may not be able to help you understand better. Go to counseling or a Relationship Coach. Do not ruin your marriage. what you have is precious, keep it that way, he also needs to do the same.

Answer 2

I am actually going through the same issue. I know how it feels and its very hard to forget about it. My boyfriend and I had been dating since him and his soon to be ex-wife had split, which has been over a year ago.I have never loved someone like I loved him. His divorce was suppose to have been finally 6 months ago. However his parents was pressuring him into making things work because they don't believe in divorces. He moved back in with her for 2 weeks over the holidays and now his divorce wont be final for 2 more months. I had not a clue that anything was even wrong, That really hurt me and even though he said not a day went by that he didn't think about me or regretted hurting me, how can you make yourself believe that. Especially when he is putting the blame on his parents for his faults. You just have to do the best that you can with it and try to move on and put it behind you. Trust is a major issue in a relationship and once the trust has been broken its hard to respect and trust that person ever again. However if you love that person you will try anything to make it work and try to mend things back to the way they were. I promise things will get better. I am having a hard time trusting him but I am trying, and things seem to be working out great and we are getting back to our old relationship. I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

Honestly... what I think is that you will probably never forget about it. It will always affect your marriage. My parents cheated on each other for a while... and they nearly divorced several times... but they had 6 kids together... and we were all still very yong at that time. If you have kids together... then I suggest you try to stick with him for the children's sake. If you have no children... then I think that the best way is to divorce. You have every right to hate him and not trust him. Like you said... you don't know if he's thinking about her or whatever. Look... do whatever your heart tells you to do... if you love him enough... then maybe you should stay, but when you two got married... commitment was the promise... and he hurt you. No women deserves to be cheated on... those are the words from my husband.

Answer 4

It is very hard to get passed something like that. Have you asked him why he did it. Maybe there is a reason for it. There has to be. Start over and take it a day at a time because if you don't than it might not be the outcome you hoped for. When you love someone that much it is hard to just get up and walk away from a marriage. Good luck I hope this helped

Answer 5

I was soooooo in love with my boyfriend about 3 years back. We'd been together for a and a year later I found out he had another girlfriend. Now I've become very sceptical of men, even though my BF now is the sweetest! I was soooo hurt the day I found out that I pinched myself to see if I was in a nightmare. When I got home, shook myself to sleep. That hurt a lot!!! Now I'm happy with my new guy and ex wants me back and gets upset when he sees me. Time will heal you. If he cheated once, he's capable of doing it again. You deserve better!!!

Answer 6

cheating on him isn't going to make it better. if you truly love him and believe that your relationship is worth saving then i believe the you need to go to counseling. you need to discuss your feelings with an outsider. you should probably consider your partner going to some sessions on his own. but if you can't really put this behind you and it is always going to come up and get thrown in his face then you need to make the next move and end your relationship or at least separate for a while. remember you didn't make the first step in throwing away your marriage, this isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility to make sure that YOU are happy.

Answer 7

Marriages can and have overcome infidelity. It doesn't happen over night though. Couples therapy along with engaging in activities that don't revolve around sex, will help you to form a bond and a future that will overshadow the past. Good luck.

Answer 8

It's hard to get over a hurt like that, but as time goes on it will hurt less & less. The key is to stop using it as a cruch when you get into an argument. It's easy to bring it back up in anger. So don't. Everytime you use it you reopen the wound & it will never heal.

Answer 9

Seems as though you have tried to get over it on your own, to no avail. Possibly try couples therapy if you are not ready to throw in the towel.

Answer 10

I would cheat on him w/one of his family members, call Jerry hook up the show idea...and tell your man 4 da first time baout it on live t.v!