my girlfriend wants a baby but i told her we r still young and she doesnt care so wat should i do?

Question

my girlfriend wants a baby so bad and she wants to get pregnant we are still young wat should we do she doesnt want to use condoms or nothing

Answer 1

Run!

No, seriously, DO NOT make a baby before you are ready. Her reasons sound suspect, so it is up to you to take charge in this situation, which means you must use male birth control. This will mean abstinence, or condom and spermicide until science comes up with better options. Don't let her lull you into believeing she's changed her mind, and promises she's "using something". I can pretty well guarantee you will end up being a resent-filled daddy very soon if you let that happen.

Answer 2

Your feelings on this are just as important as hers, and you're right. You should never have a baby too young or when you don't have the time or money, no matter how much your girlfriend wants it. Have a talk with her: explain exactly why you don't want to have a baby yet, and tell her that even though you're not ready, you still love her and are willing to make the relationship work. Next, you have to put your foot down if she is still persistant. Insist on using condoms, every single time. (don't rely on her for birth control, because chances are since she wants a baby she may say that she is on the pill when she really isn't) If she still doesn't get it, drop her. There's more important things in life right now, and if she can't understand and support that you don't need her in your life.

Answer 3

Things needed for a baby:

Lodging
Transportation
Stroller
Carseat
Head Rest (car seat standard too small for newborn)
Carseat Bundler
Stroller Bundler
10 hats (just newborn size)
10 sleepers
10 onesies
15-20 pairs of socks
5 scratch mits
Bassinet
Mattress
3/4 Sheet for bassinet
Lap pad for bassinet (we diapers don't ruin mattress)
Baby swing
Baby play mat
6+ blankets
4 pairs of booties

Plus all those little outfits you see on the babies...those aren't cheap. Even Target/Walmart's ouftifts are $10 per bottom/$10 per top...unless shopping a season behind for clearance. You'll want as many of these as possible. Babies have a tendancy to poop on everything. And, spit up. Even now I go through about 2/3 outfits a day.

All the clothing listed has to be changed every 1.5 to three months. So, you are constantly buying new wardrobe things. You'll also want pictures (camera, film, developing, and professional studio fees).

Now, if breastfeeding you can save some on the formula. But, the chances of someone so young continuning the breast feeding is slim. Studies show under 8% actually continue after leaving the hospital...some studies show even less; around 4%. So, don't plan on it no matter what she says. It isn't bonding right away (baby sleeps too much and doesn't "know" mom yet). And, it hurts like hell.

So, Target here has the formula Similac Advance just regular formula for $25. I go through I can a month supplementing a single feeding (6 oz) each day. I feed my son every three hours so that's 8 feedings per day. You'll need a can of powder (the cheapest formula available) per week. Plus, more as baby wants more and as you add rice cereal to the diet. Plus, if baby doesn't like the formula, has allergies, or for some reason needs a different formula it will be more expensive.

I've not even talked much about the gear you'll need...
Play yard
Crib
Dresser
Changing Table
Mattress
LOTS OF SHEETS
(they leak at night...)
Lap Pads to protect the sheets as much as possible
Layer your sheets and lap pads so you can just pull off a sheet and lap pad in the middle of the night; that way you aren't fiddling with the mattress in the dark half asleep
Portable moses basket - do your friends houses have baby gear? Your parents? Can they afford to keep baby gear? You'll have to bring your own place for baby to lay...
TOYS
TOYS
TOYS
Teething rings

Diapers. Depending on your baby - usually changed every two hours. I just bought a pack of 72 diapers on Thursday and they'll be gone on Saturday. That pack cost me $15.

What about getting a place for your new family.
You'll have to decorate that place. Get some furniture for yourselves too. Then decorate the baby's room and get the baby furniture. And, baby supplies.

There is always something a baby needs...
If she is having such trouble with her family not only is she not old enough...but not emotionally old enough. If you see cuts on her arms what is she going to do to your baby?

Do you know what sets her off? Will a baby crying nonstop do the same or worse? A newborn can't possibly give love - they eat, sleep, poop, and cry. That's it. You aren't rewarded for the hard work until they start to smile about a month later.

Have her email me:
[e-mail]

I'm a new mom - 28
I also had some similar issues as your girlfriend, perhaps she'd be willing to have someone who has been there talk to her.

Answer 4

If you don't feel ready - you should not have a baby. Babies and children take a lot of work, patience, time, love, etc. If you don't want one yet - it will be very difficult to do all that is required to be a parent. I think you need to talk to your girlfriend and discuss this with her more. Share your concerns and feelings with her. Maybe she will agree to wait a few months or a year to see if you feel more ready. In the meantime, maybe she can babysit, work at a daycare, volunteer in a church nursery, etc so that she can get a feel for how much work a baby can be. I hope that helps some!

Answer 5

You have a say so in this if you feel your too young then you are. If she is hell bent on having a child she will. That shouldn't be your problem. Don't rely on her for birth control it could be trap. If she refuses to have sex with a condom then don't! My advice end this relationship and quick. Long as she has these foolish ideas of having a child while still young no need to drag you down with her. Many men are placed in situations they don't plan on in this very manner. If you do not want a child then you shouldn't have to have one. If she cant accept that then you need to move on

Answer 6

are you ready to marry her? (not that you have to marry if she gets pregnant) but if she gets pregnant you will be tied to her for the rest of your lives because of the child. You should always wear a condom because youre not sure, if you were ready, youd prolly be more sure. You said youre still young, so wait, there is no rush. Babies are expensive, tiring, and take up almost all your time. Are you ready to give up all nights drinking and partying? Are you ready to give up 8 hours of sleep? You should be the smart one in this situation and wait til youre both ready and you know for a certainty this is the owmen you want to mother your child and that youre ready to see her for the rest of your life.

Answer 7

If any of your relatives has young children or babies, maybe you should have your gf baby-sit them for a day or two? When she finds out how hard it is, then she might change her mind. Sometimes girls who are like that have been neglected by their parents or they have low self-esteem, and think that having a baby will solve the problem. She should talk to her parents or maybe a psychologist to help her figure out why she wants to have one.
It is not easy to have a baby, and it is not easy to take care of one.

Answer 8

How young? Could you guys (or she) financially support a child? If not point that out to her. IF she keeps nagging you about it take that as a sign to GET OUT! If SHE wants to get pregnant and you don't want to have a child she'll eventually get what she wants - your help or not. If she wants to have sex and doesn't want to use a condom turn her down. Using no condoms is asking for trouble.

Answer 9

This question has come up a lot in my relationship with my boyfriend, hes 5 years older than me and he wants a baby. i tell him that we should wait.. WHY?, because if you cannot take care of a baby fully you shouldnt have one. Weither or not you can take care of it or not does not decide wiether you should have one. Just keep telling her how you feel about the situation and that you are not comfortable not using any protection.

Answer 10

honestly if she really wants it there will be little you can say to her to change her mind but what you can say is that you dont feel comfortable with a baby right now because you both may or may not be finacially stable enough for a child yet, or you may not feel ready for that kind of responsibility or commitment, ir that you just dont think its a good tim in your life for a baby.